Another baby at 33 - too old?

[SophiaRose91]

Hi everyone, im 33 and i have an 11 yr old son. His dad and I split 7 yrs ago so ive been a single mum co-parenting since then. Im aware that if i wanted another baby, i would need to do this asap (ideally via sperm donation as i do not want a man involved). Is 33 too old for another baby? Am i being selfish? Is there a high risk of special needs at my age? X

You do realise this is an age where many many women have their first babies, right? And, there is nothing statistically amiss with these babies?

It's not too old, but you'll be taken up with a baby when your son is in secondary, have a toddler when he's doing GCSE etc. Why not devote that time to him?

Not too old. Many people haven’t even started by then. I think the risks do ramp up after 35 though? I’m sure I’ve seen people say that’s bullshit before but also pretty sure I’ve seen a graph before…. In any case, the risks will remain low for you for a few years, even if they are increased from what they were. I know many people who have had kids in their 40s and one even at 52, kid now grown up and no issues at all.

I'm 34 and wouldn't have it on my mind, but I have peers who haven't even started yet.

Can you afford it? Do you have support? It's not remotely too old

Not too old at all! 33 is a very common age, in fact I'm 33 now and just had a positive pregnancy test from the first cycle of trying (I have a toddler already).

Don't be daft OP. You know perfectly well the majority of women have babies around that age.

I would be far more worried about having a baby via sperm donor without support and with a teenager.

I'm 33 and definitely don't feel old, or too old for a baby. Lots of my friends are having their first.

Surely you must be aware of women having healthy babies later? The news always has some 40 plus year old celeb having children. And in the general population there are obvious mums in their late thirties and forties about. It’s really not such a pressing matter at 33 but you’re right that it’s better to have them younger statistically for better outcomes though it’s not a cliff edge at 35 like your post seems to suggest.

I had my second at 32 and third at 34 :) All fine. Not a high risk pregnancy from a age point of view. Although I defiantly struggled more last time - everything just seemed so much harder!

No. It's not too old at all. Most people don't have their first until they're older than that!

Had my first at 33 and second at 35. That was 20 years ago. They are both brilliant. Pretty normal age to have kids as far as I’m concerned.

I think its a lovely age to have a baby.
Some dont have there first untill 45 which to me is silly.

I think the main issues are not your age but the impact this will have on your son (significant) and how equipped you are to handle the questions about how your baby came to be conceived, those questions will come from your son, your child as they get older and also nosy people. What’s driving you to think that you want another child? Has something happened that has prompted this or have you been thinking about it for a while?

At 33 I wouldn't worry too much. 😊

Haha - I think 33 would be even quite young for a first time mum round here.

The average age for having your first baby is over 30
now in the UK.

One can probably assume there are more complex reasons, if they are having their first at 45.

I know of a few women who have had (or been trying) in their 40s for their first and their stories usually involve many years of infertility, miscarriage etc.

So it’s probably not just that they didn’t fancy it until 45.

Thank you all, i really appreciate you taking the time to read and reply. I worry sometimes that my son will be alone when im old or dead (sorry for the deep bit!) and i want him to have someone. I have also been broody for years now, but never brave enough to do it.
Everytime ive spoken with someone about it they say "oh well 35 is a geriatric pregnancy so a bit dodgy" and things along those lines that worry me.
Your responses have all really helped x

I had my second sperm donner baby at 45
ivf cost us £25k because you won’t get it on the nhs

In uk for last 8 years routine blood test tell you with near 💯 accuracy at 9 weeks if baby is downs or Edward’s your chances at 33 with a healthy screened donner are extremely, extremely low

nursery fees in London are £1400-2000 a month full time

age/ energy / love was never an issue - money was !

Have you thought about fostering ?

I was two months off 34 when I had ds.Perfect age imo.

First at 34 I'm 39 now and 24 weeks pregnant x

I don’t think there are any risks but can see why you’d be concerned if you’re just thinking about it now, as you’ll have to wait around for the whole donor process. I’m the same age as you and also had children when I was young, so I would definitely feel “too old” to have more children now as my kids are so grown up, but there aren’t any real risks.

Are you joking? I genuinely lol'd at your title 😆

Too old? Haha definitely not! I wasn't ready to even think about having children at that age.

In my circle, everyone is having babies in their 30's and 40's and i'm sure the average age for a first child now in the western world is about 31!

I was 37 when I had my first and I actually commented to the midwife about being over 35 and 'geriatric'. She just laughed and said they didn't even bat an eyelid these days until you're over 40 as it's so common.

I'm now 42 and 27 weeks pregnant with baby number 2. Conceived naturally, all going well, no issues on scans and low risk NIPT..... my age has barely been mentioned.

My two perfect children were effortlessly conceived at 37 and 40, I reckon at 33 if you want another kid you probably can .

(I realise that there are many couples who have much more challenging routes to children, but this isn’t always the case)