How do you keep going when TTC is breaking your heart?

[Seeseemcdee]

I’m not really sure what I’m looking for by posting this, maybe just a bit of support from people who understand.
I’m 13 DPO today and got a negative test this evening. I know logically that 13dpo is still early and that it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m out, but I’ve had four chemical pregnancies this year and I’m just finding the whole thing incredibly hard emotionally.
Every month I try to stay hopeful, track ovulation, wait to test, analyse everything, and then I’m terrified of either seeing nothing or seeing another faint line that might disappear. I’ve had faint positives at 13dpo before, so seeing a completely negative test today has really knocked me, even though I know every cycle can be different.
I desperately want another baby and I’m just exhausted by how much of my headspace TTC is taking up. I don’t really need anyone to tell me whether I’m pregnant or out this month — I think I just need to hear from other women who have been through repeated chemicals/TTC and understand how emotionally draining it becomes.
How do you keep going and keep some hope without letting every test completely consume you?

After my first baby, I could have written this. It took years of chemical pregnancies and loss and utter heartbreak. And people found it difficult to understand why it was so hard if I already had a baby so there was very little support. It was a lonely and confusing time and it put me in a really bad place mentally. In the end I gave up and decided to move on as I couldn’t cope with the constant disappointment. And as the cliche stories go, I ended up pregnant and now have an amazing little boy. Just hold on to hope and try to find other things to distract you from it all. It’s easier said than done. Good luck OP.

Thank you so much for this and congratulations on your little boy! I really hope that happens for me! I will continue to hope and definitely need to distract myself and think about other things!

TTC was one of the most difficult and heartbreaking times of my life . So much so that even though I’m now pregnant - I am so anxious of loss because I don’t want to go back to that place again . So I understand you and I see you. It’s such a hard and lonely place to be - I’d probably even hate hearing from a pregnant person like I’m doing now because I was so bitter, but on the off chance you can feel less alone, I’ll continue .

it’s heartbreaking and it’s so easy for others to say ‘you’ll get there’ and you very well might and hopefully soon . But in the meantime , one thing I found after years of trying and heartbreak (and I wonder if it actually helped me get pregnant ) was I had to let it go a bit . Which is so easier said than done as if still try and hope every month. But each month I would start putting less weight on it and just focusing more on finding … even 10 mins of joy.. a day. It’s so hard - it takes practice ❤️