Anyone awake?

[pickles5]

I need advice urgently before I go to work pls x

go on

I’ve recently found out I’m pregnant, but work is so so stressful at the moment I’m having panic attacks at the thought of going in. My boos doesn’t know I’m pregnant as I wanted to keep it private until school goes back after half term but I just can’t be there right now. The tricky part is that I get married Saturday and my boss will be attending the evening reception. I wanted to get signed off with the stress as I’m becoming so ill over it. I’ve written this email to send to the boss but does it need anything else added?

Dear [Boss’s Name],
I am writing to formally inform you that I am approximately four weeks pregnant. Unfortunately, I have been suffering from significant sickness and nausea overnight, alongside panic attacks, and I do not feel well enough to return to work today.
I will be attending a doctor’s appointment today to discuss these symptoms and seek advice.
I had wanted to share my pregnancy news with you formally and in person, rather than over the phone, as it is still very early days. However, given the circumstances and my ongoing symptoms, I felt it was important to make you aware of my pregnancy and explain the reason for my absence.
I will keep you updated following my appointment and let you know how I am feeling.
Thank you for your understanding.

Do you need to mention the pregnancy? I mean you’re not well. That’s enough.

Are you in a union? Is your boss generally good? Are work normally OK with MH absences?

I felt that I needed to mention the pregnancy as they thought I was off yesterday doing wedding prep when I spent the whole day being sick. They’re not the most understanding and yes I’m with a union. I’ve already told them I’ll be going back in today but I genuinely can’t face it I’m in a state right now

I wouldn't mention the pregnancy. 4 weeks is very, very early. At that stage has it even been confirmed as it is just missed period stage?

Can't you say you have d&v or a migraine?

Best of luck OP.

I mean I’d just say, “so sorry, I spent the whole of yesterday throwing up. Not well enough to come in”. All true and no mention of the pregnancy. But I have a great boss.

If you're only 4 weeks and are having significant sickness I think you have hg. I've had it 3 times and each time it's started very early, 3 weeks, 7 weeks and 11 weeks. I would go to the doctor's, get some meds and then tell your boss. Don't mention the pregnancy in this email though. Just say you're unwell,.you can self certify for 5 days.

I would keep the email brief and factual but without mentioning the pregnancy, it's on a need to know basis right now, your GP needs to know, your employer doesn't. You have nausea and vomiting with palpitation type symptoms, it will most likely be assumed that it is wedding nerves anyway.

Make sure that you have proof of the GP appointment in the form of a screenshot or a photo of the actual electric login at the surgery.

Congratulations on both your wedding and pregnancy.

1. Don't mention the pregnancy; just say you're ill.
2. Did you use AI to write this and are you able to re-write it in your own words? It sounds like it was produced by AI.

Thanks forge advice all but I have already sent the email as I felt it was important to inform my boss of what is happening especially with the stresses at work coming up and how unwell I’m currently feeling. No the email is not AI, I have written it myself and wanted it to sound as professional as possible. I understand a few of you have said it’s too early to tell my boss but it is a confirmed pregnancy with many, many tests that also confirm this

I think was a good idea to mention the pregnancy. That triggered you being in the protected period. Otherwise too it would look like you can’t be bothered due to the wedding. A good resource going forward are: Maternity Action.

Hope you have a great day Saturday and congratulations.

I think it's fine to mention the pregnancy too. I can understand not telling family in case something goes wrong, but it's not like your boss is going to become emotionally invested. And if the worst happened you would need time off then too.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and wedding and I hope you manage to find a job which causes less stress.

I agree about seeing the Dr wrt potential HG.

Thank you for this reply! This has helped a lot. I knew it was the right thing to do as I absolutely don’t want them thinking I’m having time off to sort wedding things when that’s not the case. I also wanted to let them know so that as you have mentioned, I am protected by law to give myself piece of mind. Some other replied here have made me really quite stressed 🥲 so thank you for this x

Thank you for your reply, that has made me feel better. I felt this was the best option as I’m protected and as you say if something were to happen I would need time off for that too. I am definitely not having fun planning a wedding at the moment, not living my best life currently lol x thank you 🫶

you are going to see your GP too, right?
(otherwise how do you plan to get through the wedding?)

Yes waiting on a call back from them this morning thank you