My boyfriend will go mad I am pregnant

[Emmarose9]

The back story is that I had to terminate a pregnancy early on in our relationship. It was one of the most difficult decisions and as a couple it really caused some issues. It was too soon for us. It has also been a fear of my boyfriend’s, inasmuch trusting sex to be safe. It is also a fear of mine too.
I am on the pill but have been extremely poorly with a virus and d&v. During this time we had sex- bf maintained he didn’t ejaculate inside me. I thought I was being paranoid afterwards what with fatigue, slight nausea, weird taste in my mouth and cramps. I kept telling myself the chances were so so small it couldn’t possibly happen. It did. I’m pregnant. Slap bang after everything we have been through. I still don’t get how apart from the obvious. It is so soon after everything else we experienced. He will likely never believe me it was an accident, trust me again or want the baby.
I don’t even know how to tell him this use.

To be fair, both were so irresponsible here to not use barrier contraception. She should never have trusted him to not cum…and precum can cause pregnancy too.

I genuinely blame them both here, not just boyfriend.

We don’t live together and the termination was A year ago.

Oh ffs pulling out is not contraception.

This. Both equally responsible and common knowledge that D&V will reduce the effectiveness of oral contraception. It was astonishing that you didn’t use a condom, being that you were both desperately wishing to prevent pregnancy.

So, with that in mind, you should feel worried about telling him. He had an equal part and should have used a condom.

The fact that he might hit the roof is a huge red flag-he sounds like an arsehole.

Exactly! The result of us using the pull out method is 19 this year!

I
meant you shouldn’t feel worried about telling him

You were both irresponsible.

You are pregnant now. He doesn't have to like it. His time for action is over. His swimmers have swam. If he doesn't want an unwanted pregnancy he's responsible for strapping it up.

Unfortunately, he doesn't really sound like much of a catch. He may think you've trapped him but I wonder what bargin he thinks you've bagged. Realistically, you're the one who will be left holding the baby and force to coparent with a dickhead.

I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of reacting. Ditch him and keep the baby.

Not say anything???

I would ditch him first and from a comfortable distance, consider telling him. It feels like you see yourself as powerless and just waiting for his anger and criticism.

A quick google suggests the pull out method results in 1 in 5 getting pregnant. Your pill won’t have been offering any protection after being ill that long.
I’m sorry for you it’s put you in a difficult situation but I think you’ve been very naive thinking it was low risk.

I know 😩😢

Fgs op! Don't keep him, let him go now. This is ridiculous and he sounds like a ridiculous person. But my strongest advice would be don't keep the baby either. You don't want to be embroiled with him for the rest of your life do you? You know he won't support you or the baby and will make things as difficult for you as possible. And do you really want his crappy genes for your child?

Maybe he did it on purpose to trap you. Far more likely considering he is the one who controls whether sperm enters your body. Perhaps start with that accusation rather than sitting around waiting for him to accuse you.

Leave and don't tell him. Do you really want a man like that in the baby's life?

I know you love him but sometimes you have to pretend to be your sensible mother and parent yourself. He doesn’t seem like good long term partner material, you are already afraid of communicating difficult news to him, with expectations of being blamed. Assuming you have the measure of his personality, he may always resent you and your child. Personalities like that often get worse with age and when a child comes into the mix.

Are you prepared to be a single mum? Because that’s what you need to decide on, it sounds as though this relationship needs to end whatever he says about the baby. So if you decide to go ahead and have the baby you need to decide if you’re willing and able to do it alone.

How old are you OP? Can I ask what it is about the first termination that you found so difficult given you chose to have it?

Have an abortion and leave this awful relationship.

Don't tie yourself to this horrible man for the rest of your life. And that potential poor child to have such a horrible man for a father. Smarten up and move on.

I would tell him (unless you fear for your safety) but absolutely DO.NOT.APOLOGIZE. If you want to keep the baby, do. It's your body and you will do the bulk of parenting regardless if he sticks around or not. The ball is in his court if he wants to be the decent man and step up to be a father. You can't control that and it's not your fault if he's incapable.

If you tell him someplace neutral in public, that might be best. Do it in a park or someplace where a trusted friend or parent is nearby. Tell him your plans and see what he does. He'll give you the answer.

Oh, and my DD1 was the pullout method. He's an idiot if he thinks this is somehow your fault.

I actually agree with this. Protect yourself and your baby from the selfish twat: he's got some pretty nasty red flags...

Good grief, have a termination and get rid of this man. Why do so many women insist on having babies with terrible men?

He sounds fucking horrible. I think the MN jury often far too quickly jumps to LTB, but in this case I agree. Throw this one back in the sea. You should not be fearful of his irrational anger and blame in this way, with him taking zero responsibility both when he wanted sex (as PPs have said if he’s that worried he should wear a condom or even refrain….no contraceptive is 100% reliable so every time he has sex even with the pill AND a condom there is still a chance this could result in pregnancy) and then again (as you suspect) when you tell him you are pregnant. How do you think you could build a life and raise a family with someone like that? Is it always going to jump to blame you for things, take no responsibility for his actions/part in things, and get angry with you? Are you going to live your life in fear of his reactions? Leave him, then tell him when you are ready and have decided what you want to do.

@Glamgenzmami 33. I had a termination a year ago after it was just too soon. We had been together a few months