Giving my son a 'girl' name

[Bowa]

I am due soon to give birth soon to my first child who will be a boy. I struggled to think of any boy names that felt right. I had a long list for girl names, but I couldn't think any for if I had a son.

I found out I was having a boy at my 16 weeks scan and I still couldn't find a name that felt right at the time. Kinda like a missing puzzle piece if that makes sense.

A few weeks later, I was thinking about a movie I loved since childhood and one of the main characters (the character is male) and something clicked and I knew that was the name I wanted for my son. It felt perfect and exactly what I was looking for. I became excited and looked into how I could make things with his name for the nursery, nicknames and that.

I haven't told anyone what name I picked out for him as I wanted to get everything ready beforehand. I have also had some 'complications', so it felt like bad luck if I told people his name before he was born. When I'm by myself, I talk to my son and I will use his name then.

I was looking at something and saw the name I picked for my son. It had a few different spellings, but what stuck out was that apparently it's used more as a girl name. It didn't say anything about it being a unisex name. I assumed because the character who had the name was male (and refers to himself as a male) that it was wasn't a girl's name or maybe it could be a unisex name. Even the way it is pronounced sounds more masculine than feminine.

I feel conflicted. I can't think of any other name that feels right for him (he has middle names that are boy names), but I don't want him to be picked on if people knew it was used more for a girl. I have an unusual first name, so I have experiences with people not spelling it correctly or pronouncing it right.

His name isn't common for this area either, so I don't think anyone would assume it is used more as a girl name and the way it is pronounced is easy.

I know people have named their daughter with names that are more boy/unisex sounding like: Blake, Parker, Dylan, Toni etc.

His name isn't like: Daisy, Penelope, Sophia, Jane etc.

Would it be OK to stick with the name even if it's used more for a girl?

I assume you are in the US?

in the UK, Ashley is very much a boys name. It is possible to give to a girl but very rare and would be considered very American

My DD has a more feminine sounding name but that’s used more (almost exclusively) for boys. No one’s ever commented or said anything, she’s become her name and it’s just her. I wouldn’t worry, as soon as someone gets to know the person with the name they just see the person not the name

@Zanatdy”I really wouldn’t. It’s much easier for girls to pull off boys name than the other way round. Why saddle your son with the possibility of years or ridicule. Imagine dreading someone asking you what your name is? Don’t do it.”

And isn’t that depressing!

In the states I have heard of guys called Dorothy and Shirley. I was particularly amused by a burly redneck called Shirley!

The only Indiana I know is a girl. And DDs name ends in -ana pronounced arna so it’s definitely a girl thing.

I’m just here for the name update from @Bowa. I know two pregnant people considering Jesse for a boy, so that’s my guess.

I've known a male Shirley and a male Beverley, doesn't bother me, although I don't know what their childhood experience was as I only met them as adults.

This was my pre-chosen name for my newborn, but when i found out it means 'queen' and he was a boy, i decided against it. He has a clear boy name now, and i think its better that way.

157 replies so far and the OP still hasn’t told us what the name is. Pointless thread.

I rewatched free willy while pregnant with DS and really wanted to name him Jesse, everyone said it was a girls name. I ended using a different name for other reasons, but still love Jesse for a boy. I think as long as its not an obvious girls name, you should be okay. But as pp has said, hard to judge unless we know the name

If it’s Jesse it’s pretty common.

Every boy i knew at school got bullied ruthlessly if they had a female name. One kid in particular, Lesley, also had a Dad who was a dustman in the village. In the eighties this was fair game for the kids. He tried to take his own life at 15, he was bullied so bad.

I didn’t know this! Thank you!

Ashley, Ashleigh ?

Jessie, as in short for Jessica is a girls name.

Jesse has always been a boys name. It just is more frequently used in the US and used rarely in the UK. I actually really like it for a boy and wouldn’t think it was a girls name.

Logan?
I haven’t RTWT, but in case it hasn’t been mentioned - people saying ‘Sue’ are probably referencing the Jonny Cash song ‘A Boy named Sue’
Worth a listen, OP.

Spodo Komodo

Is the name Jessie? After free willy?
I think that's kinda unisex.

Not all U.K. accents have the intrusive r, lots of people do say Indy-anna

Aww see I'm in the UK and never known a boy Jesse. No one I know has ever known a Jesse either

Lucy. It has to be Lucy.

If it is a name more commonly associated with a girl, I wouldn’t use the name.

If your son is one of the bigger kids and popular and confident, he can make the name his own and it will be fine.

If he is a more sensitive, gentler, smaller or less popular child, you will have made his life so much harder.

Our old neighbour, for some reason, thought we were giving our son a name more commonly associated with girls ( we weren’t) and she was raging about it as she had known a boy at her school with that name who had a very hard time because of it.

So, I wouldn’t. You don’t know what type of person your child will be, so I wouldn’t risk giving him a name that could be bully ammunition.

Why don't you see what name they look like when they are born? Seems sensible to me.

‘You big Jess(i)e’ is literally an insult directed at boys. No way would I give a boy that name.

I have a unisex first name and HATED it with a passion, so changed to my middle name. I was always being teased and told I was a boy.

Absolutely.
All the detail about being able to find a name that 'feels' right for him, and making stuff with the name on when he's not even born! The OP has apparently spent months thinking about his name, but then can't even be bothered to come back to respond on this thread.