Please help. DV

[Honeypot1414]

Please help me. I am at breaking point. I am 8 months pregnant with my first child. Been with my partner 3 years. He went though a horrific phase last winter in which he was violent towards me on multiple occasions. I reported this to the police. He was arrested. He was extremely remorseful and called me every day and night sobbing that he wanted to be a better man.

I found out I was pregnant a few weeks later. We sat down and talked. He pressured me to drop the case and after much hesitation I did. He sold me a dream of a life of the three of us and promised he would go to therapy and anger management. He also vowed he would never lay a finger on me again. I believed him. I so desperately wanted to make the family work.

Fast forward to now, he put his hands on me tonight. I am in absolute bits. Heavily pregnant and already an emotional and physical wreck. Please tell me that the police will still help me? Will the old case be reopened and can I use all of the stuff he did in the past against him as well as this?

I don’t want him anywhere near me or my baby. I was so stupid to believe him. I’m so worried the police will not take It seriously because I dropped the other case which I regret more than anything.

I am so upset I feel like I’m having a panic attack. I have no support and no family help. Please please help. There was a lot more stuff he did on the other case so I need that to be used against him so the police take it seriously. Please help and thank you for reading. I am truly heartbroken

The police will still help you. Returning to violent relationships at least once is the norm, not the exception. It’s part of a very standard pattern for victims that police and services understand. They will take it every bit as seriously — more so now it’s a clear pattern of behaviour from him. We all want to believe people can change. Everything that has already happened will be taken into account. Please call the police and Women’s Aid for advice on creating a safety plan for you and your baby.

Pregnancy is one of the times a woman is at greatest risk of violence from an intimate partner. The police know this too and will take you seriously.

Are you safe now, OP?

I’m so sorry you have had this terrible experience. You are not alone and there are services to support you. Your first priority needs to be getting yourself safe.

Are you safe now?

Please contact the police now if not. This is how to contact 999 if you can’t speak on the phone. https://www.police.uk/contact/how-to-make-a-silent-999-call/

The police will still be helpful and can go forward with an injunction blocking him from calling or seeing you
Call women's aid and refuge and they will help you xxxx
0808 2000
Go somewhere safe away from him
You're so strong and doing the right thing. It's not your fault x

https://womensaid.org.uk/information-support/the-survivors-handbook/

Your local domestic violence service can help too lovely. You can get through this xx they can help you to get somewhere safe and gave a fresh start xx Im so sorey thus happened to you x but you can get away now before anything happens to the baby or you infront of the baby. There are so many people in these services who will care, wont judge and will help you build a new life.

The police will absolutely help you. Call them as soon as you are able to.

can you stay with a friend?

Do you live beat fanily? If be moving if i could before the baby is born.

Please leave this man. My cousin was murdered by her husband last year when she wanted to leave him. She left behind two very young beautiful girls. The most important thing is DO NOT let him know you are planning to leave. Contact the police, make a plan and GO. Make sure he's away etc when you leave and that he's not tracking your phone. Good luck and don't look back

Thanks for all of your responses. I am 100% leaving this narcissist but my question was the original case that I dropped … can it be reopened or at the very least be used in court against him? Because him raising his hand to me once last night is absolutely nothing compared to what he has done with the case that has been dropped and I want him to be trialed for all of it (if it gets that far)

thank you

Shameless bump :(

Another bump :(

I don’t know about the legal side of things, just wishing you love and support (and hoping to bump for you)

Have you phoned the police?

Nobody can really answer apart from the police. Please call them and report this, you need to be safe. They will take it seriously because of your other report even if you dropped the case.

nobody can tell you for sure if they can prosecute him for previous things but please don’t let that deter you from what you need to do now, which is to get yourself and your baby safe. Please tell the police now about what happened yesterday. They will help with what to do next.

Have you seen the link above for women’s aid? Please contact them and police if you haven’t done so already.

It’s hard to say what can and can’t be used but if you haven’t already speak to the police. They will be able to discuss with CPS what is and isn’t admissible in evidence.

So sorry to read this. Are you safe tonight? Is he at home with you? Where is he now?

You need to speak and report to the Police. They will advise on your original case and whether this can be picked up again. Also please call Women’s Aid. You need to be safe so please call the police or women’s aid asap x

Any past behaviour involving the police, including charges that were dropped, would absolutely be considered when obtaining an injunction. The law relating to domestic violence is complicated and involves both criminal and civil aspects. Women’s Aid will be best placed to help you with this information. Please call them as soon as you can, they will help you work through the steps to make yourself safer.

How are you today, OP?
Have been thinking of you.