My boyfriend will go mad I am pregnant

Emmarose9 · 2025-05-23T18:16:40+00:00

The back story is that I had to terminate a pregnancy early on in our relationship. It was one of the most difficult decisions and as a couple it really caused some issues. It was too soon for us. It has also been a fear of my boyfriend’s, inasmuch trusting sex to be safe. It is also a fear of mine too. I am on the pill but have been extremely poorly with a virus and d&v. During this time we had sex- bf maintained he didn’t ejaculate inside me. I thought I was being paranoid afterwards what with fatigue, slight nausea, weird taste in my mouth and cramps. I kept telling myself the chances were so so small it couldn’t possibly happen. It did. I’m pregnant. Slap bang after everything we have been through. I still don’t get how apart from the obvious. It is so soon after everything else we experienced. He will likely never believe me it was an accident, trust me again or want the baby. I don’t even know how to tell him this use.

ExceedinglyCharacteristic · 23/05/2025 19:21

No responsible man has sex with a woman who is taking the pill but has D and V, so lessening its efficacy in preventing pregnancy without a condom . I mean, two people are equally responsible for this pregnancy.

Ponderingwindow · 23/05/2025 19:21

What a lovely man you are dating.

if a man is concerned about pregnancy, he should use a condom every single time. He chose to have sex without a second form of birth control.

It sounds like he will blame you for this problem, but he is equally responsible. You owe him no apologies. You do not need to spend any energy listening to his complaints.

If he offers anything other than support while you make YOUR decision about YOUR body, then he needs to step away for now. If you continue the pregnancy, he gets to make decisions again after the baby is born.

DorothyStorm · 23/05/2025 19:22

It has also been a fear of my boyfriend’s, inasmuch trusting sex to be safe

and did he use condoms? What form of contraception did he use to endure sex was safer?

who actually wanted to have sex, without a condom, when you had Vomiting and Diarrhoea????

Im leaning towards End the relationship.

Flashahah · 23/05/2025 19:23

ExceedinglyCharacteristic · 23/05/2025 19:21

No responsible man has sex with a woman who is taking the pill but has D and V, so lessening its efficacy in preventing pregnancy without a condom . I mean, two people are equally responsible for this pregnancy.

First post ….. nailed it

andtheworldrollson · 23/05/2025 19:24

Echo the others - if he didn’t want a baby he needs to wear a condom at the very least. Natural methods like pulling out are just not reliable. At all. He messed up and you fear he will blame you ? Not a good relationship

Motherofalittledragon · 23/05/2025 19:25

Well he played a part in this too, if he’s so fearful of a pregnancy he should of worn a condom.
doesn’t help you I know, but he can’t moan and lay all of this on your doorstep.

SingtotheCat · 23/05/2025 19:26

Keep the baby, if you want it?
Definitely get rid of the man.

Original poster

Emmarose9 · 23/05/2025 19:34

Yeah, you’ve all said what I secretly know deep down. Sure, the odds seem impossibly low but it still happened as it did before. I hate to doubt him before I give him the chance but history tells me he will blame me and want me to not go ahead, or make out like I wanted this to happen. It’s like he automatically thinks the worst always.
What’s the worst that can happen? Already been there so might as well let him know and be prepared to it alone. Hell no doubt say he didn’t agree to have a baby with me and get all s*y

OP posts:

Cityofangels25 · 23/05/2025 19:36

Emmarose9 · 23/05/2025 19:34

Yeah, you’ve all said what I secretly know deep down. Sure, the odds seem impossibly low but it still happened as it did before. I hate to doubt him before I give him the chance but history tells me he will blame me and want me to not go ahead, or make out like I wanted this to happen. It’s like he automatically thinks the worst always.
What’s the worst that can happen? Already been there so might as well let him know and be prepared to it alone. Hell no doubt say he didn’t agree to have a baby with me and get all s*y

It doesn’t matter even if you did want it to happen because the long and short of it is he should be wearing a condom if he doesn’t want a baby

Sassybooklover · 23/05/2025 19:44

Having sex, means there's always a chance of pregnancy, even if contraception is used. No contraception is 100% safe. If your boyfriend didn't want to be a Dad, then he should have used a condom. He's as much responsible for contraception, as you. In all honesty, you should have known that having D&V would have lessened the effectiveness of your Pill, and a condom needed to be used. You need to make a decision regarding the pregnancy, and if you want to continue with it.

ZebraPrintt · 23/05/2025 19:51

My thoughts exactly... He shouldve took some responsibility and wore a condom. Now hell have to take some responsibility for his actions. Do you want a baby with him?

Original poster

Emmarose9 · 23/05/2025 19:56

@ZebraPrintt I do love him. Our relationship has been complicated and we have been trying to make a go of it properly. I know I can’t go through what I did again, so there isn’t another option other than keeping it.

OP posts:

SloppyThePoodle · 23/05/2025 20:03

You loving him doesn't give him free reign to treat you badly. It takes 2 to make a baby. He sounds awful and you're better off without. Relationships shouldn't be complicated, they should improve your life. This one doesn't seem to be doing that at all.

ResidentPorker · 23/05/2025 20:04

If you have sex without a condom, you're trying for a baby.

GivingUpFinally · 23/05/2025 20:07

Op it sounds like you've made your mind up. Which is the best decision for you based on your pervious personal history.

Now, you have to come to terms about raising this child on your own (potentially) and possibly without any help from him. Physically or financially. Definitely pursue CMS if he is unwilling. It's about what's best for your baby.

It sucks. You shouldn't be in this position where you feel scared and ashamed that you've fallen pregnant. He must understand that even with hormonal contraception there's always a chance sex may result in a baby. If he doesn't, then he's a moron and you're much better off without him.

If your mind is made up, it's time to to start planning what ypur future will look like and how best to tell him. If you're scared to do it in person, do it over the phone or via text. At least by text you'll have everything in writing.

Good luck and however he responds remember you have the power of choice. But you also have to realise so does he in a more limited way.

DorothyStorm · 23/05/2025 20:10

A complicated relationship is not a healthy relationship.

the worst that can happen is varied. One option is he stays and makes the rest of your life miserable, and you have damaged your career, pension, savings, housing situation and so are stuck with him in misery.

A second option is he leaves, doesnt do any parenting, doesnt pay a penny and your career is damaged, you cannot work at the rate you need to do, and you raise the child in near poverty.

A third option is he leaves and wants to have the child 50/50, doesnt pay a penny, but wont do any actual parenting, everything is on his terms, you cannot work at the rate you need to work as he drops his responsibilities frequently and without warning.

what do you think is the best outcome or the lost likely outcome?

im still struggling to understand why you would actually want to have sex with d&v?

Greenegrey · 23/05/2025 20:11

Of course he should have been responsible for his own contraception but you're naïve to think he would.

Ditch this one

ZebraPrintt · 23/05/2025 20:12

Emmarose9 · 23/05/2025 19:56

@ZebraPrintt I do love him. Our relationship has been complicated and we have been trying to make a go of it properly. I know I can’t go through what I did again, so there isn’t another option other than keeping it.

No I totally get that, I just more wondered if you wanted a baby with him. You don't need to do this with him. I guess once you've told him his reaction will be everything. I hope it all works out for you whatever happens x

Doggielovecharlotte · 23/05/2025 20:13

ResidentPorker · 23/05/2025 20:04

If you have sex without a condom, you're trying for a baby.

This. Are you thinking unconsciously you did wnat one?

Pinkissmart · 23/05/2025 20:14

Jesus.

I can't even write out a proper response. He has sex with you when you're ill, and now will blame you? Like you consciously rejected the pill hormones and somehow willed your egg to welcome in a sperm cell.

What an absolute ass

Original poster

Emmarose9 · 23/05/2025 20:24

@Pinkissmart pretty much. I felt marginally better, enough to have sex but I had been unwell at least 3-4 days before and then wasn’t ok the following days.
oh yeah, he’s going to hit the roof. I’d like to report back in a few days with the news he surprised me and I feel a bad person for saying and thinking this. Unlikely

OP posts:

CarrieLite · 23/05/2025 20:24

OP unless you've been impregnated by another man he has absolutely no right to be angry! He's a dick if he's angry with you. It takes two to make a baby.

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 23/05/2025 20:27

Before you tell him make sure you have somewhere safe to go if it becomes unsafe to be around him, emotionally or physically.

Remember there are services like womens aid you can contact if he makes things ugly, I know he might not but if he insists he didn't ejaculate then expect the worst that he will blame you to avoid accountability.

Don't let him manipulate you.

Walk away from the discussion if it stops being a discussion and just becomes a lecture, or worse.

ItsStillWork · 23/05/2025 20:29

How long has it been since your termination?

im just wondering why he would go mad and if it’s very soon after and that’s the reason why

pimplebum · 23/05/2025 20:30

How dare him come inside you then get arsey with you !!!!

you are both divs for getting pregnant twice in a rocky relationship

do not take shit from him

congratulations and wishing you well