Found a stretch mark… so upset

[zinrlow]

I want to start by saying I really hope that this doesn’t offend anybody. I know that I am being stupid and how lucky I am to be pregnant but I feel so depressed about this and am desperate for advice or reassurance if possible.

I’m almost 29 weeks pregnant with my first baby. Last night I was putting my creams on and noticed what looks like the beginning of a few stretch marks under my bump on each side. I know it might sound ridiculous but I am absolutely devastated about this, I have been carrying quite small and still don’t look huge for 29 weeks but I just feel so disheartened and am worried that now that they’ve started appearing on bump that they will get worse and turn up everywhere.

It’s weird as I have a few on my thighs and my hips which haven’t bothered me at all, so I don’t know why I feel so different about this. I don’t know what I’m going to gain from this thread but just wanted to share my feelings, it’s been at the back of my mind all day and making me feel so low.

Has anyone ever felt the same?

Once baby is jear you'll forget yo wash your hair never mind worry about stretch marks!

Hi OP, I got stretch marks at 37 weeks and also cried my eyes out. Didn’t help that a week before both my mum and sister had been banging on about not getting any stretch marks when they were pregnant. But the flip side is that my sister had an emergency c section with twins at 34 weeks and I was pregnant for 42 weeks!! Im lucky that I got to experience a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby, even if it came with cosmetic damage. I don’t agree with the other posters that they always disappear - I’m two years post partum and you can still see mine and they still bother me, but they have faded a lot and I would say that in lots of lights they are not noticeable. I think it’s okay to be sad about the changes to your body and to want to minimise it. Lots of other things have changed about my body too and I don’t love it!! I’m pregnant again now and will try to minimise the changes but I’m also more realistic now about what a huge huge ordeal a pregnancy is on a woman’s body, and the respect we owe ourselves for going through these changes over what is really quite a long time - almost a year. Then the breastfeeding and post partum stage is added time. It’s a big sacrifice but sacrifice is a part of being a mum. I admire other women so much now. A practical tip is that the one evidence based cream for preventing (more) stretch marks is something like trofolastin. There are other brands with the same ingredient who’s name I can’t remember but unfortunately bio oil etc won’t do anything to prevent them. I researched it a lot after my last pregnancy as I’m now pregnant again. Also micro needling helps a lot, also with loose skin / skin elasticity (I had a big bump). You’re totally valid for feeling the way you do about stretch marks, but also you’re going to be okay even though you’ve got them :)

Didn’t bother me in the least, but it does you.

Mine faded to almost nothing within about 18 months, both pregnancies (second at nearly 40), if that helps. And I became huge both times.😁

I would just consider that this might not be about stretch marks. I started crying in a shop at a similar time in my pregnancy - I can't really remember why but it was something to do with desert.... I was sobbing for an hour. I think it's such a huge thing you go through mentally and physically and small things might be about bigger things (your body not feeling like it's yours, things never again being the same...).

I was pretty routine with the bio oil and felt like I had escaped (didn't but the have since disappeared) so maybe you are grieving that feeling of control being lost which is a huge deal in pregnancy and early motherhood.

Hey, I remember this feeling well! I remember spotting a few in pregnancy and feeling so apprehensive about that, it was the realisation that my body was changing and it was out of my control. It made me think, what else? But you know what, I love and respect my body more now than when I was pregnant. I wear those stretch marks with absolute pride, they mean strength and life. It's totally normal to feel this way, but I hope this goes some way to reassure you that this feeling will most likely pass. Sending love.

Get. A. Grip.
Of all the things in pregnancy to worry about. Get your priorities right. You clearly have a lot to learn.

Stretch marks are hereditary. Some people will be lucky enough to not get any, others will get lots.
I used all the creams, serums, oils…spent an absolute fortune. I still got stretch marks.
My mum got them, as did my sister.
Its the luck of the draw (and the elasticity in your skin!)

100%
I didn’t use any creams really with my 3rd, didn’t get one stretch mark. However I did get more cellulite on my legs despite being a healthy weight. I also have hair loss post partum, OP you may also have this to deal with too.
Who cares, my body did an amazing thing as I carried 3 babies.

Exactly this. Honestly, if anyone is that het up about getting stretch marks to the point they’re devastated, then they shouldn’t have got pregnant in the first place. It’s highly likely you’re gonna get stretch marks for goodness sake. 🙄

Wow! I can’t believe ppl would post such a shitty message

100% agree! You’re only 29 weeks you have a hell of a long way to go and I’m talking about way way until after the birth. There will be so many changes to your body and if you’re devastated by a stretch mark… You do need to get a grip, you’re bringing an innocent baby into this world. You struggle with body image and pregnancy changes your body so much so maybe speak to a medical professional.

Oh and comparing HG to stretch marks is utterly ridiculous!!

@Torkieshorkie Seems to be lots of people in agreement so I’d be inclined to say it’s not shitty at all just a different, albeit harsher viewpoint - many posters have said outright to ‘get a grip’ - describing this as ‘devastating’ is dramatic.
op also didn’t mention body image until much later either and after my comment - snd comparing ‘the tinest of stretch marks’ to HG is ridiculous.

Seriously, stop ruminating about something so trivial. Life is too short. Enjoy this magical time!

Get a bump band from secret saviours. Worked for
me

I hate this ‘oh but isn’t it all magical, you should be so grateful’ dismissal of women’s feelings when they’re pregnant / have given birth. Ignore it OP.

Your body changing, possibly permanently, is a big thing and it’s entirely normal to feel apprehensive or negative about those changes.

That some people don’t care, doesn’t mean that caring isn’t valid or is shallow in some way.

From what I’ve gathered stretch marks are genetic. You either get them or you don’t with nothing to prevent them whether moisturising or not or carrying big or small.
Stretch marks do fade.
Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well xx

I’m just one person, but I have soooo many stripes, my mother has/had none! She was shocked I had them 🙄. She was very slim, toned and younger when she had me
though. I’m not overweight, but definitely older and less toned! Who knows.

I had big bright red stripes on my bump, she’s 9 now and there’s absolutely no sign, in fact I’d forgotten I even had them. They fade to almost nothing. Enjoy your journey.

Agree, things will get a whole lot worse than a few bloody stretch marks!

I had terrible stretch marks on my thighs as a teen, bright red, livid stripes. Not great when doing PE in just gym knickers!

Weirdly I got none during pregnancy, I assumed I’d have loads. In my research to see if I could stop them I learned that there is no way to prevent them, they occur deep under the surface of the skin and no cream penetrates that deep.

They will fade, OP, but I understand why you’re upset.

@OhHellolittleonecould be your skin from your dads side

Mine appeared after 35 weeks. I also had loads on my boobs as they went up about 3 or 4 cup sizes practically overnight. All of them faded in a few years. I’m 17 years on now and perimenopausal, and the stretch marks are the least of my worries as I navigate the next round of physical changes 😫

Oh, also meant to say- I used bio oil all the way through- obviously didn’t work for me!

Funny that this had literally never occurred to me. His parents died before I was born and he is very slim, so I’ll never know!