Found a stretch mark… so upset

[zinrlow]

I want to start by saying I really hope that this doesn’t offend anybody. I know that I am being stupid and how lucky I am to be pregnant but I feel so depressed about this and am desperate for advice or reassurance if possible.

I’m almost 29 weeks pregnant with my first baby. Last night I was putting my creams on and noticed what looks like the beginning of a few stretch marks under my bump on each side. I know it might sound ridiculous but I am absolutely devastated about this, I have been carrying quite small and still don’t look huge for 29 weeks but I just feel so disheartened and am worried that now that they’ve started appearing on bump that they will get worse and turn up everywhere.

It’s weird as I have a few on my thighs and my hips which haven’t bothered me at all, so I don’t know why I feel so different about this. I don’t know what I’m going to gain from this thread but just wanted to share my feelings, it’s been at the back of my mind all day and making me feel so low.

Has anyone ever felt the same?

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I personally think stretch marks are beautiful and just a normal part of pregnancy. I have a load under my boobs that looked really funny at first but I've gotten used to them. Im sure they fade in the future. Try to just focus on the fact your body is doing an amazing thing growing an entire human. It can be a weird time not feeling or looking yourself but be kind to yourself

My stretch marks didn't appear until I was over 35 weeks. I cried my eyes out when they appeared overnight.
But they've gone. Totally faded. I couldn't even tell you now exactly where they were.
So I get you, but I can also tell you it'll be fine. 😊

It’s just a part of pregnancy and perfectly normal and they do fade in time.
you can’t stop them but even so do keep moisturising

There isn’t anything you can do, and this is such a special time in your life that you won’t ever have again, so please try not to worry about the stretch marks and just enjoy your pregnancy x

I used bio oil on my bump every day from my ivf all the way through and didn’t get any even though I was huge. Maybe start now and hopefully it will stop them getting worse and prevent more. I think it heals them too if you get them.

Honestly you need to get a grip! Stretch marks are a beautiful reminder of the life you grew inside you. Try to reframe your thinking.

I got stretch marks at 40 weeks. I was upset because if I had opted for a c-section (offered due to previous birth) I wouldn't have got them. I haven't thought about them for years and they barely show now.

I got mine after I gave birth!

I got to 39 weeks and they appeared out of nowhere, having had none with my first pregnancy. I felt the same - I think it’s society’s expectation that women are to carry children but their bodies should bear minimal evidence of it. It’s totally in achievable. Your body will be different in some ways. I sort of mentally said goodbye to my previous body and accepted that it will never be quite the same again and that’s ok. My husband loves me and fancies me, I know I’m still attractive, even with a few stretch marks on my belly, just not in the way 25 year old pre pregnancy me was. Try to put it in perspective and accept the change - it will be one of many as you enter motherhood x

OP I had quite a few under my bump by the end of- and a couple of years later there is no trace of them at all.

not wanting to reinforce the ‘you can’t complain because other people have it worse’ thing but come on! Some of the threads on the infertility forum will help with perspective. Cherish this lovely time, you are so lucky.

I don't really see them as beautiful or a reminder (I don't need marks on my body to remind me of my children) or as anything to be bothered about. Our bodies change throughout our lives. Pregnancy is just one of those many changes. They're just... normal.

Stretch marks on your tummy are one thing. Wait till you get varicose veins all up your legs. And you’ll feel even worse when you finish breastfeeding and realise you’ve got literally no boobs left.

I’m not trying to be unsympathetic, just that you might need to get used to your body not being your own anymore.

Thanks all. It’s reassuring to read comments from those who have been through the same and said that they can hardly see them now. It’s the tiniest stretch marks, but I’m just worried that now that I’ve got some at 29 weeks that I’m going to end up covered!

Also, I have been very strict with my cream routine to prevent them, so I am evidence that they don’t work 😂

@Xwx1010I think that your comment is quite unfair. Just because there are people out there going through worse, it doesn’t mean that your feelings and struggles are invalid! That’s like saying to a pregnant woman who is suffering with HG that she can’t moan as she’s very lucky to be pregnant.

I stated in my post that I know how lucky I am to be pregnant, I really do. But as somebody who has struggled through her teenage years with eating disorders etc, body image and things like this have a massive impact on my mindset which is why I have come to an anonymous forum for support x

@zinrlow I’d certainly agree if it was not something as silly and insignificant as ‘the tiniest of stretch marks’.

Oh I remember feeling so smug at 31 weeks that I had 0 stretch marks. Roll on 32 weeks and I suddenly had a map of the Mississippi tributaries on the bottom of my bump.

Honestly they fade, you don't notice them once the bump has gone down..

My dc2 bump was huge though and my skin got stretched very thin. It would bleed if I touched it slightly. That has left me with baggy skin which is so much worse than stretch marks but a nice pair of pants it's fine.

I had not a single one until 32 weeks and then ended up wi the loads

What is it that is upsetting you about them?

Not necessarily 😅

2 of my babies were 1lb 5oz and 4lb 9oz..... and my body has never recovered from the stretch marks 😅. Those pregnancies were 12 and 8 years ago and the stretch marks are still very deep.

It just depends on your skin. I have a friend who is having her 7th baby and she has ONE single stretch mark

This is a good thing really. It’s a nice first thing to have to process. Unfortunately the media lies to us A LOT about the effects of pregnancy.
My feet are a whole size bigger, I’m nowhere near my pre-baby weight over 2.5 years later and things just aren’t as perky let’s put it that way.
It was hard to deal with in the beginning because as much as we don’t like to think we are shallow, sudden (and sometimes bizarre and unexpected!) changes to our bodies alongside the sudden changes in our identities by becoming “mum” is just a lot all at once, and not something anyone can prepare you for.
But I promise it does get easier and you’ll start to love and respect your new body for all it’s done.

By the time you’re cutting baby’s 2nd birthday cake it’s unlikely that you’ll notice anything at all without a magnifying glass.

Congratulations.

Telling a pregnant lady to “get a grip” who is struggling with her body image as she undergoes this massive change in her body is just wrong on so many levels.

You do not sound like a pleasant person AT ALL.

If this is your biggest concern in life right now, you’re very lucky. I hear you when you say you’ve struggled with body image - maybe focus on what you want to impart to your child. Do you want them to be body conscious and feel their value is based on what they look like? Do you want your child to be confident and happy? You need to model this so I would wonder about using this time to actively make some changes cognitively, emotionally and psychologically rather than focusing on the perfectly normal physical changes.

Having been a pregnant woman, struggling with body image, very recently, I am certain that giving her head a wobble and getting a grip is exactly what she needs to do. I did this. I feel better. I have reframed my thinking. My whole belly has huge purple marks, but hey - I grew a baby. My baby is healthy and it really isn’t that big a deal.