IVF pregnancy measuring 3 weeks behind.

[RoseWinter]

Hello all,

Sorry this may be a long one. Not only have a grieved the entire week but now I'm being left in limbo and don't know what to do.

After going through my first IVF cycle ever and actually getting a positive pregnancy test, I had a viability scan at 6 weeks 4 days and unfortunately it was bad news. There was a gestational sac there and a tiny yolk sac but the IVF clinic said at this stage they would expect to see a fetal pole forming and a flicker of a heartbeat. There wasn't anything detected. They told me to prepare for the worst. They then referred me on to my EPU 2 days later and they confirmed exactly what the IVF clinic said. They could see degeneration of the pregnancy tissue and pockets of blood, though I haven't bled yet and I feel no pain. However, due to their strict policies and procedures, I was told by EPU I have to come back in a weeks time for another scan because they need to rule out any life before they can give me options for a medicated or surgical miscarriage management, if I haven't miscarried myself by then.

A week later, so yesterday, I had my 2nd scan at the EPU by different people. The nurses were both confused by IVF date calculations and because they could see a clear yolk sac and the forming of a fetal pole in the gestational sac they calculated me to 5 weeks pregnant as what they saw on the scan was exactly what they'd expect to see for a 5 week pregnancy. I kept mentioning that the IVF clinics dates can't be wrong because it's such a controlled process and they know the exact dates I've had the embreyo transferred so really yesterday I should be around 8 weeks, but they kept saying they're calculating me to 5 weeks according to the growth they've seen on the scan and they can't offer me anything and I have to wait another 2 weeks for another scan and remain on my cyclogest pessaries.

I then went back to the IVF clinic and spoke to them about everything I'd been told by EPU. They are concerned that EPU just don't understand IVF processes and dates and the language they're using during my scan is potentially giving me false hope because measuring 3 weeks behind an IVF pregnancy is too small and too slow progress. IVF clinic remained confident that I do need to prepare for a miscarriage, but EPU were telling me they're not concerned because they've seen what they'd expect to see in a 5 week pregnancy. But I'm not 5 weeks, I'm 8 weeks!!! I really don't know what to do here. I'm worried that there are abnormalities with this pregnancy and I'm being made to wait whilenit lingers on and I potentially miscarry later on in my pregnancy. We desperately want a baby but IVF clinic are telling me this is a loss and will result in a loss I've come to terms with that, but EPU are telling me to wait and it looks fine. I'm also being kept on cyclogest pessaries but I think this is delaying the miscarriage process. IVF clinic and EPU aren't talking to each other and I'm having to go back and forth to them both.

Has this happened to anyone else? What did you do?

I had eggs collected on 10th Jan, 5 day fresh embreyo transfer on 15th Jan and then positive pregnancy test on 27th Jan. Viability scan was 11th Feb, then rescan yesterday 20th Feb, next rescan is 6th March xx

When I had my early scan I should have been nearly 8 weeks but was measuring 6. I was a few days away from my dating scan at nearly 12 weeks, when the miscarriage naturally happened.
I wasn't listened to either tbh. Natural conception but I knew when I ovulated as I was tracking, and I knew that it didn't line up with when I got my positive test either. The private scan place tried to reassure me with 'it has a heartbeat though', as if that made it OK. And my local midwifery team told me EPU won't do anything unless I'm bleeding or cramping (all I wanted was a scan in those 4 long weeks!).
So sorry you are going through this x

Oh bless you. From what I know EPAU won’t scan you for at least two weeks from your last scan. I know it’s an expense but maybe a private scan in a week? X

It's so incredibly hard when you're trying to be heard but they just do what they have to do because of policies. I'm not a policy, I'm a human being! I feel like this causes more harm than good when the IVF clinic are telling me my baby is developing way behind what it should be, 3 weeks behind what it should be! But the NHS disagree. How can you disagree with dates that are exact and there's no way possible I can be 5 weeks. It's just so awful and prolonging the grief, the pain, the miscarriage, everything.

I'm happy to go for a private scan but I don't know what good it'll do if thr NHS are just going to do whatever they decide is the right thing due to their policies. There's a wonderful private clinic here run by midwives and medical professionals but I'm not sure what the purpose of that will be because the NHS are controlling what they think should be happening.

I’d just stop taking the pessaries and it’s likely nature will take its course. Don’t worry it won’t be any worse as time goes on physically because its not grown. I was terrified of a d&c but I’m glad I did it as it was over and done with. Yours is a bit earlier though so they may offer tablets. Emotionally though it’s horrific and I’m so sorry the high you must have had getting pregnant to then crashing down to earth with this x

I understand how you’re feeling, you know your body and you know what’s happening and it’s only natural to want to act on it. Having been through it, I can sort of remove the emotion out of it now. The policies and procedures are to protect you and the baby in case it is a viable pregnancy. I know that you know what you know, and you know the dates, but they will always try to ensure they are 100%. I know that doesn’t mean much to you right now.

The only reason I suggest the private scan, is so that you are also 100% and you can then go back to the EPAU and asked them to take appropriate course of action.

I was also very lucky that everything happened organically and quite quickly for me, but I have seen on MN through the years that women tend to dislike medical management of MC but I’m not sure why as I’ve not read into it.

I'm so freaking confused right now.

This morning, from around 6am, I had period like cramping and bleeding. Everything got more and more intense as the day went on. I genuinely thought its happening, I'm miscarrying finally. There was a few clots, but I wasn't heavily bleeding. But the pain got so intense at one point I thought I was going to throw up... Then at around 3pm, it all stopped. The pain has completely gone, the bleeding has slowed down loads. I've rang EPAU and my next scan isn't until 6th March, they won't see me before then. Could I have miscarriedthis quickly? Or was it something else? Or is this how a miscarriage happens? On and off every so often?

Oh @RoseWinter I'm so sorry you're going through this. I really feel there should be more support and compassion from EPUs etc (as someone who has had 3 miscarriages).

So it could be a subchorionic haematoma that's made you bleed (a bleed elsewhere in the uterus) or it could be the beginning of a miscarriage.

If I were you I'd probably want a private scan, especially if the EPU won't see you. Ideally the IVF clinic but if not there are many reputable places. It's rubbish and expensive and not fair, but it will give you a sense of where you're at.

If there is progression of growth/heartbeat you may want to check if you should increase your cyclogest dose. This is what my recurrent miscarriage doctor did when I had a subchorionic haematoma with my current pregnancy.

Sorry you are going through this.

mice has the several times at EPU where if there’s any change at a subsequent scan they won’t confirm it’s a miscarriage even when I’ve known I’m weeks behind. It’s really frustrating tbh but there doesn’t seem to be a way around the process, they need to see on their scans they it isn’t progressing and any change between scans seems to count.

It sounds like a mc to me if I’m honest. Especially as it was very early on, some women do experience what you’ve described in terms of friends I’ve known go through similar. It can really vary. One friend I know took days to miscarry but another friend it all happened in one night.

From what you've described it does sound like it may have happened. At nearly 12 weeks (although not knowing exactly when the embryo's heart and growth stopped), the worst of my miscarriage was over in a couple of hours. I didnt even need to take painkillers. It surprised me how 'easy' it was, in terms of pain. I was warned from others that it can come and go, but it was like a period after that. Stopped bleeding completely after 2 weeks.

UPDATE:

Hi all, though I passed a few clots here and there earlier on before lunch time, at around 7pm tonight, I passed quite a large mass. It was just a tad smaller than the palm of my hand and I'd say the thickness of a plug. I'm not sure if placentas form around the 8 week mark but it certainly looked "meaty" like a placenta. My body is now calm and at peace. So, this was the miscarriage I had been expecting. Although quite numb and sad, I feel a sense of peace and closure. I have taken a photo to show the hospital if they ask or want to see.

Thank you all so much for the love, support and guidance. I'd be lost without a community of women supporting in such a horrendous time. I'm very grateful for you all who have reached out. Thank you.

I’m so sorry for your loss but I am glad you feel at peace. I send you loads of luck and baby dust for the future x

I am so sorry you've lost your baby, but I am pleased for you that this awful process has come to a conclusion. Wishing you all the luck for the future x

@RoseWinter when you pass the sac it's normally greyish. So it might be yet to come? Thinking of you 🌺

So sorry to hear this. I've literally just been through the exact same with my ivf pregnancy on Thurs/Fri, thankfully I passed everything within a few hours however still ended up with having an overnight stay in the hospital! Please reach out for support if needed

I'm sorry to hear you had to stay in hospital after such a huge loss. What was the reason for this if you don't mind me asking? I've got a dull ache and still bleeding a bit, which I expect will go on for a while yet but mostly feeling ok. I'm going to ring the EPAU tomorrow to ask if there's anything at all I need to do now. My scan with them is in 2 weeks time but I'm worried that there may be retained pregnancy tissue but the large mass that left me felt like everything. A bit sore and tender around the abdomen but otherwise I feel ok. Just the emotional side of it to get through now xx

Thank you, I told my baby it was ok to let go and be at peace now, we have accepted he or she couldn't make it to earth side because he or she wasn't ready and that we will forever love him or her 🤍 I kept repeating this in the morning when Ibwas cramping and bleeding and then finally everything passed. It felt like closure but so sad it had to be this way. Thank you for the luck for futurr 🤞🏼

I'm so sorry OP :(

It sounds like the EPAU have been absolutely horrendous with the advice and false hope they have given you. When you have given yourself time to grieve, please consider putting in a complaint xx

You can now get a certificate of loss OP, if that is something you would like as a memory x

positive / successful stories

Trigger warning: r/MMC r/pregnancy loss

Hi there, I'm looking for some positive stories regarding scans that doctors thought could have been MMC (missed miscarriages) but have turned out to be healthy babies.

My situation: I went for a early pregnancy scan at what I thought was 9 weeks according to LMP but when there they said baby was 5.5 weeks and cause of this age couldn't detect a heartbeat (this is normal under 6/7 weeks). They said due to the difference they were referring me for another scan in 1 week and it could be a MMC. I have worked out dates of conception and it could be 5.5 weeks so it's not impossible. However since then I have realised some brownish (tiny amounts) of discharge when I wipe and this morning it was a tiny bit of red discharge. I don't have anything above mild cramps which I have had from the start. I haven't had any real pregnancy symptoms from finding out which makes it very difficult to see if I have lost any or not. The hard thing is that everything which could be a MMC symptom could also be a pregnancy symptom especially around week 6 which I would be now.

I have done so much research and I know everything negative there is to know - I have read many stories of MMC and I am expecting the worst. I just wanted to know if anyone did have any success stories as midwife's are telling me to stay positive due to my dates being possible. However that is hard to do with no real examples of positive stories.

Hey, was this supposed to be a posts of it's own? Just wondering as you may not get the responses you intended on my post.

Hi Rosewinter. I’ve read all your posts and I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. Especially with the false hope from EPU. I went through almost exactly the same thing a few months ago where EPU said I’d be ok but I just knew I wasn’t. I was measuring at just under five weeks but I was six weeks. As you say, with IVF you should know the exact dates.

When I miscarried, I did already have a scan booked with the EPU for reassurance after having gone to them already. I let them know I’d miscarried and they kept the reassurance scan in the diary but it was to check I'd passed all the tissue. So if you’ve not already, I’d let EPU know so they can still scan you on 6th March (I think that’s when you said your scan was) but they’ll know it’s to check for tissue rather than to check for growth.

I hope you don’t need pills or d and c to clear any tissue but it’s really important to access that help if you do need it. Good luck and I’m really sorry for your sad loss xxx

Sorry yes it was! I’m new to mums net! Thank you