Social services referral

[Queenxxx]

Hi everyone,

I’m currently pregnant and have two toddlers. I went to another city for a family wedding for a weeek. Whilst I was gone, I lost my phone and so I didn’t see that the midwife had been trying to reach me. I had an appointment during that week that I completely forgot about.( I’ve also missed a few appointments in the past in this pregnancy because I just asrived late or I completely forgot about.)She then went to my house a few times and I obviously wasn’t home so they got really concerned because they couldn’t reach my phone or in person. My upstairs window also has a crack in it . (A couple of weeks ago, I put an electric heater on my bedroom window ledge to help with damp, and it cracked the window I know it was so stupid of me). So the midwife told children’s services and they rang my husband who then got me to talk to them. They told me they’re concerned about me bc the midwife can’t get in touch ect. I cleared everything up and told them me and the kids are completely fine we’ve just not been in for the past week bc of a family wedding ect. She then replied saying just tell us the truth it will be better for you, I was literally sooo confused and shocked thinking wtf is she on about. She then said we’re really concerned and need to see you and your children. I said fine I’m going home today anyway (because it was the last day of the wedding functions) you can come tomorrow. Today morning when they came they were soooo rude. They sat down and said look we’re just gonna be straight with you, your window is broken, you haven’t been answering your phone you missed your appointments. What is going on?! Tell us the truth and if we’re not satisfied we will refer you to social services. So I told them everything, I’m dopey and forgot the appointment date, I didn’t answer phone bc it’s been lost and I wasn’t home bc I was at a wedding. They said why is your window broken so I told them that too. They mentioned that this could put my children at risk and have raised concerns about my housing, including some arrears of £5,000 on housing benefit in my name. I told them that I’m trying to clear it up ect. Anyway I later met the midwife an hour later and she told me that they are referring me to social services

They have said that because of these concerns, they may get more involved and could assign a social worker. I’m scared because I’ve had past issues like depression, and I worry this might be brought up too. I’ve also heard from others that once social services get involved, they don’t leave you alone, which makes me even more anxious.

I’m worried about what this means for me and my children, and I don’t know what to expect next. I’ve tried to make sure everything is safe at home, but I’m feeling overwhelmed by the potential scrutiny.

Has anyone here been in a similar situation with social services? How did it play out, and is there any advice on how to manage the process and protect my family while remaining cooperative?

I know you mean well but the OP is very likely to meet the threshold for intervention. She is homeless, with three small children, has mental health problems, has been unable to work for pregnancy-related health reasons for the last two years, her spouse is not able to live with them because he is on a visa prohibiting any recourse to public funds (eg housing support), and she has a record of consistently missing pregnancy related and infant health appointments and checks. There is also at least one incident of calling the police because an infant was missing, who turned out to be hiding from the adults in the home. This is just what we know from the OP’s posts. It seems self evident that this is a family in need of intervention to ensure that everyone is and continues to be safe and to stabilise the family situation.

OP, please recognise this and accept the help offered - I know you are afraid but if you push the help offered away, it won’t go away, this will trigger more concern.

unfortunately you sound like exactly the sort of person who needs the intervention, and quickly. Your poor children.

You already have children, you are in temporary accommodation, you claim benefits and so won’t get any uc funding for this new baby, you claim to be really ill with HG but constantly miss medical apprehends that could actually help you BUT you are well enough to go on a week long wedding Jolly at the same time.

i feel absolute sympathy for your children being raised in this situation. This “ditziness” is instability and can create real issues for children as they need calm and stability. I can’t imagine what on earth made you think bringing a baby into this mess was a good idea. I really hope you find a way first but please, take the help and support for your children’s sake.