Corporate women - how would you handle this??

[CasualOverthinker]

I’m interested in hearing how others would approach this, particularly anyone who’s worked in corporate.

I’ve been pushing for an expanded role for a while now - better title, better pay, and more interesting responsibilities. I’ve been in essentially the same role for a number of years and I’m definitely starting to feel a bit stagnant.

My manager and her manager are both advocating for me, which is hugely encouraging. That said, if you’ve worked in a large corporate, you’ll know that nothing is real until it’s signed off. Similar opportunities have been hinted at in the past and never actually materialised, so I’m cautiously optimistic rather than counting my chickens.

At almost exactly the same time all of this was gathering momentum, my husband and I decided to start trying for baby number two. We’re in our mid-30s and assumed it might take a while. Instead, we got incredibly lucky and I’m now just under five weeks pregnant. It’s very early days and work, understandably, has absolutely no idea.

Nothing is official with the role yet, but they’re already talking to me about travel next year, budgeting for multiple trips to Asia, and longer-term plans. Meanwhile, I’m sitting here thinking that, all being well, the only trip I really want to be taking next spring is to the maternity ward. 😁🙃

Assuming everything goes to plan, I’d intend to take around 12 months’ maternity leave.
So now I’m feeling surprisingly conflicted. On one hand, I’m actively pursuing a role that I genuinely believe I’ve earned and deserve, regardless of the timing. On the other, I feel slightly dishonest knowing that, hopefully, I’d be stepping away on maternity leave not long afterwards.

Would you:

• Keep quiet until you’re ready to announce the pregnancy and continue pursuing the opportunity?
• Tell them earlier than you otherwise would, so they can factor it into their planning?
• Or take your foot off the gas with the promotion altogether?

I’m curious how others would navigate it, both from an employee’s perspective and from a manager’s perspective. 👀

Keep quiet about pregnancy.

I’d keep quiet until I am ready to announce the pregnancy to my employer. Obviously I wish you the best of luck, but as we know pregnancy isn’t a done deal. Additionally if you tell them I think they will stop bothering with your promotion. You can always says the pregnancy was a surprise - kind of true - to explain why you didn’t say earlier.

It depends - what is the culture like in your place?

Keep quiet until at least 12 weeks. You are under no obligation to tell them and run the risk that they will at best make assumptions and at worst, write you off professionally.

The first option.

Keep quiet about the pregnancy for now. Don't tell them until you absolutely need to.

Keep quiet until you've at least had a scan. I don't think there's a right option though as will vary massively from place to place and manager to manager.

Keep quiet and take the promotion if they offer it. I'm a manager also, and that's what I'd want one of my team to do. I can deal with managing mat leave cover - I can't do anything when 'she's pregnant' goes up the chain and the promotion mysteriously vanishes. You need to look out for number one, big corporates have no hesitation in looking out for their interests.

Just been through a similar situation myself. Personally I wouldn't tell them any earlier than you otherwise might have (and might even keep quiet longer than you would have if you think the promotion will crystallise soon).

Mmmkay, so we’re all in agreement, that I keep my happy news to myself until I want to or am required to share. And we’re not feeling like I’m being sneaky still pursuing the work opportunity? Got it!! 🫡

Not sneaky at all - but if they are starting to fill in the details of your new role and make plans for meetings and travel etc then I think it's right to tell them after your first scan so they can adjust around your revised start date.

Oh - congratulations for both btw! 💐

Keep quiet.

Just putting it out there.... is this something you will want to do after your second comes along? Will you still want the trips to Asia, etc.?

I wouldn't tell them until you are obliged to either practically or legally.

You keep quiet until you are obliged to hand over your MatB1 certificate which is 25th week of your pregancy. No one but you needs to know.

100% keep quiet about the pregnancy.

I’m keeping my engagement and marriage a secret at work. I literally cosplay as a Single Woman.

(I work in a male dominated field and I’m on a visa - I’ll be fucking damned if I’m giving them reasons to hold me back / pay me less / let me go.)

I mean, i make it sound like i’ll be jetting to Asia all the time lol, but realistically we’re talking one trip a year. So, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Being on a work trip 1 week out of 52…fine.

I’m more so…stressing because multiple people are advocating for how I deserve the opportunity (which I do), but are now factoring trips into budgets and asking me to pencil in some dates for next year and I feel sneaky that I know I’ll be out of the business for 9-12 months…and they don’t. 😬

@CasualOverthinker You need to stop thinking about the business and start thinking about you. How often have you been passed over, told to wait because it will happen... if you were a man, you would say, Damn it, I deserve it and I can and will have it all!

Absolutely this
you might not even fall pregnant immediately anyway!

@LatteLady YES!!! THIS!!! Idk why I have some misplaced guilty conscience/ misplaced sense of loyalty. In reality I know if I was to leave my job will be up on the job boards within a week. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Besidemyselfwithworry yeah, about that, that shipped has sailed 🤰🏻😁

@CasualOverthinker congratulations

I think tho just see what happens but if you do have a small baby is intentional corporate travel really going to work? I’m guessing if you are very senior, earn loads, have a nanny, or a great supportive family all ready to look after your baby then great 👍 if not this could be problematic.

Hun, I’d keep quiet and continue to go for the promotion! I’m in a vv similar position to you. I’ve just found out I’m 5w pregnant, and I’ve just put an application in for a senior role. In my mind, I deserve it, and I can easily carry out the role + additional responsibilities while pregnant (it’s fully remote). Remember, maternity cover exists and they’ll be able to find someone for a fixed term contract until you return. It’s a staffing issue, not a you problem, and don’t feel guilty as you deserve to expand your family.

I had to declare my pregnancy early as my boss was looking to second me to a client who we were having problems with, the role had become a bit of a revolving door for a number of non job related reasons. It was a really important client so I didn’t feel I could put them in that position. I had a quiet word and the suggestion was dropped, but I can also pinpoint that as the time when my career took a nosedive.

Keep quiet. Lots of people don't even realise they are pregnant this early, plus (sorry to be negative) you don't want to mess up your chances of a promotion at such an early stage. If all is well at 12 weeks (I really hope so) then you can tell them and hopefully promotion all secured by then. Then it can be worked around. It won't be the first time it's happened.

When i conceived my youngest i had started some pay negotiations at work as I felt there was good reason for me to go up a band. It was tough going. Then I found out i was pregnant, had been trying for ages and had had miscarriages so I kept quiet but by 12 weeks all was well. My line manager called me in for a meeting and said the board had provisionally approved and should confirm in another 4 weeks. I suddenly felt terribly guilty and blurted out "I'm pregnant". She (a working mother herself) said in no uncertain terms to keep it to myself until my pay was signed off. I did and was grateful for the advice. No regrets!

100% keep quiet about the pregnancy. A sensible thing within the first trimester whatever the work circumstances.