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Original poster

Anxious about men on the postnatal ward

82 replies

Unicorntearsofgin · 28/05/2025 11:16

Does anyone have any experience of discharging themselves early from the postnatal ward if it isn’t single sex. I fully appreciate some women need their partners there but the idea is making me incredibly anxious. Do they offer a choose of bays where partners can stay and where they can’t? Any reassurance would be great!

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Original poster
Unicorntearsofgin · 03/06/2025 13:47

Thank you all. I have written in my badger notes so hopefully they will consider.

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Original poster
Unicorntearsofgin · 01/08/2025 18:44

In case anyone else was worried… all was fine. I put it down in my badger notes and they were lovely. I ended up staying in one of the birthing suites as it was quite so had my own shower and toilet and complete privacy.

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MJxJones · 01/08/2025 18:56

Congratulations!

Nimnuan · 01/08/2025 19:33

roshi42 · 28/05/2025 13:18

Yeah, as a single woman giving birth I hated this. I understand it was helpful to the other women to have their partners with them, but having to be in a room with men all night wasn’t my first choice.

To people saying you stay in your cubicle with the curtain closed - no, you don’t. You have to get up and walk post c-section and walk to the loo. Heavily bleeding everywhere and with your legs only just coming back to life. And you use the same loos as the men. You have to walk to the hallway for the loo and breakfast in the morning.

In fairness, plenty of the doctors and surgeons etc were male too! None of the midwives when I gave birth. It was all completely fine in the end, and the fathers were all focused on their own families, but it wasn’t my first choice and I’d have chosen single sex if I could. Would have had to pay for a private room though (not that much, a couple hundred) and only if one’s free.

Would definitely disclose / speak to midwife about it in advance - they give people single rooms for all sorts of reasons, it might well be possible for this.

I wish they could have two separate post natal wards, one where men can stay overnight and one where they're not allowed at all.
I hated being alone and separated from my husband. Would have got my boobs out in front of any number of random men if required.
At the same time I absolutely understand why many/most women don't want to be anywhere near strange men while recovering!
Private rooms would be so much better.

SpringSpruce · 01/08/2025 19:35

Unicorntearsofgin · 28/05/2025 12:07

Wonder if maybe I’ll be better just discharging myself. There is no way I’d be able to relax sleeping on a ward only separated by a curtain from random men. I didn’t really want to disclose trauma to my midwife but perhaps I’ll have to. I assumed there would be a choice of bays with and without partners.

Disclose it, she can likely at least attempt to arrange a single bay for you.
A friend of mine with PND with her second, following PPD after her first, had her own room for her second as she didn't feel she would be comfortable asking nurses for support or talking openly around unknown mums.

SpringSpruce · 01/08/2025 19:39

Nimnuan · 01/08/2025 19:33

I wish they could have two separate post natal wards, one where men can stay overnight and one where they're not allowed at all.
I hated being alone and separated from my husband. Would have got my boobs out in front of any number of random men if required.
At the same time I absolutely understand why many/most women don't want to be anywhere near strange men while recovering!
Private rooms would be so much better.

Show quote history

It's such a tricky thing to meet everyone's needs, I would have hated having a room by myself and felt being in with other women made me less anxious overnight when DH couldn't stay, and also stopped it feeling as lonely.
With my first there was a lovely mum opposite who gave me some advice with breastfeeding too and just generally made it feel less lonely.
And with my second when a lady who wasn't able to stand alone yet dropped her buzzer in the night and was calling for help I was able to get a nurse for her.

Susie2309 · 10/01/2026 22:34

There are lots of men on my ward and understandably helping their partners who are poorly or not be mobile.

I didn’t get to pack my bag unfortunately and think through my Pajama choices. No one has been mean or disrespectful but I would have felt more comfortable if I thought through my night clothing choices. I would have gone more the traditional cotton baggy pjs, rather than button down nightgowns and anything in the soft skims material that hugs the body too much.

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