How to get family altogether without raising suspicion?

[lils20252]

Hi everyone, I’ve just found out I’m 10 weeks pregnant! At 12 weeks, I want to share the news with all our family at the same time. There’ll be about 6 from my side and 9 from DH’s side, including my brother, who’s currently living in Manchester (5 hours away). How can I get everyone together without them suspecting anything?

You can't.

Bump

If someone made me drive for five hours (unless to tell me that they were terminally ill or were gifting me a million quid) I'd be really very cross.

Congratulations. I don't think you can unless there is another event. Birthday, anniversary or something.

It's really not that important to anyone but you and DH.
You are not the main character in anyone's drama but your own.

You can't make someone drive 5hr just to tell them you're pregnant?! Organise a group face time or just tell them separately

Ring them up or add it to a family WhatsApp message

I agree entirely with this.

Yeah, this has major Main Character Energy. Just visit or call them separately when the time is right. Are you also going to be summoning them to an endless stream of shower and reveal parties?

It's not the best idea. You're obviously very excited, but I wouldn't care to drive 5 hours for a pregnancy announcement. Zoom?

Do you normally have parties with both sides? Just invite everyone.. say its a delayed new years get together and hope you can make it. Everyone probably won't make it but some will.

Why do you need to get together. Just tell them.

Unless one of you has a birthday or something that would be tricky... I agree with others I wouldn't be over the moon to travel 5 hours to find out someone is 12 weeks pregnant. To meet the baby maybe but it seems like more of a phonecall situation if you've just had your first scan.

Why would you want to? You’re pregnant, lovely news, congrats, but that’s all you need to tell them. “I’m pregnant, due x date, very happy” then everyone gets on with their days.

5hrs for someone to tell them they are pregnant. Sorry, I don’t think it will mean as much to them as you think. Do something with each family separately and you go to them.

I’d be fuming if someone made me travel 5 hours for a get together under the pretence of something, only to find out the get together was to tell me/us they were pregnant.

This is what FaceTime is for, and even then if I had to block out a specific date and time, I’d be none too impressed.

Five hours is a long time to ask someone to travel for a pregnancy announcement but you’ll know best if that’s something your brother would be happy with!

I would just invite people to a party, say ‘we would really love for you to be there’ and hope for the best. If people aren’t willing or able to attend you can FaceTime them separately or make a plan for you to travel to them to tell them.

Mumsnet can be very sneering about pregnancy announcements but most people are happy and excited to hear news of a baby. That said, I wouldn’t tell any lies or try to manipulate anyone into attending - just extend the invitation and do what you can within the limitations of the responses you receive.

Truly - I agree with the other posters. I’ve been there with the insane excitement levels of a pregnancy but I look back now 12 years later and cringe SO hard!

just FaceTime them.

Nooooooo

Some very mean spirited replies! You actually are the main character in others lives sometimes and there's nothing wrong with that.

My niece announced her pregnancy in a few 'sittings' because she couldn't really get the two sides together. So she did ours at a pre-arranged family brunch (organised by someone else so no one suspected a thing and it was one of the most beautiful moments - I really love my niece and was just so happy for her. And I'm not sure how they did the other half.

But maybe do two announcements which will help with the distance.

And congratulations 🙂

Congratulations.
But honestly, no one wants to travel 5 hours for that!
Just do a face time or group chat.

As long as the pretence went ahead as well, it should be fine. So there is a birthday party or whatever AND pregnancy announcement.

It wouldn't be fair to make your brother drive 5 hours (or 10 hours for return journey?) to just tell him you are pregnant. Just tell family who live nearby and then phone those who live hours away. It's dramatic to get everyone in the room together and they'd suspect you're pregnant or have bad news. Just tell your parents in person, then your in laws if they're local, then others via phone.

Get them all together over FaceTime/ zoom. Don’t make them drive 5 hours to make an announcement that really won’t be as exciting to them as it is to you! And certainly don’t try and get them there under false pretences, if you must get them together at least tell them it’s because you have an important, happy announcement. It’s then up to them if they want to find out in person or are happy to be told over the phone/ video call.

In two weeks time most people are still coming down from Christmas and new year shenanigans.
Just tell people over the phone you don't need a big party.

Hang on - in your head, you're already planning your "gender reveal" then your "baby shower" then your "child's first month old" parties aren't you 😆