Pregnancy at 50

[Star974]

Has anybody had a child in their late 40s or early 50s? How have you found raising children? I’m due soon and pregnancy has been a breeze but the things people post on social media seem to be so negative and not what I’ve experienced so far.

I had my first at 43 and I’ve had no issues keeping up and I work full time .. I think it’s made me a better mum being older calmer and wiser.. two of my friends had babies in their late 40s and they have been fine no issues and they and their children are healthy and coping fine in fact they love their lives 😁

I dont need medical attention.
We are all different we all have something going.
Im early peri meno and suffer with chronic migraines.

I also value my sleep and freedom.
If someone wants a baby at 45 or 50 good for them its not what id want.
As i would be thinking of the later not the now.

but that’s probably because it’s your fourth. If your older and it’s your first you haven’t been broken by motherhood yet.

Op you will do it because you can and want to.

Doesn't matter the age. Its what you want to do and how you approach it. Hopefully you have a partner who can share the work. If not you will still do it because as mums we have to.

Be positive. Be hopeful. Babies are a joy. Bloody tiring but you will do it

Had my last at almost 42. Was probably the best of the four as I was financially stable and could take 15 months off work. I was also the fittest last time round as I was used to running after 3 littles ones. Congratulations to you OP.

My twin cousins had their first babies at 43 and one of them is expecting again at 45. Both are happy as Larry and coping just fine.

Helpful 🙄

Just had my 3rd, very unplanned, age 47. The others are mid-late teens. He's nearly 5 months now and adorable. I'm BFing him while typing, he's a greedy wee man!

I have to say I feel pretty great - back to my running & swimming, plus I walk a LOT each day, 4-5 miles or so on average. Had a vaginal birth with one stitch, it was the easiest pregnancy and birth of the three. I like babies personally so don't find it terrible dealing with the feeding, nights etc.

I agree with PPs who said keeping fit is important, I will be paying lots of attention to this to try to ensure I can keep up with him. Like others our financial situation being older is a lot more secure and we are more senior/can avail of more flexibility at work, have mortgage paid off now etc, so some things are a lot easier than when we had the others with our giant mortgage and early career stage. Still not looking forward to childcare bills but that's ok.

I didn't chose this situation, it chose me, but it's really been wonderful so far and I trust it will be for you too OP as well.

You’re similar to me. My grandfather was born in 1893. I had my DD in my 40s, 116 years later!

A lot of the older people at my gym tend to be the fittest, and some of the best parents I know are over 45. Also you'll challenge all the "jokes" about how all women over 40 aren't fertile; had a 25 year old colleague seem surprised that anyone born before the 90s had regular periods (not that anyone should judge, we're all different, but it is certainly not uncommon for women to give birth over 45).
Good luck and once you're a parent, age is irrelevant anyway, at the baby groups I made friends with teen mums and those of around 50, and we all had the same questions about nappies and soft play!

Lying here with hot flushes night waking and brain fog just baffled at how you can even have a baby when in menopause! It would finish me off!

Also OP you might find this study interesting. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4270889/

Basically it uses long term records kept by Mormons in the US to show a massive correlation between age at last child and longevity. Having a last child over 40 makes you 4 times more likely to live to 100 and having a last child over 45 increases this even more.

They point out as well that as we all know, correlation is not causation, it's just that the kind of woman who is able to conceive and bear a child at an older age probably has the kind of genes that make it more likely to live to a greater age. The effect is also seen in siblings of the women who had the babies, suggesting it is largely genetic.

This study of 19th century Dutch women also shows that it was not uncommon to have a very late baby. In a study group of 10,255 women, 981 had their last baby at 45 or older. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1472648324002621

This is why all the women who have posted here with actual experience of having babies very late on tend to report feeling energetic and healthy - because they are a self selecting group of women who ARE energetic and healthy and that's why they are able to have a baby late on.

@CrepituErgoSum I haven’t read the report but does it distinguish between natural conception and use of donor eggs?

I had my last at 39. I’m knackered now at 56, and the thought of having a baby in my 50s horrifies me, not least because you’ll be close to 70 when they reach adulthood and that seems unfair, but if you’ve got sufficient resources and a good support network, I guess you do you?

And me. A horrific thought!

@Star974 congratulations! I am almost 49 and I have a 1 year old. I also have an older teen. My little one is amazing, gives us so much joy. I cope absolutely fine and my view is that age is just a number. You're still fairly young and if you keep active and have a young outlook/mindset then no problem! The replies I've read of people in their 30s being so negative and saying they struggle are quite pathetic!! Good luck and enjoy your baby!!

@sittingonabeach both those studies are based on long term historical records.

The first study is of Mormons (siblings born before 1870) and historical demographic data from Quebec residents (siblings born between 1670 and 1750).

The second is of nineteenth century people in Zeeland in the Netherlands starting from 1812. So all natural conceptions.

Had my DS at 44, seven years ago, and everything was and is just fine. I am also a bit baffled by the general consensus of being so old and tired and unable to look after children after 40..... I can only say it's not my case or the case of any of my friends, but clearly we are just a small representation!
Of course I am tired between a full time job, raising my son, looking after our house etc but I don't feel any other younger woman in my position would be less tired. I still manage to do all the above and exercise several times a week, have a couple of hobbies, a partner, friends and social life. We travel a lot, take our DS to lots of activities and sports and we spend a lot of time together.

Im 39 and got early onset menopause and a list of the rest of my issues. I agree with you i couldnt do it now let alone in my 50s.

i did have hot flushes before I started IVF but it wasn’t a problem and no brain fog or other symptoms so I’m not too worried about that to be honest.
Thanks for all your opinions folks.

So you were menopausal prior to this IVF conception ? Is your plan to go back on HRT afterwards ?

Do you not worry about the very real possibility of not seeing you child into full adulthood and beyond? I appreciate none of us know when our time is up but having a baby when you’re in perimenopause is moving into territory where you know that health issues can creep up on you and you are knowingly putting your child in the frame for losing a parent earlier than they should. There’s a reason life assurance is more expensive in your 50s compared to your 30s.

Average female life expectancy in the UK is 82 or 83 so OP is very likely to see her child into their 30s, especially if they make a conscious effort to exercise, maintain fitness, avoid smoking, vaping, drinking etc.

Healthy life expentency is more like 65.
https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/healthandsocialcare/healthandlifeexpectancies/bulletins/healthstatelifeexpectanciesuk/between2011to2013and2020to2022

There is every chance of having serious health issues while still needing to support this child.

I mean, you had IVF and are about to give birth. You’re doing this! Our opinions are meaningless, and you must know an awful lot of people think late 40s/50 is way too old to have a baby? You don’t need to hear all of that now! Surely you just need to embrace this next chapter of your life and tune out the negativity?

What a nasty comment.