Face to face or text? Infertility related.

[FinanceHelp]

I’m pregnant with my third, due in February. I’ve had a few miscarriages in the past, so haven’t really announced it yet. Anyway, I have a close friend who is unable to have children (total hysterectomy) and does not have children. This is something that has occurred since my last pregnancy, so wasn’t an issue before. And she did want children, but the choice has been taken away.

if you were (or have been) in her position, would you rather be told in person, or via text? I can see pros and cons to both so I’m very much undecided.

I would appreciate any advice/experience.

Text. It’s putting her on the spot to do it face to face.

Definitely text. It lets her process it in her own time.

Personally I'd also avoid saying anything like "I know this will be hard for you", because it's best to let her process her own feelings rather than have her feel like you're presuming how she must feel.

It's really good that you're looking out for other people's feelings. Some people don't do that, so it's really nice that you do. X

I would send a nice text. Gives her time to absorb the news and react however she feels privately before u see her in person. I think telling her in person would put her on the spot a bit and she may leave quite upset ! It’s nice that you are taking such consideration of over ur news x

When I was going through infertility I would have hated to have to hear and react to this in person. By text is a lot more kind in this type of situation.

Definitely a text. Don’t pre suppose how she will feel. Say you’re pregnant, you still don’t feel you’re out of the woods yet given past losses but starting to feel more confident and wanted to tell her. That’s definitely not a jubilant rubbing in her face

Definitely don’t do it in person. A friend who knew I had had a miscarriage 2 months before and that I was in the middle of IVF literally did a “surprise” announcement by pretending to take a selfie, holding a phone camera in my face on record as she told me 🤦🏻‍♀️. “I wanted to take a photo of THE THREE OF US, the THREE of us” 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Thank you for your advice all. I was leaning more towards texting, so will do that and let her process it in private.

Text.

you are a great friend btw. I just got fb posts or baby scan sent directly to me