People commenting on weight, when pregnant, good come back lines 😂 that won’t get me sacked.

[catsflorafauna]

I’m 20 weeks pregnant and very happy. Morning sickness gone and insomnia getting better, body settling into ‘new normal’ after always being quite slim in active job. First baby.

I bumped into a colleague, who is a nice guy and I get on well with, I haven’t seen him since being pregnant and he kind of looked aghast and said ‘I just can’t believe how much weight you’ve put on’. I replied at the time, abit stunned, ‘yes that’s what happens’.
I told my husband and we both laughed and initially I wasn’t bothered and thought what an idiot but I have now asked my husband about 6 times since last night if he thinks I’m fat 😂 so it is obviously bothering me subconsciously.

I’m well and baby is well. I’ve put on 14 lbs which the midwife hasn’t said anything about and I don’t feel out of proportion. Eating normal healthy foods and portions now post 12 weeks after struggling with only being able to stomach bland carbs during morning sickness.

Please can anyone share similar experiences and what whitty comebacks you had to nip it in the bud!?

I might lose the weight once the baby arrives but unfortunately you’ll always be a dick*

*Insert insult of choice here

I would report him to HR, that is completely inappropriate. I never had to come up with comebacks because no one I know would dare comment on my body, let alone a colleague.

“Your mouth apparently remains even bigger than I’ve got” ? Or just pick something else about his personal appearance. What a dick he is! I had something similar working in a very male dominated industry and someone said about me being fat when I was pregnant, in front of everyone. Somehow I managed to come out with “well in a few months I’ll likely go back to being slim, you however will still be old fat and ugly”, how I didn’t get the sack I’ll never know.

I think your response was pretty good @catsflorafauna, it is what happens when growing another human!
Maybe say it with a tone that implies the comment was really stupid, or an eye roll?

I was going to ask if he knows that you are pregnant, but really that makes no difference.

I would just use the MN classic response of 'did you mean to be so rude?'

That’s what growing a human does to you. Maybe you should try it…..

Yeah I don’t think a jokey comeback is whats required here, you want an apology and for him to not be so fucking rude!

Its simple but the easiest comeback whenever somebody says something inappropriate or you're not sure how to respond to is just to ask them to repeat it. "Sorry, what did you say?"

Either this forces them to actually engage brain and think, which should lead to them realising it was inappropriate and apologising, or if they do double down they've dropped themselves in it and cant then claim "it was a silly comment, I didn't realise how it sounded" etc.

If they do repeat it, something like "wow I cant believe you actually said that" or "thats incredibly rude" or "do you really think thats an appropriate thing to say?" should make it clear. Thing is we are conditioned as women to not make a scene or make someone feel bad, but he SHOULD feel awkward and embarrassed in this case because he was rude to you.

"Not fat - just growing a baby - or couldn't you tell?"

I never engage in discussions about mine or others weight - I just look blank/smile benignly/shrug and move on. Having been raised by a family of women screwed over by the diet culture of 70s-90s and seen a dear friend through an eating disorder it's just not a topic of conversation I will tolerate.

I wouldn't bother being witty and just simply say 'wow, that's rude' or 'you know it's not ok to comment on other peoples bodies'.

I'm 29 weeks and I've been told I'm massive, tiny, cute bump, all baby etc. People are just looking for something to say and unfortunately it can be a bit offensive. Some people hate being told they've got a small bump too. I just go with it, tell them I feel massive or like a whale, they'll likely tell me I'm not haha.

A client told me “oh you’re getting bigger and bigger” and (most unlike myself) responded immediately with “well if I was getting smaller and smaller the drs would be worried”. What a fool.

Easiest to just state factually "I don't think personal remarks like that are appropriate" or "I'm not ok with remarks like that".

You don't have to be funny, or witty, or clever, or worry at all if they feel uncomfortable. They are out of line.

This is a really good point, there is a very good chance he didn’t know. I keep to myself and don’t have insta/facebook/no gender reveal so no ‘announcement’.

The conversation was ‘oh hello how are you blah blah, not seen you in a while’
’yes blah blah, I’m pregnant that’s why’ (different duties don’t see colleagues regularly)
‘I can’t believe how much…’

I do like the did you mean to be so rude/Im surprised you feel comfortable saying that.

Thank you!

This every time.

Im a small person and every single pregnancy, random people, family and friends felt the need to comment on my weight.

I literally would ignore the comments whilst looking at them!

Thank you everyone for the responses. I do feel assured knowing it’s happened to other people no matter what size bump you have! I guess humans can be awkward by nature and just say stupid stuff. But going forward I will definitely speak more firmly, if it happens again.

This colleague is genuinely a lovely guy, English isn’t his first language which is also another reason I didn’t take it seriously at the time and it wasn’t said with malice. There is also a good chance he didn’t know and what I took for aghast was actually bewildered at the change at my appearance in a short time (still not okay obviously but makes abit more sense to me with his not thought out comment).

I have no come back advice but someone at work once said to me "your much bigger from the back since youve been pregnant" and followed it up with "I like it"

I have no come back advice but someone at work once said to me "your much bigger from the back since youve been pregnant" and followed it up with "I like it"

Even if he didn't know you are pregnant that's bloody rude!!

'did you mean to say that out loud?'

Or 'speak for yourself'

Would be my options