So many worries about third child

[AlwaysWorried100]

I suppose I am looking for some reassurance.

I always wanted 3 children but started later than I would have liked due to not meeting my husband and Covid.

I had my first aged 35 and second aged 36. I panicked a bit about now being 38 and have become pregnant quicker than I thougt I would.

I now feel really scared.

Worried I have ruined my older children’s childhoods as so many things will be more difficult. They are still little and need me. I am worried about finances. I have a good job but two maternity leaves close together has reduced my earnings already. I manage okay when working just the mat pay is very little.

My work will be so annoyed me and I’m worried I will lose friends. They are so short staffed due to people resigning.

it is all my own fault. I can’t talk to anyone as it’s so early on. Did anyone else feel like this and it worked out?

I had lots of miscarriages previously so it may not work out. I know I am lucky if it does.

It’s not all your own fault, someone obviously got you pregnant, is he there to help with the financial burden and raising the kids? I think this fear can be normal, it’s a huge change, and hopefully it will even out with time. My advice is forget about your colleagues feelings in this, if you left tomorrow they’d have adapted within a week, everyone is replaceable at work, you owe them nothing.

Your older kids won’t really know any different, they just need loving parents who have time for them and I’m sure you can make that work. Try and talk to your partner if you have one, he might be feeling the same. You’ve done nothing wrong though, there’s nothing to feel guilty about. I hope it all works out for you 💐

Thanks. I am married and he does help. He compresses his hours so has a day on his own with them while I work. He’s not great at housework but I think probably no worse than many men.

Don’t panic! Easier said than done, I know.

I felt like you do when I became pregnant with my (planned and wanted!) third. I hated telling people for fear of judgement, especially at work. I wondered if I’d lost my mind. Lots of other people openly wondered the same thing…

Anyway. “The baby” is now two. He’s divine. The older two are also divine and they adore him. 22m gaps between each child. I’m so pleased to have three.

Work were a bit shocked when they found out but they got over it, and now it feels like I was never away.

Sending love.

Thank you, that gives me hope! those gaps would be very similar to mine. I haven’t met many people with three close together. Although there are many women at my work, there isn’t a lot of understanding about maternity leave.

I think these are SO valid. I worried all through my ( very much wanted and planned ) third pregnancy. I feel like 3 is the amount of children that everyone tells you will rock the boat, it’s only natural to worry. I’m not sure there is anything anyone can say to help you during your own pregnancy journey. I had awful thoughts and then I had him, and I wondered why we waited so long. All the worries disappeared and we did what we all do, and just made things work. It’ll be fine, I promise. X