Pregnant after three sections and extensive mesh repair, feeling scared

[Tashablu]

Hi I am currently 14+4 with my 4th baby. I have had 3 previous sections, my last section didn’t heal and it ended in an incisional hernia that was large and took 8 hours to repair. I have a piece of mesh from my scar to just under my breast, it measures 20cmx30cm so it’s big. I had my first consultant appointment this week and I’m pretty terrified. She has never seen this sort of pregnancy or birth before and after discussing me with many of her colleagues none of them have seen or heard of anything like me before. They believe I won’t be able to carry baby to full term as my mesh isnt flexible and the pressure from baby growing is going to hurt. They said I will likely be admitted into hospital before full term as the pain is going to become unbearable. They used the words bail out early, which means baby will spend time in nicu but right now they are trying to figure out a plan to get baby out. They said they can’t cut through the mesh as it’s like concrete and likely fused to one or more of my organs and the risk of organ damage is high. The one suggestion they have right now is to cut me vertically from chest down as far as they can and bring baby out through the top. I will obviously be asleep during the birth which is one thing that is terrifying to me not seeing my baby and knowing they are ok is breaking my heart. This wasn’t a planned pregnancy, I am a single mum and met someone and did the deed once in over a year. I know protection is a thing and I went to my gp as soon as I found out to make sure it was even possible to carry a baby with such extensive surgical mesh but then I had an early scan and had 2 more scans since then and every time I see bub I just fall more in love so I feel like even if they said I couldn’t continue with the pregnancy I wouldn’t be able to terminate. My consultant tried to be really reassuring she even said she has called an oncologist in as he is a brilliant surgeon so they are doing everything they can to keep us both safe but I’m just looking to see if anyone has ever been through anything like this. Or even what a section under a general is like bonding wise? I’m just lost I guess as I’m scared for me and baby and I just want us to be ok.

What a silly thing to do. They should of told you when it happened not to get pregnant again. Hope it goes alright but please get sterilised for your own health sake after this. Do you even have anyone to help you after birth? It’s going to take a extensive amount of time to heal.

Jeeze. This sounds like a very bad idea OP, what were you thinking!

Personally I wouldn’t risk your life/health, being there for your existing children, and potential lifelong complications for what will undoubtedly be a premature baby. You could have a uterine rupture before the planned surgery or any number of other very dangerous complications, is it really worth it?

Not to mention what if they struggle to get baby out, what if you have complications and die on the table. What about the 3 children you have now? Do they not matter? Whose going to look after them if you spend months in hostipal if your a single parent?

I think you urgently need to talk further with health professionals. This does sound incredibly risky and as much as you want this baby, you need to think about your health and your existing children.

I have no advice in regards to the mesh sorry but my first baby I was under general anaesthetic. I had no issues in bonding, she is now 15 and we’re still super close.

You have many children already, you need to prioritise those ones.
This pregnancy is incredibly risky and your emotions really need to take a back seat here, (sorry) be responsible, you're an adult.

What happens when you die during the section, what happens to your already live children?

Come on op.

I am sorry OP but if I were in your position I would have an abortion. Did you find out late?

Yes because it’s incredibly likely op will die or have a rupture unfortunately. Op needs to terminate. The hostipal aren’t allowed to force hands, but they must be thinking the same thing. The mesh goes up to the breast tissue where the heck are they going to be able to cut & get baby out? There is no where without causing problems with organs.

Prioritise your living children. Terminate the pregnancy.

This doesn’t sound like it’s going to end well, for any of you.

If you’re looking for reassurance then I don’t think you’re going to get any. This sounds incredibly dangerous and it’s unlikely to be ok tbh.

You need to consider if your feelings about this baby are more important than your other 3 children. Feeling sad about an abortion is infinitely better than dying or disabling yourself and being unable to care for your existing children.

This sounds very dangerous OP. I know its not as simple for you as ‘think of your existing children’ but your health professionals sound as if they have been negligent from the start, and continue to be so. You clearly should have been sterilised at the time the mesh was used.

You need proper advice from someone who will consider the reality of the present situation and what sounds like the significant risk to your own life continuing the pregnancy will pose.

If a termination can be done now without the complications you describe in trying to carry to viability I would do it.

I agree with this;
what if you die during labour/surgery - there’s 3 other children and another baby to consider not to mention the risks and potential pain.

I’m sorry but if it was me I’d terminate and get sterilised under these circumstances.

I would ask your consultant for an honest assessment of how dangerous this surgery is for you. I feel like you're focusing on the wrong things at the moment, i.e. bonding with the baby. You should be considering your living children. You say you are a single mum. What are your plans for their care if something goes wrong in theatre?

If this is real, it’s sounds seriously and dangerously stupid to continue with this pregnancy. I hope your other three kids have a decent father present in their life because at best, they’re going to need someone else to take care of them for months while you’re in hospital/recover after birth. At worst, they’ll need someone else to live with indefinitely.

At best you are going to end up some kind of disability. Your existing children and your health are the priority here.

Wow I’m so sorry OP what a terrifying situation to be in. Just to say I really hope it all goes ok and I think you sound like a wonderful mum bonding so much already with your unborn baby. It’s great that your consultant is reassuring and that surgeon sounds good! I know a few people who were under general anaesthetic for birth and bonded very well with their babies, so I wouldn’t worry about that bit. Wishing you all the very best xx

Kindly OP, you would be mad to continue with this pregnancy. It’s so high risk I don’t even know where to begin, that’s before you add in that you’re a single mum and could potentially leave your existing kids without a mother.

I did wonder, as it sounds so horrific, but then.. I think it would be very hard to make something like this up and have it sound so mundane and convincing.

I might be being naive but I think this really is a case of ‘you couldn’t make this up’.

In all honesty I would have a termination OP. You have to prioritise your own health.

This is a really unsafe idea for both you and the baby. Medics will do their best for you, but that is not an endorsement of this situation.

It's heartbreaking of course and I'm very sorry but both you and your baby could be left disabled. I couldn't risk it. I really hope it works out

A lot of people like to kick a horse when it's down but honestly you've been totally irresponsible with your own health and the future of your existing children. As much as you're in love with this new baby maybe direct more love towards your existing children.

I am sorry but you really need to consider a termination before it gets any further along. I’m surprised when you got the mesh they didn’t tell you you couldn’t have more children.
You are a single mum and your priority is your 3 children and staying healthy for them. All this you love bub on the scan seems very immature. You have 3 kids so you know what love actually is.

Are you in the UK @Tashablu?

I agree with most posters in this thread. Your responsibility is to your three children. Continuing with this pregnancy would be highly irresponsible.

This is the sort of thing I have needed to hear. I went to my gp as soon as I found out because I knew without asking this was going to be a risk. This was in march and I was left
with no information or anything for weeks. I went for early scans privately to see how far along I was as I haven’t had a period in 16 months (I am late 30s) I had no idea if it was even real or if I was perimenopausal. When I saw the consultant Tuesday she couldn’t even tell me the mesh placement as she didn’t know it wasn’t in my notes from my surgeon that did the repair. So they don’t even know where it is without having to get the surgeons and hope they remember where it is. I booked an appointment at my local sexual health clinic to discuss abortion but decided to wait and see what the surgeons said but didn’t think I would be left newly 7 weeks with no information. To answer some questions I obviously place my children earth side above anyone and have made it very clear to my family and the consultant that if they told me my life would be at serious risk then I would choose me, my kids need me. I do have a good support system, my ex and I have a very amicable co parenting relationship and we have discussed what would happen if I was admitted to hospital and he would take on the kids full time. I have been told recovery would be similar to my original hernia repair which I remember being the most painful time in my life and i know how difficult childcare would be. They have also said that because they haven’t seen anything like this before everything right now is educated guesses but they would be taking baby out no later than 32 weeks. I never discussed having anymore children with the surgeon that did my repair as I never thought I would have anymore children.