42 | Mumsnet

ForFastBlueTraybake · 2026-08-07T11:08:46+00:00

42 thought I was in perimenopause and was having a breast cyst investigated at the hospital and I found out i’m pregnant. I have a 28 year-old and 19-year-old and two grandchildren age 7 and five has anyone else had such big age gaps between their children 20 years and starting again? I’m shocked I’m scared and anxious and I’m undecided. I’m a fit and healthy 42 year-old and run around with the grandkids like I did with my own kids and far better than their own parents do but…

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ToKittyornottoKitty · 07/08/2026 12:13

Do you want another baby Op? How far along are you? A baby at 14 must have been incredibly tough, it’s ok if you don’t want to go through all that again just as you are really starting to gain your independence for the first time. Going ahead with the pregnancy could be amazing and lovely for your family. But when my mum fell pregnant again when I was 13 she was a bit gutted she wouldn’t get those children years for so much longer, and that’s a perfectly valid way to feel too. Do you have a partner?

MabelAnderson · 07/08/2026 12:16

I got pregnant with my second at 42, born when I was 43.
I like having a teenager now, it’s really nice being older but having teens. Obviously babies are shattering but that’s true at any age really.

Original poster

ForFastBlueTraybake · 07/08/2026 12:22

I did want another baby, but it didn’t happen! I have an amazing husband who I’ve been with for 20 years we are absolutely solid but we were looking forward to our freedom. It was hard being pregnant at 14 and having a child but also amazing and then my son when I was 23 he’s an awesome dude at 19 now. I’ve already brought up two children in completely different ways and thought about things that I would’ve done differently if I had another chance with a child, but this is freaking crazy 🙈

OP posts:

Original poster

ForFastBlueTraybake · 07/08/2026 12:23

ToKittyornottoKitty · 07/08/2026 12:13

Do you want another baby Op? How far along are you? A baby at 14 must have been incredibly tough, it’s ok if you don’t want to go through all that again just as you are really starting to gain your independence for the first time. Going ahead with the pregnancy could be amazing and lovely for your family. But when my mum fell pregnant again when I was 13 she was a bit gutted she wouldn’t get those children years for so much longer, and that’s a perfectly valid way to feel too. Do you have a partner?

I did want another baby, but it didn’t happen! I have an amazing husband who I’ve been with for 20 years we are absolutely solid but we were looking forward to our freedom. It was hard being pregnant at 14 and having a child but also amazing and then my son when I was 23 he’s an awesome dude at 19 now. I’ve already brought up two children in completely different ways and thought about things that I would’ve done differently if I had another chance with a child, but this is freaking crazy 🙈

OP posts:

ToKittyornottoKitty · 07/08/2026 12:23

Sounds like you can absolutely enjoy a baby then if it’s what you want! Have you told any family yet?

7238SM · 07/08/2026 12:34

Not me, but a cousin had a 2nd at age 43 with a 20yr gap between her first. It was her 2nd marriage and planned- although they didn't think it would work.

Cousin is now also a grandparent and the 2nd child is 11. I feel sad for him because he is essentially an only child and gets dragged around to alot of adult things such as BBQ's with no children remotely his age and other events where he sits in the corner on his tablet. I also feel some resentment that they have a child that age and can't enjoy as much travelling and finer things. Cousin is now 55 and the son only starts secondary in Sep, so there is a long way to go for them.

Write a list of the pros and cons. Start taking folic acid and if you do continue, look into having the NIPT done x