Pregnant after three sections and extensive mesh repair, feeling scared

[Tashablu]

Hi I am currently 14+4 with my 4th baby. I have had 3 previous sections, my last section didn’t heal and it ended in an incisional hernia that was large and took 8 hours to repair. I have a piece of mesh from my scar to just under my breast, it measures 20cmx30cm so it’s big. I had my first consultant appointment this week and I’m pretty terrified. She has never seen this sort of pregnancy or birth before and after discussing me with many of her colleagues none of them have seen or heard of anything like me before. They believe I won’t be able to carry baby to full term as my mesh isnt flexible and the pressure from baby growing is going to hurt. They said I will likely be admitted into hospital before full term as the pain is going to become unbearable. They used the words bail out early, which means baby will spend time in nicu but right now they are trying to figure out a plan to get baby out. They said they can’t cut through the mesh as it’s like concrete and likely fused to one or more of my organs and the risk of organ damage is high. The one suggestion they have right now is to cut me vertically from chest down as far as they can and bring baby out through the top. I will obviously be asleep during the birth which is one thing that is terrifying to me not seeing my baby and knowing they are ok is breaking my heart. This wasn’t a planned pregnancy, I am a single mum and met someone and did the deed once in over a year. I know protection is a thing and I went to my gp as soon as I found out to make sure it was even possible to carry a baby with such extensive surgical mesh but then I had an early scan and had 2 more scans since then and every time I see bub I just fall more in love so I feel like even if they said I couldn’t continue with the pregnancy I wouldn’t be able to terminate. My consultant tried to be really reassuring she even said she has called an oncologist in as he is a brilliant surgeon so they are doing everything they can to keep us both safe but I’m just looking to see if anyone has ever been through anything like this. Or even what a section under a general is like bonding wise? I’m just lost I guess as I’m scared for me and baby and I just want us to be ok.

You risk leaving three children motherless or with a single severely disabled mother. Is it worth the risk?

Op take the termination, it’s likely you will either die or both of you will be disabled. You must put your 3 children first. Even if you say save your life, they may not be able to do so. I was in your shoes with a pregnancy, it was either terminate 20 weeks along with triplets or I would die. I choose my living children. You can’t play god with these sort of things.

My ex and I have a very amicable co parenting relationship and we have discussed what would happen if I was admitted to hospital and he would take on the kids full time.

That’s great but for how long? Forever? Would he take the baby too?

Poor you OP, what a predicament. Termination really is the only option though. Sorry you’ve been let down by your doctors.

If you've already had 3 sections and mesh repair you have had extensive damage to your body.
I feel like unfortunately the health professionals involved haven't been pressing the urgency on this and have been dragging their feet, because you really should have had an abortion asap or at least a clearer picture of the situation.
It's up to you ultimately, but I would prioritise my existing kids. 3 is enough.

OP, you really need to listen to your health care team rather than opinions on here. It is very clear from reading most of the replies that they are from people who have not a scooby about the medicine they're talking about.

A baby born at 32 weeks is not guaranteed to be healthy. Have you considered you might have a disabled child to care for in addition to your existing children? Can you say, hand on heart, you would be able to do that?

For once this seems a thread where everyone is in agreement. Her medical team seem to be failing her very badly.

I’m sorry OP, this is a brutal decision but you should absolutely terminate while you still can. You’re putting your life at risk. You’re a single mum. Who will care for your remaining children if you don’t survive this?

In your shoes I would terminate op. Im sorry.

Exactly. I don’t see ignorant opinions on here, I see shock and disbelief that OP’s doctors have failed her and fear that they will continue to do so as some kind of pro life experiment.

It is certainly not a case of not listening to the HCPs.

Right firstly you do what you want to do when It comes to keeping your child. Being pro choice is about supporting a women’s right to choose what she wants to do with her body. No one should be guilted into keeping or ending a pregnancy.

have you seen maternal medicine? They would be best to support you if not one I. Your hospital I would ask if you could be reffered.

dont be afraid of ga csection. A planned one is very different to an emergency. I have had one and am happy to walk you through my experience if you would like.

hope it all goes well for you.

I honestly would not continue with this pregnancy OP. Even if you set aside the very real risk to your own life and health and the impact having such an unwell and pained mum will have on your current children, a baby born no later than 32 weeks could have a lengthy NICU stay and their own set of long term health issues- the impact that would have on your existing children is huge.

This isn’t a straightforward pregnancy where you’d need a few days/week help with childcare from your ex, your ex would essentially have to become the primary parent potentially for a very very long time, and this could change your existing children’s lives forever in a really negative way.

I would really, really struggle to go through with a termination. If the risks of not doing included my current children growing up without me, I'd have to prioritise them, no matter how hard that was for me. Children losing their mother far outweighs a mother having to deal with grief and guilt.

I'm an obstetric anaesthetist. We see quite a lot more difficult stuff than most of the good folk of MN could even imagine. I would stick to getting advice from the HCPs with all the information than people who don't have any information.

This.

@Tashablu whatever you decide to do, know that God loves you. If you decide to continue with this pregnancy then it sounds like you'll need a miracle! Thankfully, our Father in heaven is in the miracle business! If you pray to Him, he will hear you. God bless

I would ask your doctors about the prognosis for a baby born at 32 weeks at this point in time. The number scares me, but perhaps technology has improved.

I really think you need to investigate the odds that you will have a child with additional needs. This isn’t just about getting through a temporary interruption to your parenting.

@Tashablu the only positive thing to come out of this post is that your ex would take on the children as needed.
The risks here are probably as off the scale as they could be. The odds of you coming out of this unscathed with a healthy baby are heavily stacked against you. Never mind the months or potentially years/a lifetime of anxiety and stress before and after.
It's super tough but I couldn't gamble the wellbeing of my whole existing family in this scenario. 😪

My first comment upthread was to advise OP to seek honest advice from her consultant on how dangerous this procedure was. However, it appears that that they have never seen anything like this before - so how is she supposed to make a decision?

I had two children via c section and then hernia repair and tummy tuck before third accidental pregnancy. No mesh. The tummy tuck held together throughout pregnancy and the pregnancy was uncomfortable. Baby pressed on my stomach and my appetite reduced and I lost weight. By full term although slim normally I looked only a few months pregnant. Baby was healthy though. Although the mesh doesn’t stretch can’t the skin on your sides grow to accommodate baby bump somewhat? Not sure about getting baby out though but do they think they can do it?

Please consider not going ahead with the pregnancy. For the sake of your 3 children. Im so surprised doctors didnt advice tubes tied after your last baby.

I would also be googling the hell out of this before making any decision. You aren’t the first woman with a mesh repair to be pregnant. Ok yours sounds large but you really need to understand the specifics. You may need a surgeon with experience of this type of surgery.

found this academic paper online
pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12510398/

Please don’t do this OP.
For the sake of your existing children who need you. And get sterilized.

What happens to your 3 existing children if it all goes horribly wrong?