Hypnobirthing in practice: how helpful was it during labour?

[TheWildZebra]

Hypnobirthing - what’s your experience?

I’m 6.5 months and have just finished reading Siobhan Millers hypnobirthing book. It makes it all sound so easy, like we have so much control over our bodies in birth. I want to believe it, it certainly creates a great sense of security and agency over a process that is literally the most unpredictable thing ever.

But how much of it is ideology?

now that I’m showing, I feel like I have someone - colleagues and even near strangers- come up to me on an almost daily basis to tell me their birth horror stories. Surely if hypnobirthing was something everyone practices (and I don’t think it’s mega niche given it’s including in antenatal classes etc) then you’d hear less about these experiences.

I’d like to hear from those who went into birth wanting to rely on hypnobirthing, and otherwise were meant to have very low risk pregnancies/ births. How did it work for you?

Some women really do seem to enjoy scaring pregnant women with horror stories- I think they often like the attention. Boring births aren't allowed to be discussed as you're then accused of being smug and people saying it's all just luck! Bloody not, I worked really hard during my labours!

Thanks everyone for your thoughtful responses. Appreciate you sharing your experiences in a sensitive way!

I think what I really just want is certainly and control (don’t we all!), so does that leave elective CS as the only option?!

I found it useful for the fact that I found the breathing really useful and really helped me cope up to 8cm for my labour so I would say learn the breathing even if it helps you through the early stages or to remain calm.

The lack of control was actually what helped me the most. It was just something that was happening to me and there was nothing I could do about it so I may as well accept it.

Hmm, maybe... but I think actually as another poster said, it is good to accept that you won't be in control, and work on accepting just whatever is, "in this now moment". And I think this side of things can actually be a strong theme in some hypnobirthing or similar materials and can be a very good message to gain from it.

It is very natural of course to want certainty and control, but realistically we can't have this over everything, all the time. You certainly don't have certainty and control over parenting, for example. And too much striving for certainty and control is how anxiety disorders self-feed and even things like OCD, at a very extreme end of the scale.

I actually wonder whether the very human and understandable desire for certainty and control is part of the toxic side of hypnobirthing, what that is latching onto. Because I do think that the misleading idea that hypnobirthing will put you in control of how labour goes is the most toxic side of it - because it is selling you something impossible, and because if you happen to choose hypnobirthing, and buy into this, and your labour goes well then people tend to then have the belief that hypnobirthing DID cause their good outcome and this cements a view that people who had a more difficult birth did not "hypnobirth" well enough.

And then the other side is if you happen to choose hypnobirthing, and buy into this, and then your labour does not go how you expect, it can create these awful feelings of failure, that you didn't do it right, that it was even worse, perhaps, than if you had not got really into the idea of hypnobirthing in the first place.

This actually kind of makes me think of this article - I come back to this article a lot, I bought her book as well, she is a very good writer.

https://velamag.com/superbabies-dont-cry/

Perhaps my need for control slightly fed into my need for a C-section (excellent and pain free births btw).

Though it's something as parents we all have to let go of eventually - these little ones don't eat when we want them to eat sleep when we want we want them to sleep etc. They like to poo with the most inconvenient times, and that kind of carries on through childhood. A lot of parenting is learning to go with the flow, so maybe childbirth is supposed to be an introduction to that.

I found it to be a waste of time with my 1st. The pain and experience couldn't be any different to what I'd visualised in the hypnobirthing sessions.
With my second, I blasted out trance music and took as many drugs as they would give me. It was so much better second time around!
I would say go into it without any expectations then you won't be disappointed

A lot of it went out of the window when it came to it and I found the recording annoying while I was in the throes.
i found the breathing and humming really helpful though. Especially when I was in the pool, I went into the zone. The midwife told me to stop humming and start pushing! But I carried on as it felt like humming was helping me relax which in turn, helped the baby out as it stopped me trying to hold him in!

And yes, ignore mad birth stories! Really unnecessary that people offload their scare stories onto pregnant women.

^^this - the reason i like Juju Sundin’s Birth Skills so much is that it’s NOT about avoiding interventions (because that’s largely down to luck/physiology/baby position etc). It’s about being zen enough to just ride the wave and accept you’re not in control. Helped keep me calm during 28 hours of labour and an emergency section - because i didn’t feel like there was anything to ‘fail’, i was able to remain fairly centred and just allow what needed to happen, to happen.

(didn’t stop me swearing my tits off and giggling manically on gas and air, but that was quite cathartic 😄)

@TheWildZebra looking back, I always compared labour and birth to running a marathon or lifting really heavy weights at the gym. It’s tiring and can be painful and overwhelming, but it also feels quite positive and productive in a way that, say, pain from a broken bone doesn’t. You’ll be ok, whether you’re in labour for 3 hours with no interventions or 30 hours with lots of help - you’ll handle it.

I am glad I didn’t rely just on hypnobirthing, but I think it’s a useful part. I really recommend Juju Sundin’s Birth Skills book, as that gives you lots more tools to help manage any pain.

Also do what’s in your control to avoid a back labour (spinning babies exercises etc).

I have a low pain and discomfort threshold, and I had an unmediated birth which is what I hoped for!

I found the natal hypnotherapy cd very useful. I listened to it for about 20 mins every night from 6 months in. Nice relaxing time. Then used the music in my birth which helps with the same visualisation. I also found the visualisation (no music) useful in other medical situations like dental surgery.

2 dc born using it alongside TENS. First dc was hospital birth no other pain relief. 2nd was at home and had a water birth with gas and air. First time I tore and needed stitches. 2nd time no stitches needed. Both dc were 9lbs9.

Fairly successful I'd say.

Fairly similar experiences here used natal hypnotherapy and TENS only for 2 DC - one was a fairly standard 1st birth and 2nd was a very fast unplanned homebirth. I know lots of this was luck but the natal hypnotherapy gave me more confidence and calm than I had before ( had been terrified by my DMs tales of my and my siblings births !) so for me it was definitely worth it.
It was a distraction a comfort and a useful tool.
I also had the experience of midwife being very surprised I was over 5cm dilated at the hospital arrival point as I was outwardly calm.
It can’t hurt but agree 100% that events in childbirth are unpredictable so keep an open mind !

I’ve been at the births of all of my grandchildren and witnessed a silent hypnobirth when one of them was born. My daughter in law did talk at times between contractions but apart from that it was completely silent. Even the transition and pushing stage. I’ve never seen anything like it despite having 5 children myself as well as 8 grandchildren and I will admit to shaking her thigh a little bit ( a few times) because I thought something was wrong with her.

When the baby was delivered the male obstetrician said, ‘that was the perfect birth, that’s the way it should be’ and I wanted to poke him in the eye.

Sorry - I think my DIL watched YouTube or saw a video and she definitely didn’t go to classes.

I did a bit. In the end the marathon running was way more useful but you're a bit late for that! It's similar breathing technique, but more that I know when to listen to my body that I'm struggling and reaching my limit. I got too tired, hungry and dehydrated because the baby was at a bad angle. It meant I asked for pain killers in time and avoided more interventions. It actually ended up not an wall energiebesparing and gives me confidence that next time will be fairly easy (assuming the baby cooperates!)

I did the hypnobirthing course with my first. I’m not into fairy lights and music etc but I really practised the breathing techniques and positive thoughts. It worked great for both of my births in terms of managing the pain, though, like someone above said, no one believed I was in active labour (saying things like ‘you wouldn’t be able to talk’ and ‘you’d be screaming’ 🙄) until I was suddenly pushing.

Not sure delivering in hospital is likely to be massively compatible with hypnobirthing. I had 2 planned homebirths using hypnobirthing, the first in birthing pool, the second was too fast for the pool. My private midwife was familiar with hypnobirthing and advised me not to go to regular childbirth classes. The hypnobirthing coach and book talked about the fear-tension-pain syndrome, importance of language choice around childbirth (such as “pressure” not “pain”) and the inherent difficulties of having a good birthing experience in a stressful environment (hospital). There was always a clarity that we would transfer to hospital if any emergency arose. I was lucky: I fully recognise that.

I found it made a difference the pain with DD2. It also helped me stay calmer which then also helped the pain I think. So I certainly wouldn’t dismiss it as a waste of time.

But equally, be realistic about it - it’s not going to make it pain free or guarantee it will be complication free.

(I mainly focused on the breathing elements, I didn’t have twinkly lights or music, and didn’t talk about surges and pressure. With DD2 I was induced so it was pretty medical)

The language and fear-tension-pain stiff is pretty much the standard NCT line, though. Which I found to be tweely coercive nonsense — in my case it was certainly pain, not ‘pressure’, and I can’t blame a hospital environment because I was at home for an entire weekend, and occasionally crossed the road to be in a little wood. It still felt like being attacked with an axe.

I found the online course by the positive birth company to be more useful
than the book you have read - it’s the same content but it just went in better by video for me, plus I watched the course with my husband so I felt really supported. It changed everything for me. Before hypnobirthing I wanted an epidural in hospital, terrified of being in pain. I ended up planning and having two planned home births without medication and felt like a superwoman both times. Feeling informed about your choices is so empowering. Breathing techniques and positioning really can help you manage contractions. I loved listening to the affirmations at bedtime when I was pregnant, spraying my scented oils to relax- so woo-woo but an easy strategy to try that I think did help me to prepare! Good luck!

I did hypnobirthing for DC1. I was petrified that I was going to “lose it” the second labour started and wanted to feel as prepared as possible. DH and I did a two day in person course and that in itself was a massive
help in making us feel more like a team. We practiced at home together in the lead up to the birth and it felt like a shared practice between us. I can say really honestly that the hypnobirthing techniques hugely helped me in the early stages of labour, I didn’t “lose it” and managed to be an active participant, with DH supporting me. As things ramped up I wasn’t able to actively employ techniques so much but being calm in the earlier stages made it possible for me to roll with things a lot more. At no point did I panic, which I was convinced it do!

I did hypnobirthing and a natural birth with DC1 and had a planned c-section for DC2 (recommended by doctors for other reason). Yes a c-section means that you know the date your baby will be born, but you are not an active participant like you are with a natural birth. So it depends if you have a preference on that. Having had both I’d say they both carry advantages and disadvantages and I’d always advocate for maternal choice. But I just wanted to caution that a c-section isn’t the holy grail of certainty and control that some people seem to think it is.

I gave birth twice. First was a verrrry long labour and BRAIN helped me a lot as another poster said. I am abroad and was on the equivalent of a midwife-led unit with just a midwife and no doctor. I was offered pitocin to accelerate things but declined, and felt super in control - while knowing that if I really needed it the midwife would step in. It was a water birth and I used hypnobirthing for a day and a half I would say! Lots of breathing through the contractions - which were very painful as they were in my back, but for the most part it was the mindset that my body knew what it was doing. As others said, understanding each stage helped a lot. I was just convinced to my core that I could do it and I did it. (There's also no gas and air here, not even a paracetemol!).

The second time I had contractions in my belly which was far more manageable. I also had a preciptious labour and delivered at home (unplanned) and just breathed my way through it. Again, I felt rock solid in my knowledge of what was happening and my belief that I could do it. I know you've said you need control but I agree with another poster that just leaning into your body and believing that your baby knows what to do is what helped me.

I did not use any of the "exercises" like the shoulder press or whatever, but I did have nice smells, music, fairy lights, sunglasses for the first birth, etc.

Having a partner on the same page as you will help enormously!

I gave birth on a bed in a hot and basic London hospital. It worked perfectly well. Because it’s not about lights and music, it’s way more fundamental than that and addresses the body’s response to pain and stress.

I think stuff like this may set you up to feel a failure if it doesn’t happen. Btw it doesn’t mean you’re a failure!
Birth Plans are expected but often things don’t go to plan - I dutifully did my birth plans (as I was told to) but I was very aware as I wrote them that births often don’t go to plan.
I just wanted my babies out as safely and quickly as possible and in a hospital - that was my simple aim.
One was induced (not by my choice - overdue) and 6 hours, the other was 70 minutes and we got to hospital just in time.
Of course I would have liked a candle lit room with soothing music and no pain because I was hypnobirthing …….
I didn’t feel a failure at all.