4th FET, can I now share news with husband???

[CoCoaButter85]

Had my 4th FET transfer. Today is 9th day post transfer and pretty much since 5d post transfer been testing positive. The line progression is definitely there. (I'm testing with cheapie and then Super drug own brand early detection one - progression is obvious on both). I had a chemical before and than miscarriage a couple of years back. So as you can imagine even though I am delighted about the news at the same time I am very very cautious. I am thinking to test again this Friday (11 days post transfer) and then tell my husband. I haven't told anyone any of this so any words of wisdom/ support would be very welcome.

I am reluctant to tell him just yet as I want more certainty (it's enough me worried about it already, see no point both of getting flustered over this). Appreciate there will be no 100% certainty until the baby arrives but one step at the time.

Can't share photo just yet unfortunately.

Hi@CoCoaButter85 how are you getting on? Did the bleeding slow down/stop? I really hope it did! I'm really hoping for you that tomorrow you get to see the heartbeat again xx

Hope all is well at your scan today x

@CoCoaButter85 I hope today's scan went well xxx

Hello ladies! Was waiting to have my scan to get back to you. So the bleeding is still there but it is brown and just a bit of it. But it is there every single day. I don't think I have ever in my life spend so much time looking at the tissue paper. So I completely came to terms that the news might not be good. But to my suprise the baby is very much alive, measuring well, the heartbeat is the way it should be! The bleeding area is getting somewhat smaller. It's frustrating they don't know what it is. But I was told just to wait and only get worried if bleeding turns red. I'm very pleased. Every time I am going in with very low expectations and get pleasantly surprised.

Thank you @mushroomushroom

Sent too early. Thank you for reaching out! It's encouraging to know that you are there thinking about me 💐

We are traveling tomorrow to see my parents and I am leaning towards telling them (we won't see them again soon since they live abroad). At least they will have some joy even if it doesn't necessarily have happy ending.

@caramac04 thank you for reaching out. Your messages does make a difference.

I hope things are going well for both of you and you get to enjoy yourselves 🤗

Aww great news, wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy

Wishing you a very happy and healthy pregnancy. Xx

Hello OP,

For what it's worth a colleague of mine had the same thing happen to her (lots of bleeding, she ended up taking several weeks off), and she had a perfectly healthy little boy. But obviously I appreciate the worry won't go away !

Fingers crossed for you !

Oh I am SO happy to hear that your baby is doing well! That's excellent news that they're measuring well and the heartbeat is what it should be 😍 I really hope that the bleeding was some weird anomaly and that it continues to just taper off and will just stop. It's annoying they don't know what the bleeding is, but it's good that the area that's bleeding is getting smaller.

When will your next scan be? I hope it's not too long of a wait! That's really nice you're going to visit your parents 😊 sharing the news with them sounds really special ♥️

Hi there @CoCoaButter85, how are you getting on? I hope everything is well! Xx

@mushroomushroom - so good to hear from you! so the light bleeding / vaginal discharge is still ongoing. I would like to think it is less, stays brown in colour but there every single day. I think apart from that just getting quite emotional and feeling hungry all the time. The problem is I start feeling nautious if not eating on time so try to keep snacking. It doesn't help I am craving for things liek cheese (spreadable cheddar is my favourite atm), sausages, pies etc. Bought lots of fruit. I'll make sure I keep them prepped so less excuses to eat unhealthy options (cravings crisps at the moment after eating melon). My next scan is on Monday so will have a bit more insight then. Will be interesting to see if teh bleeding area is getting smaller...

Hope you are doing well and have something nice planned for the weekend 😊 Let me know please if you have any tips how to stay away from unhealthy food

@Maxorias - good to know there are success stories out there even with continuous bleed. I wake up every day hoping that this is it, finished now but then off it goes again after couple of hours. It is not even a proper bleed as such. More brown discharge. I don't mind it too much as long as the baby develops ok but certainly added worry.

@bumblebubble23 @Umbrellah - thank you ladies ❤

It doesn't help work is busy and stressing me (obviously I haven't told anyone) and all i want to do is sit on teh sofa with a tub of spreadable cheese and watch Netflix 😂

@CoCoaButter85 brown is good! Hopefully it either completely stops, or if it continues that it's just brown!

I'm also glad you're hungry all the time, it feels like a good sign 😁 I also just wanted to eat a load of super unhealthy things like chips and chicken nuggets and burgers (maybe specifically I wanted McDonald's a lot 😂) and I ate an awful lot of crisps because I just really wanted them (I still do). Luckily I was back at home for nearly three weeks for Christmas from about 7 weeks, and my mum insisted on cooking dinner every day so I was forced to have least one proper meal a day 😂 to be honest, I think as long as you're also able to force some fruit/veg in (depending entirely on how nauseous you are, if you're super nauseous just eat whatever will go in/stay down!), then also eat your spreadable cheese! Enjoy it! Savour it!

Let us know how you get on today :) xxxx

Cravings are nutrient ms the baby wants. I would check you are eating enough healthy fats including fish. I hope all is well

@CoCoaButter85 hi there! How are you getting on? Xx

@mushroomushroom - so good to hear from you. Hope you are having a good weekend! We have friends over from abroad so it was quite nice just to be able to relax and switch off my mind.

I am doing ok I think. Got my midwife appointment and registered for the local hospital. Just waiting for my 12w scan on 2nd of April. I was thinking to have a scan in between but decided, given how much moeny we've spent on IVF, just stick with NHS 12 week scan.

I think psychologically I am doing ok. I have moments when anxiety goes through the roof but I think overall I have things under control. I am feeling well too but experiencing all sort of pains. They are very random. I get worried when I have them and then I get worried when I don't so no winning.

Also today we went for quite a long walk. I am afraid I might have overdone it a bit (~10k steps). I'm back home resting when husband is sorting us out dinner. I was prepping potatoes when the pain started (teh usual ones I've been having for a week now) so decided need to sit down. I think after dinner I will be changing to pyjamas and just going to lie down.

How are you getting on? You are now prbably not far from 30 weeks? Have you started bying stuff yet?

@CoCoaButter85 I'm so glad you hear you had such a nice weekend 🥰

I'm glad that things are seemingly going well, and that you're booked in with the hospital! Did your bleeding fully stop by the way? I hope it did.

I had the same thought process before my 12 weeks scan (at 13 weeks), the wait was long and terrible but I also decided not to do a private scan cause we've spent a fortune on the IVF, plus I figured it wouldn't make a difference either way, things would either be going well or they wouldn't.

That's good you're doing well psychologically! Im glad the panic/anxiety moments don't happen too frequently. It's an extremely nerve wracking time, especially considering the bleeding you've had, so you're doing super well it sounds like :) I think the pains are normal, and so is not having them 😅 I was such a moody arsehole in the days leading up to the 13 weeks scan because I was convinced the baby was gone because I hadn't needed to pee during the night for a few days in a row, and I'd had no cramps. I think our bodies just like to play tricks on us. I've also called the midwife a few times because I had new weird cramps at later weeks, and they said it was all normal (and everything was fine at my next scans).

I'm 22 weeks as of a few days ago :) we had the anatomy scan last week (I was v nervous) and it went well! It was hard to get a good view for some things as my placenta is right at the front which makes the ultrasound less clear. I can't feel movement yet because of the placenta. Sometimes I think I can feel something, but it feels so much like wind moving around that I'm never sure if I need a fart or if it's the baby. Hopefully it will become clearer in the next few weeks, I think I'll be able to relax a bit more when I can feel them moving.

I started getting some things second hand online, like a cot for beside the bed, and a buggy, and a rocking chair, and some other bits and pieces, but no clothes or anything directly "for" the baby, if you know what I mean (I know that sounds mental cause I'm obv not buying the cot for myself). For me the line is somehow buying clothes for the baby, and I don't want to jinx anything by buying clothes. I also haven't bought anything firsthand yet (like in a shop) which also eases my superstitions 😂 a few weeks ago I had a big panic that our apartment wasn't ready for a baby and we needed to make space, so that's when I threw a lot of things out and went on my second-hand shopping spree 😂 when do you think you'd start getting things? I have some friends who started buying things almost straight away (but they conceived really quickly and never had a loss or anything).

@mushroomushroom - well done getting through 20week scan. I think that's another major milestone to cross. I was looking up and chatting to midwife when people usually start buying things and apparently it's common when the gender is known.

It's so exciting to start getting things together and making the nest ready. In a way it's also a bit of a shock that things are going to be different from now on forever! Haha! Did you guys decide to find out the gender of a baby or are you waiting till the end??

@mushroomushroom - I decided to buy a baby diary if the 12week scan goes well. To put together all the pictures and all my thoughts. It might be nice thing to look back one day. But I think I will wait till 20week scan for anything else. But I must admit I have been lurking at places like Facebook marketplace for second hand stuff! Our plan is bit like yours to try and get most things second hand to keep the costs down

@CoCoaButter85 hi there! How are you doing? It's been a while, sorry for not replying! I hope everything is going well with you. How was your 12 week scan?

Things are fine here, had a bit of a scare (everything turned out fine thankfully), and it turns out I have gestational diabetes, but honestly I can't really complain, I'm feeling mostly fine!

Lots of love xxx

Hope it all went ok

@MelainesLaugh - I'm glad you remembered me!

@mushroomushroom - I hear of gestational diabetes but don't really know how to find out of you have it or what are the side affects. Thankfully it wasn't anything more serious and both of you are ok. Your due date should be fast approaching. Have you prepped the house yet? And when are you starting your maternity?

So husband and I went to our NHS 12w scan and everything went well. It was amazing to see a little human rather than just a blob. My husband got bit emotional as well. Which was nice to see. I think he's now more into it as well actually seeing it on the screen. Which is lovely. Overall I am feeling ok but getting really tired towards the end of the day. Had pretty horrible pains last few days as well but it has calmed down now.. oh and we got holidays booked as well. I will be 20weeks then. If it was my decision only I would not have booked anything but husband really wanted to get away and I guess it makes sense to have our last holiday just the two of us. Have already reserved a buggy and a cot from a friend's of ours but don't have it with us yet. Every little helps.

Amazing news!! Are you going to find out what you’re having?

Im so pleased for you

@CoCoaButter85 ahhhhh I'm so happy to hear that!! You got to see your sweet baby 😭 that's very nice that your husband was also emotional, such a nice moment.

Also nice that you have holidays booked! Hopefully by 20 weeks you're still feeling good and with plenty of energy! I think holidays around then sound lovely! I'm 25 weeks now and would love to go on a holiday 😁 regarding your pains, I had bad pains for several weeks, and I remember I called the midwife at around 14 weeks because I was worried but she said it was normal. It turns out round ligament pain actually can hurt an awful lot (but if you're worried about your pain call the midwife!!).

RE maternity leave, I don't actually live in the UK, I'm on the continent these last years, and I live in what I'm assuming is the worst country in Europe for maternity leave 🙄 it's 3 months here, but my work is "generous" and will give me 4 months. I've read that if you take maternity leave early it comes off the end, which I really don't want. I'm going to ask with my doctor about getting signed off early though (as opposed to mat leave). Sorry for the spiel I'm just really bitter about it especially cause before I moved here I was in one of the countries with the best maternity leave 😂 and I'm jealous of my friends back home too, with their normal length of mat leave.

We have more of the stuff at home! So far we have a buggy, changing table/set of drawers, rocking chair, cot, bathtub, heating lamp, carrier, I got a big pot of sudocreme last weekend back at home and calpol, and I got some cloth nappies and some clothes (which are still in the box, still superstitious to touch them 😅😂).

The diabetes is a bit of a pain in the arse, but to be far I've only been dealing with it for a week now so I haven't gotten too sick of my meals yet. So far sugar is fine. Not loving that I yet again am having to stick needles in myself daily, but it's ok!