Pregnancy at 44!!!

[WhyWomen26]

I can’t believe I am writing this,
thought I was having menopause symptoms go agreed and was getting ready to prescribe hrt had just given me all the info to look at and decide and women in family all had early menopause so expected it before now really.
however after more symptoms and stop start period that didn’t really start
I decided to test and it’s bfp!! I am shocked to say the least as was using birth control also
i feel petrified and considering going ahead but feel I can’t as well as my age dh is 47 next and we already have five kids!!! Two are practically adults and youngest three are 4, 8 and 10
the last was supposed to be the last!! We haven’t really got room and two share a bedroom and means two more will have to
plus our 7 seater for holidays won’t be enough, costs etc
dh feels too old I struggled last time mentally with pnd and lack of sleep
Anyone else been in this predicament? I’m just struggling mentally with it all

Oh, I'm sorry it's news you didn't want. Must be very shocking. Would you consider a termination?

Yes. I was pregnant at 44. Had been told it was impossible. It’s hard work but amazing. Don’t just terminate without giving it thought.

What a shock for you both OP. Would your DH consider the snip?

You really don't have to have this baby if you don't want to. I wouldn't.

I wouldn’t have it.

I'm 44 now and honestly, I couldn't cope with a baby and raising another child. The baby part is the small bit, but potty training and starting school and weaning etc.

There are lots of risks to having a baby as a geriatric mother.

But only you can decide if this baby is right for you. But, its okay to terminate if its not.

I wouldn’t have the baby for all the reasons you mention and more. But that’s me.

Honestly I think the term geriatric mother is excessive @MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel . You know your body and yourself and whether you are up to it. Wishing you all the best OP - whatever you decide to do.

That's the medical term for a mother over the age of 30

Any mother over 35 is geriatric. It's a medical term.

I had a baby at 44, it was my easiest pregnancy and it’s been wonderful. But if this is all wrong for you, then it’s entirely your decision.

I was pregnant at 44 (natural conception), baby arrived healthy at 45. All was fine, however it was our second so different circumstances for me. It's been absolutely great and I feel very lucky. If its something that you want and you think you can afford it, you'll find a way to make it work and it'll be lovely. Only you know if its right for your family though. Best of luck either way.

Only you can make this decision OP. Everyone is so different - financially, emotionally, physically - and all with different situations. Wishing you all the best x

Your 44 with a 4,8 and 10 year old do you want another baby now.
Do you want any freedom back your be parenting past 60s.

Im 39 and my baby is 22 i couldnt go back to the baby toddler stage or the school years.

Wrong

No one terminates without giving it a thought. Ffs.

I am sorry OP. It sounds like termination would be the best option but sit down, breathe, write down pros and cons. It’s hard to have an objective conversation about this but it’s important.
I had my fifth at 43 and it was fine, but it was not easy at all.

I had my second at 43 but she was very much planned. It is completely acceptable for you to consider termination op.

Ultimately it's your life, your choice.

Certainly isn't everyone's ideal situation, least of all mine. But if you're happy, and can cope, then more power to you, I guess.

It's wrong and it's correct at the same time.
Wrong = It's aged over 35, not aged 30.
Correct = I was deemed a "geriatric mother" at aged 36 (as I was over age 35 in UK) and it stated this term on my medical records at the time in the maternity hospital. I felt ancient when I read it. 😆 🤣 😂

I believe they have changed the term now, from geriatric to Advanced Maternal age (AMA) as the old "geriatric" term was outdated and had negative connotations. 😇

Husband needs to take over on birth control .... snip!

It doesn't sound like either of you wants another child and you both believe it would not be the right choice for your already large family.
You have choices OP.
I wouldn't use your age as a factor neither, rather your circumstances.

Over the age of 30 😂

Did you just have one?

Yes i was one and done.
The cost was enough.

Thank you for all the responses , a lot to consider
I am still very much in shock ,no idea what I’ll do and I’m very aware of all the risks and chances of mc are so much much higher too