Six weeks pregnant and unsure whether to continue the pregnancy

[SparklyPeachOP]

Hello,
I wanted to make a post to get some opinions and suggestions from other people that don’t have a bias opinion towards the situation. Thank you in advance for reading and helping me through this process if you feel comfortable to do so. I would really appreciate any comments and feedback.

Background information: I’m 25 year old, female, 6 weeks pregnant and didn’t expect to get pregnant. My boyfriend and I have been together almost 5 years. We are planning on getting married, moving out and having kids just didn’t think it would happen before we got married or lived together.

Current situation: I found out I was pregnant at 3 1/2 weeks, the abortion clinic said I couldn’t get the abortion till 6 weeks and their first available appointment was at 7 weeks. Today is Thursday and my appointment is Tuesday (5 days away). I have been having second thoughts and going back and forth on this decision since I found out. I made the appointment just to have the option if I need. My boyfriend and Parents are very supportive and have been trying to help me through this process. I keep going back and forth on my decisions and I think I need some outside advice/perceptive.

Keep the baby:

• Not in my plan (Marriage, move out, baby)
• Still living at home (good and bad, can get support from my family but doesn’t feel how I wanted it to be)
• Can my partner and I financially support a baby well in school and working part time jobs
• I’m scared for the body changes the pregnancy has
• What others with think about me and the stigma around it
• I have been feeling behind in life due to economy and education length (I want to go to med school)
• I know you can never regret having a baby, but will I look back in 5-7 years and wish I had waited
• Will my boyfriend resent me for making this decision that does change our life forever
• Not being able to travel and live life with a kid
• The last 6 weeks have not been the best for me, I’m on AGAD medication and I feel that they are not working. I don’t feel like myself, very unfocused, mean, aggressive, don’t have a filter, have really high high and really low lows. Can I do that for another 7 months well in school.

Terminating the pregnancy:

• I fear my mental heath is going to take a really hard hit as I have a history of mental health struggles
• I fear I will regret my decision and dwell on the decision I made
• If I terminate then I can continue on with my life’s plan and the road I want to take.
• I’m scared for the medical procedure (medicine) and the side effects it will have on my body
• Can I live with myself after doing it?
• If I don’t keep it and wait for a better time when we’re both done school and financially stable I will be to old to have kids or being told I will have trouble having kids because of my age
• Will I be able to continue school that I need to get done by October 1, will the abortion effect me to the point that I can’t function normally for a few weeks.

I know this all seems like extreme what ifs and fears that might not even be something that should be on my mind but I dwell, overthink, over analyze everything little thing. I don’t want to make this choice but I know I have to as there is a time limit. Thank you for your help!

Why would there be stigma? It doesn’t sound like you want to have a baby, and not having your own home isn’t a great position to have a baby, especially as you don’t have a full time job.

It makes no sense to avoid abortion because you are worried about the process, pregnancy and birth is far more invasive. Speak to the clinics counsellors, it’s a big decision and it’s good to discuss it

Hello lovely, firstly all of the above are reasonable concerns. A baby is a big decision that will affect the rest of your life.
Only you can make the decision that is right for you and your own personal circumstance but I would definitely recommend speaking with a close friend that you trust that you can chat this through with.

Speaking from experience, I had a termination at the same age as you as it was the right decision for me at the time, the process was easy and I was told that it would not affect my ability to have children in the future (this I can confirm). Recovery was very easy too as I was early like you are so with the right support around you this wouldn’t be more than a few days. There are potential regrets with any big decision however the regret of not having a child was the better option for me than the regret of having one.

I hope that helps and feel free to message me directly if you need to.

I hope you find peace in the right decision for you :)

I had a medical abortion last week. I already have two young children and I was 6 weeks and 5 days when I terminated. they would have been 7 weeks when I passed them. I passed a yoke sack and it was identifiable compared to the other clots. I have since buried it. I don’t feel like the abortion care on an emotional level is even close to where it should be. You need people around you to carry you through.

I am in tune with my body and surroundings. I’m the sort of person who talks to animals and I like to stand on grass in my bare feet. I feel things strongly.
The key things I wish I had realised before I did it

• it’s not an undo button. You can’t just go back to where you were before you got pregnant. Maybe some people do. I think I’ll carry this with me for the rest of my life. But it’s not just regret. It’s relief and regret. So that’s the same whether they are born or aborted.
• the physical side of an abortion is the easy bit. The spiritual and emotional side of it- I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. I honestly feel like the spirit of death is with me now. Yes I am relieved, but my womb, which I think has a whole energy of its own, is dark and heavy. Spiritually this is horrifying. But I think this can be dealt with through prayer, rituals and just time grieving.
• People have different reactions to an abortion. Some women just feel relief. I wish I was one of them.

It is never a good time to have a baby. If you write a list at any point in your life, you’ll never find a time where it would be convenient to have a baby. Sometimes it might be a little less inconvenient. If you are not ready to be a mother then that is a good reason to not be one. You don’t actually need a “good reason”, just not wanting a baby is a perfectly fine reason for some women too. There is no right answer sometimes. That’s what it’s like being a parent by the way, things can be two opposing things at the same time.

oh it’s so hard. I will say I don’t feel pregnant anymore and I can think straight again. Already having children is what led me down this path but I’m so glad I do because they are carrying me through this horrible period too.

you are in my prayers. Whatever you decide, you are going to get through it. Xxx