Partner wants me to abort

[Louiselouxo]

I’m writing on here because I have no one else to talk to….. I’ve fallen pregnant by accident I’m on the pill so was a complete shock. We have 3 kids (15,11,3) after my youngest we agreed no more. But now I’m in this situation and completely devastated by the thought of an abortion…. Last year I fell pregnant by accident , I put my partners wants above mine and aborted- I changed my pill to a different one to avoid anything happening again. And now I am here :( I don’t want to abort again. It fills me with guilt. I know I will love a child regardless of how they got here but he is threatening to kick me and the kids out, see the child but not me, he just doesn’t want more kids. He is a great guy, a great dad, he treats us all so well so I am shocked at his reaction. I thought he would stick by me….. a part of me think or hopes he will just accept this baby in the end but it’s a huge risk ruining the family we have :( has anyone else been in this and there partner came around? Please no negative comments…. He is not a bad guy, he’s actually lovely. This just wasn’t on the cards

I very much hope you won't be having sex with him again until he's had a vasectomy whatever you choose to do about this pregnancy.

My god what a vile excuse of a man. He is not a great dad or partner, he’s an abusive piece of shit and the sooner you get away from him the better. People who love you don’t control you by threatening to make your small child homeless. What a bastard.

Don’t do it ! The guilt will never leave you and the resentment towards him will grow so your marriage will prob sou end anyway . He could have had a vasectomy and choose not too

He IS a bad guy. He's already forced you into one abortion, and yet he hasn't had a vasectomy?

He's evil.

Your previous thread from March 24 has exactly the same title. You were twisting yourself into a pretzel then to convince yourself that he was a great all round brilliant man. He wasn’t then and isn’t now.

Surely the relationship is over regardless if he pushes you into a second abortion? He doesn’t care about you or your kids if he’s happy to bully you and kick you all out. Regardless of what choice you make with the pregnancy you’d have to be a total fool to stay in this relationship, it’s over.

I think it’s worth reminding yourself that this man would throw you out on the street with a child that is his but isn’t even yours! What a fucking Prince!

This. Selfish bastards are not great dads! Go with your gut.

Yes but normally those stories involve the dad not being a horrible cunt like your DP is.

Because he's a pathetic manchild who got "scared" about having a vasectomy so cancelled the appointment. Yet he expects OP to keep aborting the kids he is pumping out through no fault of her own and risking her health by having repeated abortions. What a lovely guy.

He did book the snip then he was scared to do it so cancelled…

God they are pathetic, craven idiots aren't they? So many of them.

Now you've seen this side of him, twice and over a prolonged period, would you not be better off without him? It will be challenging but without such an inadequate prick putting his wants above your needs.

He’s threatening to kick you and the kids out, cancelled his vasectomy but pressures you to have two abortions, but you still think he's a lovely guy, a great dad?

I am so sorry. it’s awful to be forced into something you don’t want.
It does sound as though your life is already very complicated though. Regardless of whether he comes round, is it feasible to add a baby into your existing life?
My DH was adamant he couldn’t cope with another, and I was so desperate to have one. It broke my heart at the time, and I can only see years later that it actually would have broken him. I am not defending your DH’s behaviour in any way, although I can see that sometimes an extra child can feel completely overwhelming. Good luck

Then he should have had the snip.

and the fact he can make you homeless is another huge issue why is the house just his?

If it was me....I'd think very carefully about having an abortion and not dismiss it out of hand (using my head and not my heart). And then I'd think very carefully about what happens next. I'd have the abortion and stay with him, insisting on a vasectomy - but that's my view and not necessarily yours (I'd be a hopeless single mum and would think, rightly or wrongly, this would be best for the children). Good luck with whatever you decide x

Id be telling him that he is a massive prick for pulling this stunt on you again. What the fuck is he playing at

What a prince. What’s the situation if you find yourself single with 3 kids to support?
does he earn enough to support the two children he sired with you and also his existing child? Where is the father to your other child and does he pay child support?
would he want to see the baby if you go ahead or just the one you share together? What about your son he’s step dad to?
It sounds like chaos. Where will you live? How big a house will you need?
can you afford that?
i personally would double terminate (the pregnancy and the relationship)
He is awful, and I just couldn’t want to be with someone so uncaring and selfish.

By accident...twice. umm okay then

He is not a good man or a good dad OP.

He’s a selfish, unkind and irresponsible bully.

His reaction is unforgivable and I don’t know how, regardless of the decision you make re this pregnancy, you will ever be able to share a bed and a life with him again.

Whatever you decide to do (I.e. keep baby or abort), and permanent solution is needed to ensure this doesn't happen again.

Vasectomy, tubal ligation, separation, an IUD. There are alternatives options. This doesn't need to be a repeat issue.

I think the relationship is over whether or not you keep the child. He’d probably keep the 3 year old at his house as this is his kid and also the kid from his previous relationship. You’ll need to find somewhere to live with your older child and consider whether you should continue the pregnancy.

Very dangerous to move in with a man and have his child without jointly owning the house. Also most ‘accidents’ on the pill are taking it too late.

He won’t come round
If you want the baby, have the baby
Leave him anyway because he’s an arsehole and decide whether or not you can manage with three children or four on your own

This

Your previous threads are quite distressing and I’m not 100% convinced you are actively trying not to get pregnant….. you mention on other posts that you are using the ‘pull out method’ and ‘having sex the day of the abortion’. Gross. Why put yourself in this position?!??

He can. They are not married. It’s his house , she has no rights. @Louiselouxohe’s not a great Dad or a great guy if he’s threatening to chuck you out.