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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Bf wants to go abroad

59 replies

CareBear12 · 28/04/2025 18:36

Bf wants to go abroad when I’ll be heavily pregnant. I’ve said to him you can’t actually expect to go still Ill need you here to help and support me he said it’ll be two weeks you’ll be fine. I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable? He’ll be going with his dad but I feel like it’s just the wrong time. It’s not like this pregnancy has come out of nowhere either he’s been trying to get me pregnant the past few months, before his holiday was even a thought. I’ve also had two chemical pregnancies before this one and hes told me many occasions how much he wants to be a dad. And now it’s happening he seems to think going on his holiday is a good idea? Turns out his holiday wasn’t even actually booked, he knew i was pregnant and I think has gotten his father to book it since. Any advice? Am I being unreasonable. I don’t know what to do. I did say to my partner I don’t feel like it’s the right time now but said hes happy and wants the baby. I feel like no one else would do this to their partner they’d want to be there to support them incase anything happened but he just wants to go on his holiday. I can’t help but feel like this sets the tone for how parenting might be, I’m constantly going to have to do the heavy lifting while he does what he likes. I’ve explained to him he needs to prioritise and being a parent means making sacrifices, but he said he’s still going. And when I spoke to him about it again today told me to just get rid of it. Said he’s not putting up with me like this for 9 months.

OP posts:
milkshakeman · 29/04/2025 11:54

How old are you both OP? In reality you’re about 2-3 weeks pregnant so your due date is going to be completely different. You could be heavily pregnant or you could have a newborn. He’s likely not even thinking about the reality of there being a baby and mother than will need caring for. Is this a relationship you really want to continue?

thinktwice36 · 29/04/2025 11:56

summerscomingsoon · 29/04/2025 11:54

'he’s been trying to get me pregnant the past few months'

did you have any say in the matter?

It all sounds very weird or you are very young or both.

This....

SJM1988 · 29/04/2025 11:57

I think you have a whole biggest picture to worry about than him going on holiday when you are due or just after.

You only just found out (must be days) and he's already told you to 'get rid' so I highly doubt he is going to be partner or dad of the year when the time comes

Leave and be a single mum if you want to keep the baby.

nopineapplepizza · 29/04/2025 12:32

When you have a new born, you want your partner to use all their paternity and annual leave on being with the baby and creating a good bond (as well as caring for their partner who has just given birth).

He just doesn’t seem like parent material.

He's happy to have sex without protection, but he’s also happy to book a holiday for the time when you’re quite possibly going to be in labour &/or have a newborn.

Hes happy clearly plans on being an absent father from the off, so only have this baby if you’re confident you can raise them alone 🤷‍♀️

Mudflaps · 29/04/2025 12:38

You've a choice to make, you either do not go ahead with the pregnancy or you prepare to be a single parent, in both cases I think you need to make the decision asap. Abuse usually starts or increases when a woman is pregnant or after having a child and he's giving you clear indicators of how he's going to treat you going forward. In either case you need to dump him, he's not a good person now and won't suddenly become one.

HowToBuy · 29/04/2025 12:59

Honestly, if I was in your shoes, I would terminate. This is not a person I would want to have a child with. He told you to ‘get rid of it’ because he wants to go on holidays? Like, are you fucking kidding me? No concern or consideration for the fact that you will either be heavily pregnant or have a brand new baby. Doesn’t want to be there, has simply just told you to go to your mothers’?

Obviously what you do is completely your own choice, and yours only, not his. But just keep in mind that having a child with this man, whether you stay together or not, will make your life infinitely more difficult, upsetting and stressful. This man is not father material.

ginasevern · 29/04/2025 13:32

He sounds vile OP. Get rid of him ands seriously consider if going through with this pregnancy is a good idea. He's behaving like a fucking 16 year old (maybe he is?) Crying and thanking you for making him a dad sounds immature and like he's trying to prove himself with some male fantasy. Seriously - get him out of your life.

SummerFeverVenice · 01/05/2025 15:35

CareBear12 · 28/04/2025 19:27

Well baby’s due January 2nd. He’ll be going January.

Ugh, what a sorry excuse for a man. It’s not even a grey area, he should not even be thinking of being gone.

redphonecase · 01/05/2025 23:02

How many times does he have to tell you that he's going to be a shit father before you listen. You have 3 options:

Leave and be a single parent
Leave and terminate
Stay and keep the baby and be back here in a year moaning about how she's never changed a nappy

I'd go with the second one start afresh and pick better next time

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