Dreading telling work about pregnancy

[Hopefulmama21]

Hey everyone, I'm 9 weeks pregnant with my third child slowly approaching my 12 week scan and really starting to dread telling my work that I'm expecting.

My role is quite senior, I manage a team and my own line manager is male and childfree by choice and I know he won't be pleased by the news.

Does anyone else feel this way, or have any advice on how to approach telling him/the business?

I feel like I'm going to keep putting it off until the last minute which seems unfair as they'd have less time to plan for my absence.

Don’t be scared, be confident! Simply tell your line manager you are delighted to be having a third child, and look forward to meeting and mentoring the candidates who will be covering your maternity leave.

Tell them sooner and point it out they have longer to recruit a cover . And it doesn’t matter what your manager thinks. You are entitled to maternity leave and returning to a job after.

Come on. You’ve done this twice before… are you about to drip feed that you’re still on mat leave for your second baby?

@Hopefulmama21 for what it’s worth…I’m in exactly the same boat as you. I’m so excited but absolutely dreading telling work, too. There are lots of redundancies going on at my place plus a re-org of the structure.

I know on paper that pregnant people appear to have protections…but I’m not the sure the reality is that safe. In theory I’m worrying about being a “sunk cost” for them not working whilst on enhanced mat pay for 6 months (but then on statutory thereafter). Before you ask…yes, they are that cut throat. It’s brutal!

Unsure what to do beyond keeping my nose clean and doing my best until & after I do tell them. Planning to do that after my 12 week scan if it helps!

@Peonies12 @Lexy2345 thank you, I'll definitely try my best to be confident but it's just going to be such an awkward conversation.

@IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads my youngest is almost 4, and I worked somewhere different during my pregnancy and mat leave. I've been here for about 2.5 years.

@greenshirt06 this is a worry of mine too, I know I'm a valued member of the team but we have had huge changes recently and with our growth I expect more in the next 2 years and I worry that I'll lose my place if I'm off.

Could you take a shorter mat leave?

Congratulations!!

You're bringing into the world and bringing up the people that will pay your manager's pension - if he has any sense he will be grateful.

Try to give less of a shit.

Both my and my DP (childless) are facing redundancy consultations atm. Kindly, you are entirely replaceable regardless of what happens and so don’t stop living your life and finding joy with children because of your job.

As a manager, I’ve never been upset when a team member has taken mat leave. I have had 2 mat leaves myself, and I have always been well treated. I think you’ll just have to bit the bullet and do it. Maybe do it on a Friday afternoon so your manager has the weekend to process it.

I felt the same, mainly because I fell pregnant before I had returned from my first mat leave haha! But once you've told your work it will be such a relief and I imagine the response will be better better than you imagine. Good luck and congratulations on your baby ❤️

love, if it wasn’t for women having babies, the human race wouldn’t exist. We would die out, the survival of the species depends upon us. Recognise that. Stride in there as the absolute matriarch you are.

Thank you everyone for the words of advice and encouragement, I think I will tell them sometime between 12 and 16 weeks and lead the conversation with confidence 🤞🏻

What a stupid thing to say

He doesn't have to like it or approve of it. All he needs is to behave professionally. That's his issue, not yours. Congratulations on the pregnancy.