IVF pregnancy measuring 3 weeks behind.

[RoseWinter]

Hello all,

Sorry this may be a long one. Not only have a grieved the entire week but now I'm being left in limbo and don't know what to do.

After going through my first IVF cycle ever and actually getting a positive pregnancy test, I had a viability scan at 6 weeks 4 days and unfortunately it was bad news. There was a gestational sac there and a tiny yolk sac but the IVF clinic said at this stage they would expect to see a fetal pole forming and a flicker of a heartbeat. There wasn't anything detected. They told me to prepare for the worst. They then referred me on to my EPU 2 days later and they confirmed exactly what the IVF clinic said. They could see degeneration of the pregnancy tissue and pockets of blood, though I haven't bled yet and I feel no pain. However, due to their strict policies and procedures, I was told by EPU I have to come back in a weeks time for another scan because they need to rule out any life before they can give me options for a medicated or surgical miscarriage management, if I haven't miscarried myself by then.

A week later, so yesterday, I had my 2nd scan at the EPU by different people. The nurses were both confused by IVF date calculations and because they could see a clear yolk sac and the forming of a fetal pole in the gestational sac they calculated me to 5 weeks pregnant as what they saw on the scan was exactly what they'd expect to see for a 5 week pregnancy. I kept mentioning that the IVF clinics dates can't be wrong because it's such a controlled process and they know the exact dates I've had the embreyo transferred so really yesterday I should be around 8 weeks, but they kept saying they're calculating me to 5 weeks according to the growth they've seen on the scan and they can't offer me anything and I have to wait another 2 weeks for another scan and remain on my cyclogest pessaries.

I then went back to the IVF clinic and spoke to them about everything I'd been told by EPU. They are concerned that EPU just don't understand IVF processes and dates and the language they're using during my scan is potentially giving me false hope because measuring 3 weeks behind an IVF pregnancy is too small and too slow progress. IVF clinic remained confident that I do need to prepare for a miscarriage, but EPU were telling me they're not concerned because they've seen what they'd expect to see in a 5 week pregnancy. But I'm not 5 weeks, I'm 8 weeks!!! I really don't know what to do here. I'm worried that there are abnormalities with this pregnancy and I'm being made to wait whilenit lingers on and I potentially miscarry later on in my pregnancy. We desperately want a baby but IVF clinic are telling me this is a loss and will result in a loss I've come to terms with that, but EPU are telling me to wait and it looks fine. I'm also being kept on cyclogest pessaries but I think this is delaying the miscarriage process. IVF clinic and EPU aren't talking to each other and I'm having to go back and forth to them both.

Has this happened to anyone else? What did you do?

I had eggs collected on 10th Jan, 5 day fresh embreyo transfer on 15th Jan and then positive pregnancy test on 27th Jan. Viability scan was 11th Feb, then rescan yesterday 20th Feb, next rescan is 6th March xx

Hi @RoseWinter it must be horrible to go through this, I havent gone through this exactly but I did get a positive pregnancy test a few years ago and went to my ivf clinic to get a hcg test, it came back at 62 and they told me to prepare for the worst. My dad is a retired obs/gynae and said they shouldn't have told me this as they did not know 💯 that the pregnancy would fail, in the end the pregnancy did fail but in my experience the ivf clinic were very quick to name that when perhaps there are some cases where low hcg works out...

I think the only thing you can do is wait, it's excruciating I know but at this stage there is nothing else you can do, you should have a better idea in the next two weeks. I would say to prepare yourself but if you want to hold on to a little bit of hope then you absolutely should because it sounds like there's a possibility that your pregnancy will keep developing x

Thank you for responding and sharing your experience.

Out of interest and if you don't mind me asking, how far along into your pregnancy were you when you had miscarried? Our fear is that with such slow growth and slow progress being 3 weeks behind, there are abnormalities with the pregnancy. They said in similar cases they have had there is 99% always a miscarriage. My heart has already let this pregnancy go. I don't know if my baby is going to be healthy if it were ever to be born or if we will miscarry later on down the line after 1st trimester which would be so much more traumatic.

I am struggling with the hope of this pregnancy now. I'm in increased stress and panic over it xx

I'm sorry you are going through this. I would say that most likely scenario is ivf clinic is right, it won't end up successful. However, while there has been some developments all you can do is hope that this continues.

I would be preparing yourself for a loss unfortunately.

I'm really sorry you're going through this. This has happened to me a few times and each time was a loss.

The epu kept asking me to go back. Generally by 9 weeks (my dates) I'd miscarry.

Sending you lots of love xx

Mine was 12 days behind when measured in a private scan. Fast forward 4 weeks (yes, took this long to happen!) I miscarried. I would prepare for the worst. It didn't shock me when it eventually happened because I had prepared myself it was likely to happen. With my son the dates were always only a few days out.

I measured behind (I can’t remember by how much but it was significant 16 years ago) but baby did catch back up and develop.

Why aren’t they believing you. Even if it wasn’t IVF, they’re saying you would have got a positive pregnancy test when you weren’t even pregnant yet..!
If it was me I’d stop taking the pressaries. I wouldn’t want to waste more time. I’m so sorry x

I am going through something similar although not an IVF baby however they could see an embryo just no heartbeat. They measured at 3.7mm which is 5 weeks 4 days which is nearly 2 weeks behind what I thought I was ( 7 weeks). Trying to stay hopeful but think it could be a missed miscarriage.

I'm sorry you are going through this OP.

I've lost 3 pregnancies and had several rounds of IVF. Its a difficult time waiting till the next scan and not knowing.

Given there was a 3 week difference, I wonder if you could have ovulated and be pregnant naturally? Did you DTD after the implantation? I'm not sure whether that is possible, especially give the positive preg dates, but its a thought.

Have you lost any other pregnancies? Sorry if TMI. I ask, because if this does lead to MC, you can ask for testing. They will only do genetic testing if its your 3rd loss, but for 1st/2nd, they can test to check it wasn't a molar pregnancy and to check whether there was or wasn't a pregnancy there. I used a sterile urine pot from the pharmacy and took the products to my EPU for testing. Note that they can't always work out a genetic cause, but in my case, they could.

As a positive side note, a colleague had a scan and was told it was an MC and to book in for a termination. 2 weeks on, at the abortion clinic, she insisted on a scan to check. That baby is a teen now.

It's been quite a traumatic week. We have grieved and come to terms with the loss only to be told there is growth. It's so confusing. This is an IVF fresh 5 day transfer so my dates absolutely cannot be wrong. I don't have any pregnancy symptoms at all, so if my little one is growing super slowly, 3 weeks behind what it should be, I'm worried about abnormalities. I'm worried sick it'll end in a D&C, wanted it medically managed or MVA. But right now I can't do anything and have to stabd firm if there is a heartbeat in 2 weeks time and let them know this pregnancy is 100% 3 weeks behind what it should be as its not possible the dates can be wrong. We know exactly the day we transfered. It's so difficult not being believed and we obviously want to have a baby but this is so complicated now.

We are. We came to terms with the loss and grieved the whole week before the 2nd scan only for the nurses at EPU to be all fluffy and happy. We were hopeful but then reported back to the IVF clinic and they broke it down to us that theres an issue as embreyo is developing far too slowly, 3 weeks behind what it should be and that's not right.

I'm so sorry you went through this too. It's such a cruel thing to have that positive pregnancy test and get all hopeful for what you've dreamed of and then have its snatched away from you. It's just horrible. We have grieved the entire way only to be told that there is now some on growth. But we still believe this could lead to miscarriage so we are prepared. I have no pregnancy symptoms at all and I don't feel this pregnancy is going to get anywhere. but I also don't feel any miscarriage coming on. Is awful as it sounds I just want to be put out of my misery now so we can start again.

I'm so sorry you had to go through this. It's awful. How far along were you in your pregnancy if you don't mind me asking? We are prepared for a miscarriage, we have come to terms with this being such a complicated pregnancy and IVF clinic have deemed it non viable so we are trusting and believing in them. Unfortunately, my hospital just don't understand IVF and are treating me like the general population of natural pregnancies x

Hey, thanks for sharing your experience. Was yours an IVF pregnancy?

@RoseWinter my experience of EPU is exactly the same. 'Fluffy and happy'. I didn't have IVF but you sort of know your own body. I was convinced I was having a MC and they saw exactly what they told you they saw. Bleeding continued and sadly things turned out they did. I'm sorry OP, if I were you I would wait for things to play out naturally but try to be prepared emotionally for a loss as PPs with more experience have shared.

They just kept shutting it down and saying "we're not concerned, we're seeing exactly what we would in a 5 week scan" I kept saying I'm 7 weeks, there's no way I'm 5 weeks because we know the exact dates of when the embreyo was transferred so IVF clinic cannot be wrong on dates, they said there's growth so I need to come back. I've been told I'm not allowed to stop the pessaries by both IVF clinic and NHS, I can only do so when instructed by EPAU. I know in my heart this pregnancy isn't viable and is going to result in miscarrying it. I feel like taking the pessaries is just longing out the inevitable and so I can't move on and can't get closure from this.

Oh @JC03745 I'm so sorry to hear you went through 3 miscarriages. How awful that must have been for you. It's just so cruel isn't it?

We did DTD but a week or so after we the positive pregnancy test, after official test day. I spoke to my IVF doctor about this and she said natural pregnancy isn't possible as I was already pregnant at the time. Thank you for letting me know. I'll ask the EPAU about testing the pregnancy tissue. I'm just feeling so in limbo right now. We want so badly to be a family and this has just caused so much confusion and heart ache. We both just want to be put out of our misery now.

Did your colleague have IVF or was that a natural pregnancy? My IVF clinic said that in similar cases to mine, it has resulted in miscarriage so to keep guarded and prepared for that. Their "real talk" has kept us grounded and prepared for the worst.

We're prepared. We just know it's a loss and not viable. My IVF clinic are concerned around the language the EPAU are using which potentially gives false hope but we've been discussing with our IVF clinic who are so supportive and giving us the reality of our situation. I've not bled at all yet not even a tiny bit of spotting, there's no movement whatsoever with the miscarriage so I'm wondering if I'll end up having tablets to start the process or surgery which I'm so scared about as I don't want to damage my uterus so we can try again naturally. We won't be doing IVF again due to cost so just praying to be put out of misery so we can grieve properly and move on when we have closure. xx

Sending you hugs

the only thing I can suggest is to go back to IVF clinic next week to see if there is any progression… that way you know what you need to do x

Hi OP, I’m really sorry to hear this and I hope you’re taking good care of yourself. I too have experienced a similar process f being told s pregnancy is just measuring behind when I was certain of my dates. The NHS gave me no information at all and I honestly felt quite gaslit by the end, it was extremely clear to me that I was going to miscarry but because there was incremental growth between my scans they kept telling me to wait and come back. I understand that, but they also told me not to worry and that nothing was wrong, which just made me feel like I was crazy but also made my husband quite unsupportive of my view. Anyway ultimately my experience was a missed miscarriage.

I had early scans due to having had an ectopic before, so my first at 6 weeks was measuring slightly behind, despite being very clear on my days because my history. I then had scans every 1-2 weeks and over time the measurements were just getting further from where I was supposed to be. I ended up having quite a sharp cramp around 11 weeks (baby measuring about 7 by that point) and in my scan after I could see that they had died, and that was the first time anyone validated what I knew had been happening for at least a month, if not more. I ended up needing a D&C as my body just continued to think I was pregnant.

I think if there is no possibility that you’ve become pregnant naturally since your IVF appt then it might be time to be thinking that you could experience a missed miscarriage, but that you only know because of the scans you’ve been having. I guess it’s also not completely beyond the realms of possibility that you had a chemical and then because your body was totally ready for pregnancy you were able to get pregnant naturally. I always found it quite easy to get pregnant following a miscarriage (which is very bittersweet).

I hope you are ok OP, and that you don’t have to sit in this limbo for too much longer

No one can force you to use them.

Its almost like they don’t realise how pregnancy starts - which is quite worrying!
I’ve had so many women report similar with non ivf pregnancies but they know the date they conceived or ovulated due to tracking it all. It’s extremely frustrating. Even more so when the ivf team have confirmed it to you

It's really very frustrating. When I check the date my other half and I DTD, it would only make me 4 weeks. So even then, the scan isn't measuring up to that possibility. I was testing positive from 4DP5DT and it was only getting stronger throughout the weeks, then after OTD I continued testing for a further week because I just couldn't believe the IVF had worked, so I don't think I had a chemical.

We've decided that if I don't miscarry by the next scan, we're going to see what the scan shows and then we're going to be firm that with the backing of the IVF clinic they're telling me it's a non viable pregnancy as their dates cannot be wrong at all as it's such a controlled and exact process.

Did you decide to have a D&C over medication? Or was this the only option they gave to you? I'm really worried that this will drag on and I'll just miscarry much later on in my pregnancy when it'll be far more traumatic xx

They won't intervene now. I asked them if they could and they said unfortunately not. They've handed me back to NHS now so I'm theirs to deal with. My IVF nurse literally said to me "we're just the experts in trying to get you pregnant and we've done that now. So, whatever happens from here needs to be managed by your EPAU!" I feel like I have no control over my body xx

I'd stop the pessaries. They can't force you to keep taking them and this is unfortunately not a viable pregnancy. They're dragging the process out for you because of policies written without any input from the mums going through the losses and I'd definitely be wrapping this one up on my own terms. X