How can I cope with fear after a serious pregnancy bleed?

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How do I overcome my fear of bleeding and being blue lighted to hospital after a significant bleed last week?

I’m so shaken up and I am scared all the time. I am 32+2 and in the last 2 weeks I have had two bleeding episodes.

29weeks - I bled a small amount, like 1-2 tablespoons and went to triage. They said it was an ectropian (like a nose bleed of the cervix). I felt reassured that ‘it was just one of those pregnancy things’ and pretty much just carried on.

A week later at 31+1 (last Monday) I was sat on the sofa and I felt an explosion of wetness, I looked down and a quarter of the sofa was saturated in blood. I froze - I am crying now just thinking about it.

I was blue lighted to hospital and was immediately told about premature baby / c sections and the emergency situation. I was so scared.

I was kept in for monitoring for a few days and baby was/is doing fine - I was discharged on Weds and releived because I had been awake for over 50 hours (the Labour suite + ward was so noisy I could not sleep).

My midwife called on Thursday to talk through what had happened. They were unable to determine if the bleeding was another ectropian or a placenta bleed. She said if it was a placenta bleed it would’ve clotted right away so wouldn’t be detectable on the scan. She said that if I bleed again I have to call 999 and get to hospital immediately because they cannot rule out the risk to babies life and that an emergency C section would be discussed.

I am so shaken up, I cannot relax, I’m constantly on edge ‘checking myself down there for bleeding’. I’m scared to walk, stand suddenly, roll in bed and even sweat down there. I’m just scared and shaking all the time. I am gutted. I have had the easiest breeziest first and second trimester but now I’m just welling up in fear that I could start bleeding at any moment and my baby could die.

I am so emotionally sensitive too, for example. I explained how I am feeling to my sister and she said ‘I get it, I had pregnancy anxiety and it’s awful’. I was miffed because she had zero medical issues during her pregnancy but she had high anxiety and what I am going through doesn’t feel like standard pregnancy anxiety.

I am not worried about my baby growing, she is growing beautifully and is moving loads. I am fearful that I may bleed out again and she may die - this feels more significant than pregnancy anxiety.

I don’t know what I am hoping for with this post. I just feel like I need to write this all down. I’ve never felt so fearful about anything in my life and I cannot stop shaking. I’m scared 💔

Hand hold - that sounds so much to have go cope with. I think your reaction to your sister's comment is completely reasonable as well, rather than emotionally sensitive.

It is scary, of course it is. Everything you are feeling is valid.

Only advice from me is to follow your instinct if ever you feel fobbed off. An early / emergency c section isn't the worse outcome, and you might even find it's worth you pushing for that if your concerns continue. I had an category 1 emergency c section with my first, and even with that the recovery was very manageable (obviously it varies, but I've heard many more positive c section experiences than negative ones).

Wishing you and baby all the best x

Gosh you poor thing. Can you just rest as much as you can? Even if she is born now, the baby will have a very great chance of being fine

Having experienced something similar, but not the same… my only advice from my experience is to not push yourself to ‘get over’ your fear. Can you some how settle in your mind that the fear is somewhat helpful because its allowing you to monitor yourself and be alert for another bleed.

Its weird but I found that if I could accept the fear was just going to be there and it had some positive aspects, its strangle hold on me loosened a bit and became more manageable.

I would also recommend trying to access some talking therapy for someone experiences in medical PTS. There will be so many people around you who just wont understand because they havent been through anything like it…its not their fault and they arent bad people because they dont understand, but you are unlikely to be able to talk to them and have it be helpful for you in processing what happened. A professional will be to listen properly and help while you work through this.

I can’t imagine how terrifying this must feel and there is nothing I, or anyone can say that’s going to take the fear away for you. As pp has already said, you just call or get yourself up to hospital straight away if anything feels off, and I would be inclined to ring the midwife again and tell her how just how scared you are. 💐

I feel for you. I've had several miscarriages and one stillbirth, so I get the fear because my following pregnancies were terrifying!. (This isn't just anxiety ime, it's pure, naked fear).
There is a way through, but it's going to take some discipline. You need to force yourself to think only about today. Remind yourself that today, everything is okay. At the slightest sign of anything else, you should obviously call for help, but for the time being, keep reminding yourself that today you are okay.
I would also say that it's good to confide in people who won't try to minimise your fears, because pretending to make other people feel better will only make you more stressed. Seek out the people who will be afraid with you, without making your fears worse.