41 weeks and losing control

[Betney]

Hello all!
I'm a FTM and 41 weeks tomorrow. I had my appointment at the hospital today which was supposed to just be CTG and a discussion about induction and be a couple of hours most. After 3 hours of a stubborn and uncooperative baby they finally had a CTG reading they were happy with but with the new rules surrounding inductions, I had a doctor come and basically say if I dont have one im at serious risk of complications (followed by a consultant being more polite saying its completely my choice and im now going to be monitored daily). I was also talked into having a sweep which i never planned on doing but i feel like i was scared into it with how stern the doctor was with not wanting me to get to 42 weeks. I was told i was 1cm dilated but baby is very firmly in my pelvis and in the right position. I then got sent for a scan just to check his growth and all other bits were working fine. 6 hours later we finally got to go home.

Now here's where my struggle is. Baby is fine, we had a scan and they're worried about him being a "big baby" (hes measuring at 9lb) but otherwise there are no concerns about mine or babies health currently. But I feel like I've spent the day being made to feel that 41 weeks is already too far and for me to continue hoping for a natural birth is stupid, despite the fact i categorically do not want to be induced and really hoping for a home birth. I feel I was bombarded with negatives and that if I do wait it out to 42 weeks it's like im trying to kill my baby or something.

I dont know what I'm currently asking, i think its just nice to rant to people who may be in a similar position. If anyone has any nice positives on waiting to 42 weeks and not being pressured into inductions that would be nice. Im so mentally drained and sad after today 😭

I had a baby at 42 weeks, different policy where I was offered induction later than you were, at 41+5 but they were fully booked so had an outpatient induction at 41+6, went on the monitor then went home with a pessary, came back the following day early hours and had baby. No guilt tripping, no issues. Sure I would have been told of the risks if I had refused at 41+5 rather than them not having space for me to be induced! Had previous baby without induction at 41+3, slightly less than average sized babies I just need to gestate longer than others I guess. Hope it all goes well for you, it’s hard being pressured when you have been pregnant so long!

The positives are that you have no reason at all to believe that your baby isn’t thriving.

It’s appalling that you were pressured into having a sweep when you didn’t want one.

When I got to 40 weeks with DS they tried to push an induction (high risk pregnancy) but I had zero complications and there was no medical indication that anything was wrong. I ended up agreeing a date at 41+5 but made it clear that I wasn’t necessarily agreeing to the induction, it was more a case of making sure I had an appointment in if I changed my mind.

I ended up going into labour later that day, but even when I attended the hospital in labour they offered me a sweep (why would I need one then?!) and after a couple of hours offered me an induction (I said to induce what? I’m already in labour!) - DS was born less than 2 hours later.

Trust your gut and the medical indications. If growth starts to slow, movements change, blood flow to the placenta starts to show resistance etc then of course reevaluate your position. In the meantime, look after yourself and trust that baby will come when they’re ready!

Good luck x

I’d recommend the ‘ten month mamas’ facebook group for support with sticking to your guns on ‘post dates’ and also Dr Sara Wickham’s book ‘in your own time’ which has lots of info on due dates and how arbitrary they are and the ‘risks’ of being ‘overdue’.

Im so sorry you’ve been pressured and coerced into having a sweep. Unfortunately your experience is super common. It’s so so hard to withstand the pressure when you’re tired, super pregnant and there’s a massive power imbalance between you and the medical staff.

My baby arrived at 41+1 in the end so I managed to avoid most of the pressure this time, but I remember it with my first (even though she was 40+6) and ended up pressured into a sweep with her.

Rememner you don’t have to go to any of these appointments if you don’t want to. If you’re happy with baby’s movements and just finding appointments stressful, you can just say no and that you’ll discuss next steps with them if and when you get to X date (to suit you).

Firstly there is nothing inherently bad about birthing a large baby. Good position prior to labour and then moving gently in labour (side lying, hands and knees) help. Evidence based birth is good for infor on big babies.
Secondly waiting a little longer to go into labour is fine provided you are keeping an eye on yourself and baby. Any changes check in with the midwife.

Balanced view, two weeks overdue (pleading to deliver at 38, due to my 'perceived' size). Induced at 42 weeks, long, long labour emcs finally massive baby.. A colleague very sadly had a still born at 39 weeks. Given my time again. I would not wait too long.

I have teens and it sounds like things have changed- both were late (number one 9 days and number two 2 days) and I had sweeps with both - are they now deemed to be a bad thing? Induction was never discussed, I think the discussion zone was 10 days over but they'd let you go 14 days over, depending on your borough!

Instinct is a great thing- trust your gut and stay strong to your wishes if you can. And, they are not always right about big babies. I've had friends scared silly with big baby predictions and they've had average sized newborns.

Wishing you the very best - it's a daunting but exciting time.

I had my first DD at 42+1. Had the same pressure you did at 41 weeks to have an induction, which I was really against. When I had finally decided to go for the induction they had no beds for me. Luckily I went into labour naturally. Unfortunately my birth experience was not positive...my baby had a shoulder dystocia and I had a massive tear and pph. Baby was 9lbs. Luckily we were both well in the end but it was very rocky. I often wonder what difference an earlier induction would have made. Due to my own experience I would not have a home birth, although I'm sure any complications would be picked up early enough. Although would continuous monitoring not be recommended?

What did they say about the ctg? There must be a reason they want to do daily monitoring. Tomorrow's recording will be helpful for further discussion.

My DD2 was 2 weeks late. She was slightly overcooked but it was an easy birth. I only pushed 3 times. I had an awesome epidural though. She was a very easy baby.

Sounds like there’s definitely hope of you going into labour naturally soon if you’re 1cm dilated and baby is in a good position. If you and the baby are all fine and your preference is to wait I would definitely do that. That’s what I would do.
With my first I saw my midwife 2 days before my due date, she wouldn’t even try to do a sweep and said she’d see me in 7 days to plan my induction- but I went into labour spontaneously at 40+5 so they never really know how it’s going to go.
Also growth scans are quite inaccurate so I wouldn’t worry too much about having a huge baby.

I am going to preface this by saying I have had no natural births, but two planned maternal request c sections at 39+ something weeks.

I could tell Labour was coming. A good time before it was. I am talking weeks of braxton hicks, minor contracting. I honestly did not think I would get too my C’s both times.

So I don’t know if natural birthing mums had the same. But if you have absolutely no signs at 41 weeks I don’t see how that’s going to naturally spin into action in 5 days.

If that is the case then just try to come to peace with that and think about plans B and C. Many of the mums I met who were most upset by their births were the ones who planned home births, natural and felt this was robbed from them.

I believe there is a concern that the placenta may start to fail if left too long, so just bear that in mind. When I had my first DC a woman in the ward who had been overdue said she was told her placenta was half-dead and any further delay could have harmed the baby.

Hello, sorry to hear about the struggles and sending good energy. Just to say I had my first baby at 39+5. I had accepted a sweep a couple of days before (I was set on natural birth but didn't mind the sweep). I still wonder if the sweep helped to bring labour on - no idea but it going into labour at that time meant I didn't have to deal with the whole induction pressure and we ended up having a lovely water birth. Just my perspective. Don't beat yourself up about having accepted the sweep and trust your instinct otherwise. Onwards and upwards, you'll meet your LO soon I'm sure!

I had induction at 10 days over. But still had an active birth with no other interventions and a healthy DD. Induction is not a failure and if the doctors recommend it, then do listen to them. The NHS doesn’t offer these things for fun.

Is the home birth experience more important than a healthy baby? I don't get why anyone would take the risk that very overdue pregnancies carry. The risk of placenta failure is not one I would personally take over having my "dream birth".

I’d really encourage you to do your own research into risks of being overdue as there are some, but they are very small percentage wise and have to be weighed against the risks of induction and the cascade of intervention.

I’ve had 2 homebirths, (first and second babies), both entirely straightforward and wonderful experiences. My first was 40+6 and back to back, my second was 41+1. Planning a homebirth lowers your risk of interventions even if you end up transferring or birthing in hospital.

There’s no evidence that placentas routinely start to fail at a certain point, and homebirth isn’t inherently a dangerous or risky option. There’s a Facebook group for homebirths in the UK too which is another good source of info and support and where you’ll find likeminded people who want to minimise interventions, avoid indication and promote physiological birth.

Hi OP, this was me 2 year ago. I fell to their pressure and was Induced. Now I wish I had not
And let it happen naturally. Obviously every case is different but i would say if you feel happy to wait . Wait x

No offense but that's really silly advice, nothing is going to happen in five days?
Labour can come on with no signs at all, some women never get Braxton Hicks. Jeepers..
Hang in there OP. It's perfectly normal for a first time baby to go over..get monitored and get stay as relaxed as you can, lots of luck xx

The CTG was mostly fine, midwife wasnt concerned with it. He was asleep first part so i had to push him around and wake him up so they could base his heart rate on movements. The heart rate plummeted at one point but it was while i was speaking to the midwife and he was very obviously moving around while with her but she did have to move the monitor so i dont know if it was just that he moved away from it. Then because his movements caused his heart rate to go up to 170 i had to wait for him to settle back down to his baseline from when he was sleeping.

They're wanting daily monitoring now because they've changed all the rules so they dont want people going past 41 weeks now rather than the 42 weeks it used to be, not necessarily because theres an overriding concern in my pregnancy (which im not aware there is one apart from him measuring at 9lb 1 so they're worried about shoulder dystocia, and because that weight is being judged compared to a growth scan from 28 weeks where he was on the small side so is being treated as accelerated growth). He's still happily kicking around and never given me reason to be concerned about his health, he's just very stubborn 😂

I think I'll have to do the same of agreeing to a date just to make them back off a little bit. All the midwives are happy with me and baby and my midwife warned me before going in that they will probably try and push for induction, just didnt realize how straight to the point she would be about it! All of them I've spoken to are more than happy for me to wait it out because they know with how I've spoken about it I've done my research and aware of the risks, but theres so many risks also associated with being induced to me that it feels mental in my mind that they would push for it so much when baby is doing fine!

I was induced at 12 days over.

I had my dream labour - one dose of gel, labour started 3 hours later, baby born in birthing pool 2.5 hrs after first contraction with just gas and air - still the best moment of my life.

Baby was 3.9kg so just under 9lbs. I had a second degree tear but recovered quickly. Like you I wanted a “natural” birth but there is literally no way my labour/birth experience could have been improved. At this point if they’re advising you should have an induction I would seriously consider it.

ETA for full picture - I was 31 at the time and had a v low risk pregnancy (also first baby). That baby is 7 now and that the time policy was to offer induction at 10 days over so I held out for 2 more days. I was also pretty sure of dates and felt I wasn’t as far along as they said by a few days.

Just be aware to watch out for meconium when your waters break. It’s more common when overdue and usually means you would need to go into hospital for the birth

With dd I was at 41+3 (their dates) 42+5 (my dates) when my forewater broke and meconium was very obvious, so sent into hospital. Hind waters were broken and I was double induced (Pessary & drip) to get baby out, heart monitor attached. Induction failed, I never got past 2cm and her heart rate dropped so ended up with EMCS 19 hours later

At the time I just wanted baby out and safe so didn’t care. I guess it was a bit scary but a healthy baby was all that mattered in the end.

Sorry you had a stressful day, it’s not what you need at all. Hope all goes well in the next few days

Sorry your birth wasn't a positive one! 😔
The leaflet they gave me on shoulder dystocia is very interesting in the findings it gives that makes me not NOT worried about it, but that if it was going to happen it would do anyway.

"More likely with large babies but no difficulty in delivering the shoulders in the majority of babies over 10lbs. Half of all instances occur in babies weighing less that 9lb"
And also says its more likely to occur when being induced.

So basically tells me that whatever weight my baby is, it could happen either way, and your experience may have happened if he came when he did or if he came if did have the induction. The way its treated is all the same no matter where i give birth because its just adjusting baby/my position and they still have any tools needed to assist in that.

The continuous monitoring is just because im 41 weeks now because they dont want people going to 42 weeks anymore and was more the decision of the doctor who is pushing for induction. If i chose to have my usual appointment with my midwife she was happy to allow me to go to 42 weeks before upping the monitoring like it used to be (same as the midwives who i spoke to at the hospital)

Its so hard to decide whats for the best. We need to be able to see into the future to be able to make decisions sometimes!

I was induced with my first at 41+5 and ended up having an emcs at 41+6. Your body, your baby x

Also, with my 2nd and 3rd they kept telling me they were concerned about them being big (I had gestational diabetes). One was 7lb 12.5 and the other was 6lb 12 x