DH Gender Disappointment

[SaltandPepper22]

Pregnant with our first baby and we’ve just found out we are having a girl 🩷

DH has just told me he’s feeling a bit disappointed and is grieving the idea of having a son (this is likely to be our only child). He’s not one of those horrible men you see on the gender reveal tik toks, he’s just quietly contemplative about it.

It’s taken him by surprise - he didn’t realise until he found out it was a girl that he had a strong preference. He says the world is an easier place for boys and you have to worry more about girls - he says that boys you worry that they will hurt themselves or someone else; girls you worry someone else will hurt them.

It’s taken the shine off a little bit but at the same time I wanted a baby girl and have been actively trying to imagine having a boy to avoid feeling the exact same thing so I can hardly criticise him when it could have been the reverse.

He’ll be fine, honestly. Let him have his feelings, when he meets her he won’t be able to imagine it any other way. Congratulations on your baby girl x

Thank you. I think he probably will. I told him it’s really common for men to be disappointed with girls and women to be disappointed with boys. The funny thing is we have had a girl name picked out for over a year but had no boy names at all!

I was disappointed when I found out both my boys were boys, I had always imagined having a daughter as well as a son. Obviously, now they are here I wouldn’t swap them for the world. It’s completely normal to quietly feel it and accept it and move on. He will adore your little girl when she arrives

I'm not sure it's as linear as you state, DH wanted a girl. but I think his fears are probably quite typical. he worries more about protecting a daughter from men. sho can blame him. but hell5fall in love with her just the same, as would you have done if it was a boy

Totally normal. I think a lot of men do imagine having a son. Why did you find out in advance?

We’re both impatient and like knowing things.

Oh 100% he’s going to be fine even if he doesn’t realise it yet. His reasoning for wanting a boy show a level of depth that will make him a perfect father for a girl.
When she’s here he’ll look back and not even be able to remember these feelings he’s having right now.
My DH wanted girls. We had a girl first and he was thrilled as he always saw himself as a girl dad, so when we found out number 2 was a boy he was slightly disappointed. Son is 11 months now and he literally says to me everyday that he doesn’t know what he was thinking as he couldn’t imagine DS not being DS, and DD (total daddy’s girl) having to share him with another girl wouldn’t have gone well we see now!

Why are men always gender disappointed when it's a girl

Mine was disappointed when our youngest was another boy, but 4 in a row meant he wanted a girl.

So that her DH’s first emotion on seeing his actual child isn’t disappointment?

So many women on here are disappointed with a boy. Its the same thing.

Congratulations! He’ll be besotted when she arrives. 💐💕

My DH really wanted a girl but when our son was born, it was love at first sight and it’s easy to see our son is his favourite person in the world.
Your DH will get over it, if not soon, certainly when the baby arrives.

I have 3 DDS and I wouldn't have it any other way, but I'll admit I had a little pang when I realised I'd never have a boy. I reckon he'll get over it x

My DH had this a little bit, no disappointment about a baby at all but just a slight disappointment about having a girl rather than a boy. He’s now the proud girl dad of two girls and absolutely revels in it. I would have liked a boy myself, but both our girls were very hard come by and there will be no more children. He will absolutely be ok :)

Let him process. The moment he holds his little girl all 'disappointment' will be gone.

And women disappointed when it’s a boy.
(I know 4 women who were)

My husband was a little disappointed that my 20 week scan revealed a boy. They are like 2 peas in a pod and DH has been completely devoted to him since our now 15yo was born.

Pull yourself together both of you. Grief? I don't think so.

Rude and unnecessary - everyone else has responded very compassionately to what are very common and real feelings