Pregnancy at 50

[Star974]

Has anybody had a child in their late 40s or early 50s? How have you found raising children? I’m due soon and pregnancy has been a breeze but the things people post on social media seem to be so negative and not what I’ve experienced so far.

If this is really the case you need to seek medical advice. Firstly babies are not difficult to keep up with, secondly 39 is in no way an unusual age to still be parenting v. ypung children.

The ace thing is that you have wisdom and are no doubt nose deep in parenting books, so will be a very well informed parent. This will help your child's literacy, fostering a love of reading which is one of the greatest gifts that you can give them.

Keeping fit is key. Toddlers and primary aged kids are high energy, and if you will have just the one child, you will be the default playmate!

I started late - in my early 40s. I'm in my 50s now, and have the same physique as when I was 20 (yay!) due to the vigors of playing tag, chasing, climbing, cycling, sprint training, swimming, playing tennis, playing basketball, hiking, etc. It is involved but you reap the benefits. It is doing wonders for my skin, too.

Home help or being near to extended family can lighten the load when you need a break. This is worth considering, as down time is important whether you are doing this alone or as a couple.

You are going to do fine!

At age 50 I highly doubt the OP is the biological mother of this child

50?! Me and everyone I know deep into peri menopause symptoms and moving on from caring for other people - real mindset shift. Cannot even imagine becoming a first time mother now. Short of serious illness I can’t think of anything worse.

Goodness I feel sorry for all these younger women saying they have no energy and couldn’t look after a baby at 39, or that they’re completely exhausted at 30. I guess I’ve been biologically blessed with energy and positivity. It would be a shame to expect your life to be such a drag past 40. My partners mum is late 80s and the most energetic fun life of the party everyone’s favourite woman! She had him at 45. My friends mum was technically an “old lady” at her graduation, but was hilarious, glamorous, elegant and magnetic. This was ten years ago, the only time I met her, and I still think about her.

Depends what you want op. It’s not for me. I want to enjoy grandkids and see my children into adulthood.

And I just have to add… what kind of women post such negative and, importantly, speculative opinions on a thread where the op has asked for experiences of those who had children later in life. The “me and all my friends are 50 and we think…” is clearly not helpful to OP? So your point is what? To make her feel like shit when she’s about to give birth? Nice one.

Exactly. I'm one of those ridiculous women who had a baby at 45. 17 years later I'm still running, cycling, practicing martial arts and working full time. My dm had babies at 42 & 44, and worked 3 days a week in a charity shop in her 80s.

Concerning that women are exhausted in their 30s.

My first boyfriend’s mum had him in her late 40s. She already had grandchildren. She was (is!) a great mam. His dad was slightly older and died in my ex’s mid 30s but his mam is fit and healthy at nearly 90 (well, independent and no big problems…) my ex is 40 with his own kids.

Im certain she never regretted him, or felt he added anything but joy. He was doted on (too much!)

Babies are definitely hard to keep up with for most people of any age! Especially if you get a bad sleeper. I'm 22 and exhausted! It's brilliant, of course, but definitely knackering too.

Not to say the OP won't manage, I'm sure it'll be amazing.

No need to feel sorry for us. We're just sleep deprived haha.

Personally, I do think it's exhausting, but maybe I'd be the same level of tired at 39 too. It's impossible to say.

Best of luck to you 🥰 by the time I have my 3rd I’ll be 41. I’m expecting it to be a little rocky at first before we get into a good routine (I’ll have a 11 and 14 year old when baby arrives) Women are amazing, you’ve got this! 💪🏻 xx

@Pleasegetmeacoffeesotired so if it’s impossible to say, then why express the speculative opinion to OP without having experienced it? She asked for experiences of older mums. Is it to make her feel bad? How that that help her right now? It seem cruel to me.

We never know what the future holds. Surely easier for a 30 year old to help out an elderly parent than if they were 60 and the parent 80? I’ll be getting on myself when my mum is elderly and I expect that will be hard if I need to help her.

I’d like to add another viewpoint.

Everyone is talking about how keeping active and fit is key.
I’m disabled, use a wheelchair often, have chronic pain, and have severe fatigue and sleep disorders, not to mention autism and likely ADHD. But these factors do not compromise my parenting. You just approach life differently to make sure everyone gets to experience what they want out of it, and everyone is happy. Attitude is everything.

I haven't expressed any speculative opinion. Maybe they're dicks trying to make her feel bad, or maybe they're typing without thinking about how their posts will come across.

It depends if you have a good support network, if you have to work full time etc. I had my second at 40 and he’s 1 now. I’m always tired but I think that’s more due to having 2 now and working full time.

@Star974 do you have a partner, if you do how old? Is there a reason you chose to have a baby in your 50s? Are you set to pay university fees when you are retired?

Sorry to imply you did, I meant it more generally to make a point about the posts coming from all these younger women who haven’t (unlike you) considered that yes, they’re tired at 30, but who’s to say they’d be more tired at 40+, and besides the point, it’s an unhelpful and unasked for opinion that will hurt someone asking for support about to give birth.

I just find it hard to tolerate ignorance mixed with ill intent. That’s the internet though!

Yes, that's true. I was just taking issue with the all the ascertain that there must be something wrong with me because I'm under 30 and tired out by a baby 😂. I see you were just making a point though! Fully agree with you.

She really regrets having a child? That’s very sad for the child.

Some of these women that had babies young just realise that some of us don't have the privilege of being fertile and had to spend years TTC.

I'm 54 and I think I could keep up with a baby. What I might struggle with is having a toddler or young child as single parent and work full time (my situation - I'm divorced with a full time job).

Money makes a big difference at this age. If I could be a SAHM or work part time and afford help in the house, some childcare and/or had a helpful spouse in pretty sure I could manage a baby born at 50.

Similar. I had my first at 34 and just had my second, and second is perfectly healthy. I'm 44 now and baby is 8 months old. The age gap is beautiful. I'm doing two different parts of childhood simultaneously and the older child is nurturing to their sibling, and we're a happy little family looking forward to xmas with a baby. I love the school run so glad to sign up for 10 more years of that.