Scared of pregnancy

[mrsh98]

how did everyone deal with the fear of pregnancy & birth before they’ve even gotten pregnant ?.

its what I really want and so excited but I have such bad bad health anxiety and I overthink everything and I end up making myself so scared with worry.

Most people don’t worry about it to that extent. Have you tried therapy / anxiety medication?

ive had therapy for years for my anxiety but i think it makes it worse that when i hyper fixate on something i overthink it to the point I get overwhelmed. My husband and I haven’t even gotten pregnant yet but i wanted to come on here to get support, we want to try now and I just want to soak it all in and enjoy it all but im worried ill ruin it by overthinking and worrying

Ok, so the therapy isn’t working. Have you tried medication or different types of therapy? You can still take most anxiety medications while pregnant. You’ll also get referred to maternal mental health for additional support.

I would really try to get a handle on it before getting pregnant, just as you would prepare by stopping smoking or taking folic acid. You don’t want to pass it onto your child or burden them with the effects of it.

Thanks

What are you scared about?

I suppose I was scared that I would be sick a lot and I was worried about how I’d handle work whilst feeling crap. The health of the baby also worried me. It is quite an anxious time, but I don’t think I was scared before getting pregnant.

Childbirth is a means to an end.

I started taking Sertraline for anxiety and am still taking it during my second pregnancy. I was very against medication but the Sertraline has made a huge difference and I feel I can properly live life again.

If you’re open to medication then I would recommend.

I’ve had medication before and it never helped and I had some reactions to them, I’m desperate to be a mum but the anxiety is will I be able to cope with all the appointments as someone with such bad health anxiety and things like that and birth too I suppose, I have such a supportive husband but he obviously doesn’t understand as much as a woman and I don’t have a mum or friends to as questions too, I feel like once I was pregnant I’d just get on with it and handle it because it would be actually happening but maybe it’s just the build up to it actually happening

I was very anxious and scared before getting pregnant, even with therapy. I found once I actually got pregnant the decision/ worry part was then out of my hands- it was happening now. This felt terrifying for a few days then it became a new normal. Then it’s just taking each day at a time, trying not to ‘what if’ and doing relaxation and hypnobirthing. For me getting through pregnancy was my biggest achievement because of what a mental battle it was, but I did it and it was worth it. Also don’t worry about passing on anxieties to the baby- if you’re like me and very conscious about that then you make a massive effort to keep everything calm anyway :)

Good luck- if it’s something you want then don’t think too much, just go for it and then if you get pregnant deal with it a day at a time x

That’s actually so helpful thank you so much I really appreciate it 🙏🏻💕 Yh I’ve said to my husband I think it’s the anticipation of it all and if I was pregnant already I’d probably feel better about it but because it’s been this massive build up to start trying I think that’s whats making me start to feel scared and anxious about everything x

Oh dear, you are always going to anxious about something. When you are pregnant you will have thoughts about the baby, when you have the baby you will probably worry about the feeding, when they start to walk .... and so on. Pregnancy is a means to an end: A beautiful crying, vomiting, pooing, weeing, baby who will keep you up at night worrying.

What I am saying is nearly all prospective first time Mums feel the same, not necessarily to the same degree. If being a Mum is what you deep down want just get on with it. If it's not for you don't.

It is what I want, just seeing if anyone else feels the same.

Pregnancy and birth are temporary. Being a parent is permanent. And it's the most difficult thing you'll ever do, being a parent. You need to help your anxiety for if/when you have a child as that's a million times harder than being pregnant or giving birth. Obv amazing but I wish people had been more honest about how hard it is.

Yes I’m aware of that. Think people aren’t reading my post properly, just wondering if people worried before pregnancy.

I didn't worry about either to any extent before pregnancy. I don't suffer from any sort of anxiety and I'm more likely if something is wrong to shrug it off and say sure it'll be fine, when it isn't! The thought of childbirth did seem a bit scary once I was pregnant early on I think that is normal, but the closer I got to birth and more uncomfortable I got I started to think a day in labour to feel normal again isn't so bad! Before I was actually pregnant I can't say I really gave it much thought.

I'd look to get some help with these feelings before you even get pregnant, if you are anxious just at the thought of pregnancy well having a baby to look after will be a whole other ball game!

hey lovely, i completely get it.
I have had 3 miscarriage and 3 ectopics meaning i now need IVF.
Although i really really really want a baby i am so scared of things going wrong again and have developed health anxiety.
I have just started medication and will be starting therapy at the end of the month for my PTSD which has come from my surgery after my ectopic. It caused me to have panic attacks too.
I am worried how i will actually cope when pregnant too.
How i feel atm i am worried i will decline scans and stuff because ive had such traumatic experiences before it would be easier for to decline a scan then say il have one and spend days before being sick in panic and not sleeping with worry.

Is there something that’s triggered your anxiety? x

Is it overthinking though? It’s a dangerous thing to do. Pregnancy and childbirth. Best case scenario, your body will probably never be the same again.

That’s not to mention the other stuff like: career impact, potential post natal depression, it ties you to the father of the child forever, it makes you vulnerable in just about every way imaginable.

Sorry, I know you wanted reassurance but, I prefer not to lie to people. I think it’s an awful idea for any woman to get pregnant. And I think we should be honest about that in this day and age. If there’s anything else you want to do with your life, do that instead and skip the unnecessary risks.

Frankly I think we’ve largely been brainwashed as a society into ignoring the huge risks. I wouldn’t. I like myself so I wouldn’t gamble me for a non existent person. And controversial perhaps but - I’d be dubious of the “love” of any man who would. I wouldn’t risk a hair on the head of someone I cared about for someone who doesn’t currently exist.

As gently as possible, you are tying yourself up in knots about something that hasn't yet happened. You are going to be worse when you do fall pregnant and then become a parent.

You need to find help in whatever capacity to concentrate/worry about what you can control and ignore what you can't.

Pregnancy (for most) is a beautiful and rewarding journey. I would have hated to go through it constantly on edge.

So the problem is she’s actually thinking something through before doing it? Yeah that’s not a problem, it’s called common sense.

Lol beautiful and rewarding journey, my arse.
God why are we still saying this shit to women in 2026?

Hellish, uncomfortable, messy, dangerous and exhausting. To be fair, I suppose there’s a kind of beauty in that, like completing a tough mudder (marathony thing) or something. Some people are into pain in the pursuit of success. Or viewing an ugly messy art painting that has… character.

To each their own.
But let’s not pretend it’s some magical beautiful journey. It’s the biggest risk a woman can ever take. And she needs to think it through and consider every single risk, the sooner the better. We all should.

Speak for yourself but both my pregnancys were plain sailing, theres plenty of us who love being pregnant.

The op clearly has health anxiety, I couldnt imagine going through pregnancy being constantly on edge. But you do you yeah 👌

I wonder if you might have OCD? Traditional therapy doesn’t work for OCD and in fact can make it worse, but you can find therapists specialised in OCD. Having really obsessive thoughts is one form of OCD a lot of people are not aware of

As someone who suffered horrific postpartum anxiety and OCD, and struggled massively with anxiety during pregnancy after my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, I’d really recommend doing what you can to get a handle on things before you’re pregnant x

I have health anxiety in general (like proper spiraly overthinking even outside of anything pregnancy-related), so the idea of being pregnant makes me extra concerned, like it'd just give my brain more to fixate on...
I usally manage to calm myself by following metrics and data, from my Apple watch mostly... as i feel comfort in seeing things are okay. I keep wondering if something wearable, kind of like a oura ring but for my pregnancy, would actually help calm my nerves. Like i could track mine and baby's heart rate, maybe even see the patterns of when she kicks etc.. or maybe this is a bad idea as it would just become one more thing to obsessively check and make it worse. Does anyone know if something like that exists, or has anyone tried anything similar? Not sure if it would help or just feed the anxiety more tbh, but im intrigued.