Unplanned Pregnancy at 37…

[Abs014]

I’ve just found out I’m expecting again. Completely unplanned, an absolute shock, and I’m honestly petrified! I’m two years older this time around and creeping closer to 40.

I found my last pregnancy (2023-2024) really hard, and I was incredibly lucky that my job at the time was very slow-paced, which made things a lot easier. This time around, work is full-on, so I’m already wondering how on earth I’m going to juggle everything.

We also still haven’t mastered potty training, and sleep is very much hit and miss, so throwing a newborn into the mix feels like it could tip me over the edge!

And then there’s the biggest practical worry… space! We just don’t have much of it. Our daughters room is tiny, and currently all that fits in there is her full-size single floor bed, chest of drawers and beanbag. There’s genuinely no room for another cot, so I’m panicking a little about how we’re going to make it all work!

I’m also usually really in tune with my cycle (or at least I thought I was after all these years!) and the chances of conceiving at the time should have been minimal. I would have had to ovulate almost a week earlier than I normally do, so the fact that this has happened feels a bit like it was meant to be. I really do believe everything happens for a reason.

Our daughter will be 3 by the time this little one arrives, so I’d love to hear from anyone who has had a similar age gap. How did you find it? Did you manage with the space you had, especially if the bedrooms were small?

Also, my tests are VERY dark already and I roughly think I’m only 13DPO!

I’m feeling a bit lost at the moment, so any reassurance, advice or experiences would be very welcome!

Congratulations! It probably does feel scary but you can always make things work - bunk beds etc. Two years apart will be fine - very common around here. And you'll be fine too, although probably more knackered cos you already have an older one!

Congratulations! My second was unplanned - I’d been tracking cycles and it had taken me nearly a year to get pregnant with my first so wasn’t expecting it at all. We always knew we wanted two but youngest had only just turned one, we lived in a 2 bed house, first pregnancy and mat leave had been over Covid so I’d been working from home and then all of a sudden I was back in the office and had no idea how I was going to keep the plates spinning!

I don’t want to sound all blase but if you want a second it really does all work out. We moved to our 3 bed when DC2 was 4m but honestly he was a dreadful sleeper so in with us until he was nearly a year - so you could easily have 2 years from now to work out the space situation.

It’s a rollercoaster but honestly you will be ok! Potty training will get there, it sounds like your DC is only 2 so don’t worry, they’ll crack it. I worried a lot about that with DC1 but second time around I just let DC2 lead it and one day it clicked when he’d just turned 3.

Be kind to yourself, it’s a huge shock (tears were shed when I found out!) - in a few days you’ll get your head around it. Have you told DH/DP?

I had a 22 month age gap. It was great. They are teens now and the gap still works perfectly. I know people with bigger gaps who have struggled due to wildly different interests and needs. They even attended a number of classes together, such as music and forest school. Swimming lessons often fell back to back.

you will need childcare for the toddler while you are in labour and in the hospital after.

I don't have any experience to share as I am TTC my first but it sounds like you are overall feeling positive about the pregnancy and just trying to work out the practicalities. Would the bedroom fit a bunk bed? I guess long term it may be that you need to move/get more space but I imagine in the short term it should be somewhat manageable. And congratulations!

Thank you so much for the replies already! Little trigger warning for the last paragraph.

Unfortunately moving isn’t an option. We moved into the current house the month I gave birth!

Would my 2YO be ready for a bunked by 3? I’m not so sure? She has the most beautiful Montessori floor bed at the moment and she settled into it so well. It’s also a full single so we often get in with her to help settle her some nights.

My eldest is 17 so I didn’t have to worry about this the first time round!

How are the nights? Do toddlers get use to the night disturbances? It’s a small property and she is right next door to us so I’m worried about being up all night setting the baby then the toddler and bouncing between the two!

Trigger warning:

I think I’d be a high risk pregnancy as well. I’m 37, had pre eclampsia last time, my daughter spent her first month in NICU for neonatal hypoglycaemia along with other issues. And with my first born I had severe PPH resulting in surgery and weeks of transfusion's after too. It’s all a lot to consider. Phew…it’s overwhelming!