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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Partner wants me to abort

96 replies

Louiselouxo · 08/11/2025 10:20

I’m writing on here because I have no one else to talk to….. I’ve fallen pregnant by accident I’m on the pill so was a complete shock. We have 3 kids (15,11,3) after my youngest we agreed no more. But now I’m in this situation and completely devastated by the thought of an abortion…. Last year I fell pregnant by accident , I put my partners wants above mine and aborted- I changed my pill to a different one to avoid anything happening again. And now I am here :( I don’t want to abort again. It fills me with guilt. I know I will love a child regardless of how they got here but he is threatening to kick me and the kids out, see the child but not me, he just doesn’t want more kids. He is a great guy, a great dad, he treats us all so well so I am shocked at his reaction. I thought he would stick by me….. a part of me think or hopes he will just accept this baby in the end but it’s a huge risk ruining the family we have :( has anyone else been in this and there partner came around? Please no negative comments…. He is not a bad guy, he’s actually lovely. This just wasn’t on the cards

OP posts:
EachandEveryone · 08/11/2025 11:32

He’s not going to throw you and the kids out. I mean that’s a big heartless undertaking. I wouldn’t abort but I would quietly make plans to leave him.

Whatwerewetalkingabout · 08/11/2025 11:32

Louiselouxo · 08/11/2025 10:49

He is the father to one, we both had a child each from previous relationships and he raised my son as his own. The house is his so I will be homeless, I have my own money and a good job able to support us all alone. I just wish that wasn’t the case! He did book the snip then he was scared to do it so cancelled…

Show quote history

In that case maybe you are scared to go through another abortion and cancel. Why the fuck is he allowed to do that but expects you to follow through with an abortion with a baby you want to keep! What an absolutley selfish cunt!!!! Arg, sorry OP. 😓

workshy46 · 08/11/2025 11:33

Louiselouxo · 08/11/2025 11:12

I am devastated by the situation, I’m very maternal and in an ideal world I’d keep this baby but being a single mum isn’t what I want. I’m trying to hold down full time work, school runs, nirsery runs, run the house and not fall apart, while suffering with sickness! This whole thing feels so rubbish. Is there any posative storries? We’re dad comes round to it :(

Have the baby if you want - I wouldn’t in this situation personally- but I absolutely wouldn’t based on the fact that he might come around- from what you have said this is highly unlikely so if you do go ahead you need to be aware that it’s most likely you will be doing it entirely on your own. He is also unlikely to continue the parent relationship to his step child and he at best will only see his biological child

Whatwerewetalkingabout · 08/11/2025 11:33

Also there would be absolutley no way I would get an abortion until he first got a vasectomy and followed through.

Abracadabrador · 08/11/2025 11:34

You're in a precarious situation being unmarried and threatened with homelessness, securing your own house is crucial.
Find somewhere to live and decide if you really want to keep this awful man on as a boyfriend or just co-parent with him via a parenting app.

GinaandGin · 08/11/2025 11:35

Louiselouxo · 08/11/2025 10:20

I’m writing on here because I have no one else to talk to….. I’ve fallen pregnant by accident I’m on the pill so was a complete shock. We have 3 kids (15,11,3) after my youngest we agreed no more. But now I’m in this situation and completely devastated by the thought of an abortion…. Last year I fell pregnant by accident , I put my partners wants above mine and aborted- I changed my pill to a different one to avoid anything happening again. And now I am here :( I don’t want to abort again. It fills me with guilt. I know I will love a child regardless of how they got here but he is threatening to kick me and the kids out, see the child but not me, he just doesn’t want more kids. He is a great guy, a great dad, he treats us all so well so I am shocked at his reaction. I thought he would stick by me….. a part of me think or hopes he will just accept this baby in the end but it’s a huge risk ruining the family we have :( has anyone else been in this and there partner came around? Please no negative comments…. He is not a bad guy, he’s actually lovely. This just wasn’t on the cards

He's not a "great guy" if he's threatening to kick you out

Uberella · 08/11/2025 11:37

A great dad?;he’s threatening to throw his own children out.

what’s he doing to ensure no more pregnancies?;is he wearing condoms,booked in for a vasectomy?

I’d seriously consider aborting your relationship with him as he’s a nasty piece of work

Slightyamusedandsilly · 08/11/2025 11:38

Your choices are:

  1. Marriage and family with existing children.

  2. Single, with 4 children/family.

Make your choice based on those 2 options.

honeylulu · 08/11/2025 11:38

What a vile man. He is not "lovely" or a "great dad" for trying to bully and blackmail you into a medical procedure you dont want. Yet it was fine for him to "get scared" of a medical procedure that would have avoided this. Pathetic.

You dont want a termination. Say no. Call his bluff and tell him if he kicks you out you'll take your kid from previous relationship but his bio kids will have to stay with him and he can't force you to take them. Then make plans to leave in due course on your own terms. I couldn't come back from this I don't think. Thank goodness you have a good job and options.

Abracadabrador · 08/11/2025 11:41

Slightyamusedandsilly · 08/11/2025 11:38

Your choices are:

  1. Marriage and family with existing children.

  2. Single, with 4 children/family.

Make your choice based on those 2 options.

OPs posts show she is not married and has two kids of her own.

Bananalanacake · 08/11/2025 11:46

Men should always use condoms even when their partner is on the pill, you never know when one method can fail. I once dumped a man because he suggested he didn't use condoms when he was having problems putting one on, I was on the pill but I kicked him out for being a filthy, fucking bastard for even suggesting it.

Daaaaahling · 08/11/2025 11:47

He seems to blaming you for this situation, when actually it is his fault. 100% his own fault. You have already had one abortion for him. You are already on contraception. He has failed to get the vasectomy he promised. So how can a resulting child now possibly be seen as "unfair" on him? Only his choices have led you both here. He has already treated you unfairly and now it is deeply unfair to demand you have another abortion that you don't want. To be honest he is coming across as a real bastard. I would tell him you're going to start explaining to his family and friends the things he's been threatening you with to try to force you to have an abortion. See if a little shame works, if he has any.

Matildahoney · 08/11/2025 11:49

If he didn't want another child that badly, and knowing your pill has failed once before he should have got a vasectomy, so why the hell hasn't he?! And going forward if you stay with him I'd be refusing to have sex with him until he does!

CurlewKate · 08/11/2025 11:50

First. Stop thinking of him as a great guy and a great dad. He isn’t.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 08/11/2025 11:50

Why hasn't he had the snip? Seems he just wants you to be responsible for family planning then spits his dummy out when it doesn't work/suit him. Its a piece of cake for a man.

YourOliveBalonz · 08/11/2025 11:51

You don’t want to be a single mum, but it doesn’t sound like he’s a keeper OP so I wouldn’t base your decision on him staying vs him going - I think he needs to be on his way anyway. He’s a selfish coward.

LondonLady1980 · 08/11/2025 11:54

How on earth can you think this is a good man?

I’m gobsmacked OP seriously.
Why on earth are you defending this animal?

Scoop up the kids, get away from him and make a new life for yourself, one that includes the new baby.

He sounds like a disgusting piece of sh*t and you and the children are far better off without him.

JLou08 · 08/11/2025 11:56

Do you think you could get over an abortion that you had because your husband threatened to kick you and the kids out of the house? I don't think I could, I think I would never look at my DH the same again. It sounds like the relationship is over anyway so don't make your decision based on keeping your husband.

JLou08 · 08/11/2025 12:00

Slightyamusedandsilly · 08/11/2025 11:38

Your choices are:

  1. Marriage and family with existing children.

  2. Single, with 4 children/family.

Make your choice based on those 2 options.

I'm not sure 1 is an option. It sounds like the marriage is doomed after threats to kick out OP and her DC.

ChaToilLeam · 08/11/2025 12:01

Your relationship is dead in the water either way. Think about what is best for you and your children. This isn't a "great guy" - he's a cold and selfish bastard, threatening you all with homelessness just because he was too chicken for the snip.

Catwalking · 08/11/2025 12:04

do you really enjoy being pregnant that much?
if you’re so allergic to abortions just have the child & put up for adoption?

Ticktockwatchclock · 08/11/2025 12:16

My Vagina would be clamped shut forever more to this whimpy piece of shit. You have already had one abortion, and with that comes the emotional turmoil as well as the risk. And yet he is wanting you to go through it again all because he’s too scared to get a vasectomy. What a sad example of a man and he is not a good father or partner. A good father doesn’t threaten/blackmail to get his own way and throw his children out if he doesn’t get it.

caringcarer · 08/11/2025 12:17

Louiselouxo · 08/11/2025 10:49

He is the father to one, we both had a child each from previous relationships and he raised my son as his own. The house is his so I will be homeless, I have my own money and a good job able to support us all alone. I just wish that wasn’t the case! He did book the snip then he was scared to do it so cancelled…

Show quote history

Then he is totally to blame. You have put yourself through one abortion and are on the pill. If he doesn't want any more DC he has the snip. In your position I'd have demanded that in order to have your previous abortion. Tell him have the snip or you will have baby.

caringcarer · 08/11/2025 12:22

Louiselouxo · 08/11/2025 11:23

I have, I’ve tried so many time and all he gets back to is he doesn’t want more kids. He agrees abortions awful but having a child for the rest of his life that he doesn’t want isn’t fair on him. All I hear is how he feels or what he wants. He’s being very selfish, I don’t know what to do. I have an abortion appointment booked for Monday but I don’t know if I can do it

Show quote history

Even if you forced yourself to go through another abortion unless he haves the snip you'll get pregnant again.

Pyjamatimenow · 08/11/2025 12:25

You shouldn’t have allowed yourself to get in a position where he’s calling all the shots and you are at his mercy. He needs to go in the bin and you need your own home regardless of whether you choose to keep the baby