41 weeks and losing control

[Betney]

Hello all!
I'm a FTM and 41 weeks tomorrow. I had my appointment at the hospital today which was supposed to just be CTG and a discussion about induction and be a couple of hours most. After 3 hours of a stubborn and uncooperative baby they finally had a CTG reading they were happy with but with the new rules surrounding inductions, I had a doctor come and basically say if I dont have one im at serious risk of complications (followed by a consultant being more polite saying its completely my choice and im now going to be monitored daily). I was also talked into having a sweep which i never planned on doing but i feel like i was scared into it with how stern the doctor was with not wanting me to get to 42 weeks. I was told i was 1cm dilated but baby is very firmly in my pelvis and in the right position. I then got sent for a scan just to check his growth and all other bits were working fine. 6 hours later we finally got to go home.

Now here's where my struggle is. Baby is fine, we had a scan and they're worried about him being a "big baby" (hes measuring at 9lb) but otherwise there are no concerns about mine or babies health currently. But I feel like I've spent the day being made to feel that 41 weeks is already too far and for me to continue hoping for a natural birth is stupid, despite the fact i categorically do not want to be induced and really hoping for a home birth. I feel I was bombarded with negatives and that if I do wait it out to 42 weeks it's like im trying to kill my baby or something.

I dont know what I'm currently asking, i think its just nice to rant to people who may be in a similar position. If anyone has any nice positives on waiting to 42 weeks and not being pressured into inductions that would be nice. Im so mentally drained and sad after today 😭

Sorry missed that! Im 29 😊

You've had some really odd responses on here OP 😕 glad your appointments have been reassuring. I'm currently 41 weeks with my 4th 'post dates' baby and since my oldest was born (2014) my hospital policy has changed from induction at +12, to +7, back to +13 with monitoring. I believe the NICE guidelines recommend induction by +14, which hospitals can interpret as they choose (check that yourself). I'd really recommend the 'great birth rebellion ' podcast as they go through the studies behind the advice in detail so you can make your own decisions. For example, in the recent 'big baby trial' it was found that 50-60% of babies induced for being 'big' were in fact, not as big as they thought. Of course as you go further and further overdue, the risks gradually increase but induction also carries risk. Personally I've picked a day I feel comfortable being induced from and that's what I'm going to stick to.(That was my midwife's advice) Good luck!

Home birth in healthy pregnancies is just as safe for the baby as a hospital birth, and significantly safer for the mother.
Look up the 2020 Lancet meta-analyses on home birth if you're interested. "Maternal outcomes and birth interventions among women who begin labour intending to give birth at home compared to women of low obstetrical risk who intend to give birth in hospital: A systematic review and meta-analyses"

I’m in favour of home birth but surely a FTM with a baby over 9lbs isn’t the best plan?

I had my baby at 41+2. I accepted sweeps because they didn't seem like a big deal at the time. In hindsight I wish I hadn't, it didn't benefit me it my baby, it just made me anxious and uncomfortable.
I planned a home birth but transferred due to thick meconium. It would have been better and safer for both of us to stay home. In the same situation again, I would not transfer.
My baby was perfectly healthy. Had shoulder dystocia but not because of being post dates, she was 7.5lbs. It probably happened because they forced me into lithotomy. She came out once they changed my position.

Final update from me for anyone who may be interested 😊

Waters broke 4am 29th July. Unfortunately there was thick meconium so midwives suggested we go to the hospital to keep baby under constant monitoring to make sure he was ok. Pretty annoying after spending the previous couple of hours inflating the birthing pool and filling it but never mind!
Turns out it was a good job we were there, his heart rate dropped significantly as my contractions immediately came thick and fast and neither me or baby were getting any sort of recovery in between and we were advised to have a C-section. Although as it rose again was up to me and they were happy to wait but i agreed so that we definitely knew he was ok and safe so up out the sunroof he came and was born at 9:50 at a whopping 10lb 8 😬 glad my vagina didnt have to take the hit on that one 😂

Like I'd said before, home birth was always the preference and the hope but baby comes first and he made sure that we absolutely were not going to have anything i hoped for. Straight into the deep end and everything that could go wrong did but we're both on the other side and doing well 😊

He's so far been both very clingy and very sleepy. We've struggled with mucus thats made him sick and not want to feed during the evening but have given some colostrum through syringe feeding so that he's getting something and hopefully by the morning he'll be back to feeding like a trooper. He's very good at latching when he does want to feed so breastfeeding has so far been easy and painless. Although he's still absolutely a little nightmare and causing trouble whenever he can so who knows how this parenting thing is going to go 😂

Thanks for all the support and love! Some very kind people out there 💛

Congratulations op. Glad everything worked out ok in the end! Enjoy your new baby x

Congratulations OP! Glad you and baby are safe and well even if things didn’t go how you hoped. Well done for making the right decisions for you and your baby. Enjoy the newborn bubble and wishing you a speedy recovery. Sounds like you are smashing the breastfeeding when he’s wanting to!

Yay congratulations! Sounds a similar birth to mine a week ago - stressful with the meconium and heart rate changes but all's well that ends well (also c section here). Enjoy the first days and yay for painless breastfeeding!

Congratulations! Sorry you didn't get the birth you wanted but glad you are all ok. Hope you are not too traumatised - it can all feel very all barbaric when it's not straightforward.

If baby is sleepy then try and strip them off and tickle to wake up to feed, and set an alarm for every 2-3 hours (apologies if you've already been told similar by midwives).

Congratulations! Glad you and baby are well. Hope you get plenty of rest and cuddles over the next few weeks, no chores, and a speedy recovery 😊

Well done OP 👏🏼 Things never go as we plan them, but all is well that ends well ❤️

Congratulations OP!

Congratulations!
You already sound like a wonderful tuned in mother. Wishing you all the best.

Congratulations!!