How to tell work I'm expecting again!

[MaltipooMama]

So having an absolute conundrum so thought I would try and get some advice and keep my fingers crossed that someone can offer some pearls of wisdom!!

I've worked at my current organisation for 10 years, was promoted in April 2023 to senior managerial level (I was a lower level manager prior to this) and the week before I started found out we were expecting our first child! I was only six weeks along on my first day in the new role but decided to tell my new line manager immediately to ensure they could organise a temporary replacement for me whilst on maternity leave. They took the news really well, I've been really loyal over the 10 years so they were very happy for me which was lovely.

I started my maternity leave end of November 2023 and have been lucky enough to be able to take a years mat leave (well 11.5 months and then 6 weeks annual leave), meaning my return to work date is 6th January 2025.

So, the predicament... we have found out amazingly that we have managed to conceive AGAIN! Our second child is now 8 weeks along and I'm just absolutely dreading having to tell work the news this time. I feel so awful and guilty that I'm going back for only 6 months before taking what will likely be a further 12 months off. I feel like they'll think I'm taking the absolute piss, but the reality is I'm nearly 39 and didn't have a whole lot of time to spare!

How would you go about sharing this news? Or alternatively if you're a line manager, what would help you to receive this news from one of your reports as best and logical as possible?

Appreciate any advice, I'm tying myself up in knots about it and not able to enjoy a second of this pregnancy without feeling absolutely shit 😔

Little bump!

I can understand your trepidation, but there's not a lot to be done, and not a lot they can do either. It sort of is what it is. Can you just tell them, ideally before your current cover finishes, in case they can extend their position? Hopefully they'll be understanding about it if they're decent employers.

Are you doing any KiT days? I think I'd try and tell your manager in person or over the phone if possible and follow up with an email so they have it in writing.
I'd probably wait until closer to 12weeks to tell them if it were me but its a very personal decision.

Well they probably will think you're taking the piss but you can't exactly turn back time now. Maybe just tell them asap.

Congratulations! If they know you well and your age etc (which it sounds like they do) then there's every chance they'll have thought this scenario was a possibility and not be as surprised as you think.

I'm awful for worrying so I feel rich saying this but please enjoy your pregnancy. As soon as you've told then the main worry at the moment will be gone so maybe just go for it?

Firstly, congratulations on your pregnancy!

You aren't the first or the last woman that has been in this situation.

Depending on the culture and the size of your company, I'd consider telling your manager now, preferably in person, because they might choose to keep your mat leave cover in place until you are on leave again for continuity. Six months of additional salary might be worth re-recruiting and training a second cover person.

Remember this isn't your fault, you are entitled to your maternity leave and can't be penalised as a result.

Best of luck!

Are you entitled to another full year on pay if you only return for 6 months ?

HR Director here. Stop worrying and put itnout of your mind until 6th January. Tell them on 7th January.

It happens more than you think. Congratulations!

I once had a member of staff who had four children in five years. I barely met her. She had rights as do you.

Thank you for your helpful advice and your kind words of congratulations 🥰 I think I do agree that I need to bite the bullet and tell them sooner rather than later as I can't really seem to concentrate on anything else at the moment. My role is a regional manager role and as such my line manager lives way up north and is rarely in the city I live in. I had a scan today and so far everything seems to be progressing well with the pregnancy so I will go ahead with booking in a Teams call with my manager either this week or next so they can decide on what to do regarding their recruitment for my role. Just I suppose struggling with how to position the conversation or even what to say first to open the conversation up! So if anyone has any suggestions I would be grateful for any tips! So weird I normally pride myself on being quite assertive and have never shied away from difficult conversations but my god this one has me stumped!

Our maternity leave policy is only six weeks full pay and six weeks half pay, the rest is statutory so my partner and I have largely funded the year ourselves

I must say I have breathed a little sigh of relief after reading your message, thank you I really appreciate hearing your advice from an HR perspective

Happens all the time. Tell them the day you get back. Whatever arrangements for cover they made first time they may be able to do again, so actually there are benefits to this being soon after your return.

Thank you, it may be worth mentioning and I actually should have in my OP, that the member of staff they have covering me is an internal colleague (the equivalent of my role but covering different areas), who has been overseeing my region so hopefully this will make the situation slightly easier

Ah yes, this was me a long time ago. I went back from a year's maternity leave already five months pregnant with the next one. I did try to hide it for a bit, but it was just too obvious. I went back to work in September and off I went on maternity leave again at Christmas. Telling them was difficult, but there wasn't much they could do. They were able to keep my maternity cover on so she could cover for me again, which was great for them and for her career as she was stepping up a level. As for how to tell them, straight out is the best way. It'll all be fine. Congratulations, by the way!

I've only returned for 5 months! I just gave them a heads up before I officially went back

It happens regularly. What's going to happen? You can't unmake it happen and they cant sack you. They'll offer some platitudes of congratulations and everyone will get on with it.
I used to work with a woman who dovetailed 4 children over 5 years. She'd come back for a month or two and then would be off again. After the last ML she resigned. She clearly didn't give two hoots.

You are entitled to have babies and it makes no difference whether they is 6 months or 6 years between your maternity leaves....you still have the right to mat leave. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Thank you all for your words

Sorry sent too soon! Thank you for your words of encouragement and for sharing your own experiences, I really am over the moon about the pregnancy, I suppose it's just a shock as I actually conceived whilst on the mini pill! The plan was always to go back to work for a substantial period of time first but then who knows, I may have done that and then found I had problems conceiving so I really am lucky. I have a bit of a plan now for how to communicate this with work so feeling a lot better about this now

I'm on maternity leave. Pregnant with my third. Will be back to work in Jan. Only be back to work for a few months x

I'm in he same position with an even shorter return period and felt exactly like you do.

I have been back at work for about 12 weeks and due to go on my second maternity leave in the next couple of week 🙂

I was so nervous about telling my manager but my best advice is to be positve about it, tell them you have some more lovely news, and don't be apologetic because you absolutely don't need to be. I was prepared to be all 'sorry to say I'll be going off again soon, I realise this leaves you in the lurch' blah blah but I'm so glad I didn't!

My manager was clearly shocked and they haven't been great about it, and certainly haven't made it easy (but that's a separate issue). It's not your job to sort their resourcing issues. An organisation that is run well should be equipped to deal with their staff going on maternity leave, regardless of the time they have been back at work.

Best of luck xxx

I don’t think this is uncommon tbh. Quite a few people at my work have done this. I’ve just gone back from 9 months Maternity leave and we’re planning to get pregnant next year some time for number 2.

Also there’s nothing you can do and nothing work can do. May be worth telling them sooner so your current replacement can maybe stay on for it but that’s up to you.

eh?

Judgy much