Pregnancy

[Kkk17]

Im 42 and partner 58 would you consider this too old to have a baby .

I’m a similar age to your DP. There is no way I’d want a baby now never mind a 12 yo going through High School and puberty at 70.

Having an older Father in particular raises the risks for ND in DC so there’s that to consider too.

And if he’s your DP rather than your DH, what kind of financial security do you have?

Would you be ok if he left you with the baby? Would you have somewhere to live, earn a wage, pay into your pension and be able to pay for childcare?

Explodingsmittems i have my own house and he wouldnt leave me hes not like that. But yes the risks are a worry with age. Thank you for your comment

Yes it’s too old….and in my opinion actually selfish to saddle a child with such an old father

Thank you for your opinion

Would it be your first DC @Kkk17?

I’m 42 and am having a surprise second pregnancy (our 1st took 7.5 years and three rounds of IVF!). I also have 3 friends of a similar age to me who are also pregnant. Honestly, if you’re fit and healthy, in a stable, loving relationship with a partner who is 100% on board and not just agreeing because it’s what you want, then give it a try if that’s what you want. Life is short. My nephew lost his mother to cancer last year when he was 5 and she was 44. Age is a consideration but not the be all and end all. Do you have family/friends around who can help? As long as your child would be brought up in a loving, supportive household with a network of friends/family around then go for it. You’re obviously aware of the risks but they are risk factors, not a foregone conclusion. Best of luck.

Congratulations @Ilovewheelychairs

Explodingsmittens yes we havent got children together

Thanks @ExplodingSmittens. Still taking a while to come to terms with!

llovewheelychairs it would have a loving stable environment , we wouldnt have friends and family to help it would just be us. Congratulations to you by the way

ExplodingSmittens yes out first we dont have kids together

ExplodingSmittens will probably take the chance and go for it because life is to short and it would have a loving environment and everythibg it will ever need

I can imagine. That’s an awfully long time to get your DC1.

My DFriend did similar. Had 2 via IVF then a few years later had a surprise third.

The two older ones live their little brother.

I bet you couldn’t believe it when you found out

Do either of you already have any DC, not together?

@ExplodingSmittens we had to get a test that physically said ‘pregnant’ or ‘not pregnant’ as we didn’t believe the line! Then when we went for an early scan at 8 weeks the first thing I asked was ‘is there actually a baby there’?! 😂 Such a blessing though, just took a while to feel real (I’m almost 16 weeks now and it still doesn’t 😂)

42 no, 58 yes. Highly likely they would not be around to see their child become an adult. I would also be surprised a 58 year old wanting a newborn

We just have one each

If you do go ahead, I plead with you to get married so you have some protection financially and legally in the near future

I mean if you want the poor kid.to most likely lose their dad young

llovewheelychairs aww thats amazing, think we are just going to go for it life is too short

How old are they @Kkk17 because that’s something else to consider and what kind of relationship does he have with his own DC?

Well quite literally in some areas. I’ve just looked at our area and Life Expectancy for men is 80 which means that in some areas it will be less than the average.

I can understand you being excited, I would try and write down all the pros and cons though. For instance if your DP smokes or has high blood pressure his like expectancy and quality of life might be much less.

There is just so much to think about isn’t there?

If you own your home, does he own his?

He probably can’t remember what it was like or didn’t do much looking after of the one he has?

I can just imagine you with that test. How wonderful

42 is fine but I agree with others 58 is too old. My friend's dad was in his 70s when we were teenagers and he was always so worried about him and his health issues, had to give him care and he died when we were 30. I know this could happen even if you were younger, but this is guaranteeing it. I don't think it's fair to the child personally having seen it. Especially as you already have children just not together, so it's not your only shot.

But it does seem a bit like you're just going to do it because you want to despite most people here advising not to.