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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Bf wants to go abroad

59 replies

CareBear12 · 28/04/2025 18:36

Bf wants to go abroad when I’ll be heavily pregnant. I’ve said to him you can’t actually expect to go still Ill need you here to help and support me he said it’ll be two weeks you’ll be fine. I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable? He’ll be going with his dad but I feel like it’s just the wrong time. It’s not like this pregnancy has come out of nowhere either he’s been trying to get me pregnant the past few months, before his holiday was even a thought. I’ve also had two chemical pregnancies before this one and hes told me many occasions how much he wants to be a dad. And now it’s happening he seems to think going on his holiday is a good idea? Turns out his holiday wasn’t even actually booked, he knew i was pregnant and I think has gotten his father to book it since. Any advice? Am I being unreasonable. I don’t know what to do. I did say to my partner I don’t feel like it’s the right time now but said hes happy and wants the baby. I feel like no one else would do this to their partner they’d want to be there to support them incase anything happened but he just wants to go on his holiday. I can’t help but feel like this sets the tone for how parenting might be, I’m constantly going to have to do the heavy lifting while he does what he likes. I’ve explained to him he needs to prioritise and being a parent means making sacrifices, but he said he’s still going. And when I spoke to him about it again today told me to just get rid of it. Said he’s not putting up with me like this for 9 months.

OP posts:
shellyleppard · 28/04/2025 18:38

Get rid of the boyfriend, he sounds hopeless. How far along will you be when he's on holiday??

MumChp · 28/04/2025 18:40

So his holiday is more important than his family. And his dad supports it?
Start preparing a future for you and your baby.

ChocoChocoLatte · 28/04/2025 18:43

Well isn’t he a prince amongst men - throw that one back.

Outofthepan · 28/04/2025 18:45

Is there any special reason for the holiday, or it being at that time?

SummerFeverVenice · 28/04/2025 18:51

Define. “heavily pregnant”?
If it’s 36weeks or later, YANBU
If it’s twins and 32 weeks or later, YANBU
If you’re high risk, YANBU

Other than that, if it’s a normal pregnancy and by “heavily pregnant” you mean more than a month before your due date YABU. I’d be saying Ciao! Have fun while you can before baby arrives.

CareBear12 · 28/04/2025 19:25

shellyleppard · 28/04/2025 18:38

Get rid of the boyfriend, he sounds hopeless. How far along will you be when he's on holiday??

Baby’s due 2 jan he’ll be going January. Not sure on date yet

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CareBear12 · 28/04/2025 19:26

Outofthepan · 28/04/2025 18:45

Is there any special reason for the holiday, or it being at that time?

It was just a random holiday

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CareBear12 · 28/04/2025 19:27

SummerFeverVenice · 28/04/2025 18:51

Define. “heavily pregnant”?
If it’s 36weeks or later, YANBU
If it’s twins and 32 weeks or later, YANBU
If you’re high risk, YANBU

Other than that, if it’s a normal pregnancy and by “heavily pregnant” you mean more than a month before your due date YABU. I’d be saying Ciao! Have fun while you can before baby arrives.

Well baby’s due January 2nd. He’ll be going January.

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shellyleppard · 28/04/2025 19:28

The problem is if the baby comes early he won't be here to help?? Not that he sounds much help....

CareBear12 · 28/04/2025 19:31

MumChp · 28/04/2025 18:40

So his holiday is more important than his family. And his dad supports it?
Start preparing a future for you and your baby.

His dad doesn’t even know I’m pregnant yet so he’s not to blame. Boyfriend knew I was pregnant though and holiday wasn’t even booked, think it might be now. Told me if I’m gonna be stressed for 9 months about this then he can’t do it. Wants me to get rid

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CareBear12 · 28/04/2025 19:32

shellyleppard · 28/04/2025 19:28

The problem is if the baby comes early he won't be here to help?? Not that he sounds much help....

I’ve tried explaining this. And he’s proved he’s not good at answering his phone so if I needed him he won’t even see it. Plus he’ll be in another country what good is the help if it’s in another country. I just feel so alone I’m already so nervous as I’ve had 2 chemical pregnancies already

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CatchHimDerry · 28/04/2025 19:32

CareBear12 · 28/04/2025 19:31

His dad doesn’t even know I’m pregnant yet so he’s not to blame. Boyfriend knew I was pregnant though and holiday wasn’t even booked, think it might be now. Told me if I’m gonna be stressed for 9 months about this then he can’t do it. Wants me to get rid

I’d get rid alright… of him

DecafDodger · 28/04/2025 19:33

CareBear12 · 28/04/2025 19:27

Well baby’s due January 2nd. He’ll be going January.

I wanted to say U about heavily pregnant, but what he is proposing is leaving a newborn and a wife who has most likely just given birth??

Radiatorvalves · 28/04/2025 19:34

I’m pretty relaxed about partners being away (DH was in the navy) but your bf is totally unreasonable. Id be saying cheerio. For good.

Outofthepan · 28/04/2025 19:35

He’s totally unreasonable in that case

Stickortwigs · 28/04/2025 19:39

I was going to say it’s so hard to get the opportunity to do anything alone once a baby arrives that I’d welcome a last holiday.

But if you’re due on the 2nd and he’s going in January, that’s not heavily pregnant - that’s more like in labour or with a new born!

SunsetCocktails · 28/04/2025 19:39

The thing is, you can only just have conceived if the baby is due January 2nd, so this could also unfortunately end in a miscarriage. It’s very early days. Also doesn’t sound like a great relationship to me.

Coconutter24 · 28/04/2025 19:40

Does it have to be January? Can you ask for a compromise and he go early like November or beginning of December?

CareBear12 · 28/04/2025 19:41

SunsetCocktails · 28/04/2025 19:39

The thing is, you can only just have conceived if the baby is due January 2nd, so this could also unfortunately end in a miscarriage. It’s very early days. Also doesn’t sound like a great relationship to me.

Which is why I haven’t asked him to cancel it as of yet. It wasn’t even booked. He could have held fire I just wanted to see if we was on the same page when it came to the later months but clearly not

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DPotter · 28/04/2025 19:45

You don't sound convinced having a child was a good idea and he's not behaving as if he'll be a thoughtful, liable helpful partner and father.

I'd certainly ditch the bf and plan to be a single Mum.

CareBear12 · 28/04/2025 19:48

DPotter · 28/04/2025 19:45

You don't sound convinced having a child was a good idea and he's not behaving as if he'll be a thoughtful, liable helpful partner and father.

I'd certainly ditch the bf and plan to be a single Mum.

theres just too much going on at the moment and all I wanted was some reassurances that he’s going to be here to support me. Not me being alone. He told me you can go touch your mums for 2 weeks. It’s not my mother’s responsibility and secondly I believe my mum had a cruise planned around that time for her 50th birthday that her partner wanted to take her on. She’ll probably cancel because she’ll want to be there to support me and not miss the birth of her grandchild but I just don’t understand why my partner and father to my child wouldn’t do the same

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Lulu89x · 28/04/2025 19:53

So it sounds like you’re still in the very early stages of pregnancy. Whether you go ahead with the pregnancy or not or if the pregnancy progresses, do you want to stay with a person like that? I certainly wouldn’t.

I am very anti abortion due to poor decisions however I would not want to be tied to a person like that and I would really think twice about counting down this road.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 28/04/2025 22:06

I thought you were being unreasonable if less than 8 months pregnant and if he has otherwise been helpful, then I saw the last two lines and thought what a nasty bastard I would consider LTB. If you don't think he'll be kind and look after you when you're at your most vulnerable then go stay with your mum or someone else kind x

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 28/04/2025 22:09

Sounds from the dates like you're very newly pregnant.
He could move his holiday forward so he doesn't miss baby being born? But he sounds so nasty.
It's horrid he said 'get rid' but if he's this nasty then I would think carefully about going ahead - I had a baby with a nasty prick like him who only turned really nasty once I was pregnant and he walked out on me completely at 35 weeks.

Darkambergingerlily · 28/04/2025 22:11

Sounds like he would miss birth and newborn stage which is different from leaving you 7 months pregnant for example, which I think would be fine