Giving my son a 'girl' name

[Bowa]

I am due soon to give birth soon to my first child who will be a boy. I struggled to think of any boy names that felt right. I had a long list for girl names, but I couldn't think any for if I had a son.

I found out I was having a boy at my 16 weeks scan and I still couldn't find a name that felt right at the time. Kinda like a missing puzzle piece if that makes sense.

A few weeks later, I was thinking about a movie I loved since childhood and one of the main characters (the character is male) and something clicked and I knew that was the name I wanted for my son. It felt perfect and exactly what I was looking for. I became excited and looked into how I could make things with his name for the nursery, nicknames and that.

I haven't told anyone what name I picked out for him as I wanted to get everything ready beforehand. I have also had some 'complications', so it felt like bad luck if I told people his name before he was born. When I'm by myself, I talk to my son and I will use his name then.

I was looking at something and saw the name I picked for my son. It had a few different spellings, but what stuck out was that apparently it's used more as a girl name. It didn't say anything about it being a unisex name. I assumed because the character who had the name was male (and refers to himself as a male) that it was wasn't a girl's name or maybe it could be a unisex name. Even the way it is pronounced sounds more masculine than feminine.

I feel conflicted. I can't think of any other name that feels right for him (he has middle names that are boy names), but I don't want him to be picked on if people knew it was used more for a girl. I have an unusual first name, so I have experiences with people not spelling it correctly or pronouncing it right.

His name isn't common for this area either, so I don't think anyone would assume it is used more as a girl name and the way it is pronounced is easy.

I know people have named their daughter with names that are more boy/unisex sounding like: Blake, Parker, Dylan, Toni etc.

His name isn't like: Daisy, Penelope, Sophia, Jane etc.

Would it be OK to stick with the name even if it's used more for a girl?

Pat.

Use it if you're happy with it.
I know several Lesley/Leslie, I also had a best friend at school called Hilary (girl) but later in life met a man called Hilary, more unusual these days.

Picking a name that is usually associated with girls is cruel, unnecessary, and will cause him to be bullied

Was it Taryn from Black Cauldron? I always loved this name for a boy, but have seen a few girls. I'd say unisex and it would be fine

Life is hard. Don't set your son up with difficulty with his name as one of your first steps as a parent. I am sure you can come up with another name rather than being maudlin about hearing a name in a film that has no connection whatsoever with your son. It is much easier for a girl to carry off a traditionally boys' name than vice versa. There's a reason John Wayne changed his name from Marion to John..

A bit of useless information here - in the UK Lesley is the girl’s name, Leslie is the boy’s.

In the US the girl’s name is Leslie. I don’t know about the spelling there for a boy.

Rowan Atkinson, Rowan Williams.
I'm pretty sure it was used for boys before it was used for girls.

I don’t think anyone has used that insult since 1990. I don’t think my children would have even heard of it

I agree, I know some girls use it would j would definitely think of that as a boys name.

I have a name that has been mentioned above, can be a girls or a boys name ,I was born in the late 1960’s,I’ve never liked it partly because it was also a boys name , got spelt wrong , wish I had changed it to my middle name years ago , I often wonder why my parents picked it

I know a little boy called Eden and he’s constantly being mistaken for a girl. His parents get annoyed every time but if you choose a name that’s predominantly a girl’s name then you can’t be annoyed people assume it is. So I think it’s more about you - how do YOU feel about the fact people may assume your baby is a girl, would it annoy you?

If you are doubting yourself so much now, I don't think you will have the confidence to follow through with the reality of giving your child an unusual name. The funny looks, the asking to repeat his name and the, 'that's unusual', comments with a semi look of disgust. My son has a very unusual name. People never understand what i've said, they repeat it back wrong and I have never had anyone tell me they like his name. I love his name, I think he suits it and I dont think it's so far out there that once you know his name you would think twice about it. The poor reactions don't bother me at all, and he is such a confident, head strong person I don't it will bother him either.

From what you've described OP I would go for it if you love it. Male character has the name, sounds masculine and not an obvious girl name so without knowing what it is I would say it will be fine

Unless it's spouse, partner or trusted friend, do not announce his name before he's born. People are more likely ro be tactful about a name they dislike if it's already been bestowed on a baby that's already here.

I'm more concerned that you have loads of girl names you like and no boy names apart from this one.

There's a boy who recently joined DS's class (year 4, age 9/10) called Jesse. I've not heard a single word of anyone thinking he has a girl's name, despite there already having been a girl Jessie in the class since the start.

Wasn't one of John Wayne's names Marion.
In fiction we have Florence McCarthy Knox
Johnny Cash sang of "a boy named Sue"
OP please don't do it. He will be growing up in real life and it don't get easier.

@hereismydog almost annoyed that my name isn't Artemis now!

My son has a name that’s used in America as a girls name but here in the UK it’s a strong Celtic name

Yes, 2 Jesse's in my sons year group aged 6.

Is it Jesse?

My son is called Eden. It’s a strong boys name in France but over here is more of a girls name for some reason.

i love the name and it suits him so much. I personally think a lot of these posts are talking about bullying in schools from the 80s/90s - times have changed and there are so many unusual and unisex names now.

In the USA the Jessie spelling has been used for boys too:

I'd stick with a boy name, I work with a chap called Vivian (which is a dual name) no one over takes the piss - never😂

I was a Primary School teacher for 30 years until 2015 and never heard of a child being bullied over their name.

Don't try to be too original or clever when naming children. There is endless evidence that first names contribute to success in life. Having a silly name is not helpful.