Due February 2025 - Thread 4

[UrbanSquirrel]

Just creating this so that we have somewhere to continue when Thread 3 fills up. If you're due to have a baby in February 2025 (or late January or early March, as we have a wide spread!), come join us for support, advice and (at present) some really useful Black Friday recommendations! Big welcoming hugs to all the usual suspects coming over from Thread 3 🤗

@retrievermum I saw a video of a ventouse delivery for the first time recently. I know they tell you to expect a cone head, but WOW. It was so much more pronounced than I had expected. Like the baby was wearing a flesh-coloured fez. 😁

‼️ Quick announcement for anyone who doesn't check the Facebook group that often. We're setting up a region-specific WhatsApp group for members of the Feb 25 gang who live in the London / Surrey area, with a view to local support and potential meet ups in the future.

If you'd like to join, you can find my post on the MChat Facebook group here:

www.facebook.com/share/p/15NrUg2G9y/?

And DM me with your mobile number to be added.

If you don't use Facebook, but want to join the WhatsApp group, DM me here on Mumsnet (but flag that you've done so on this thread, because I use the app and don't automatically see DM notifications).

Thanks team! x

@QuantumPanic you put your finger on things I've been wondering. In particular, I wonder if my potential order of preference should be for a vaginal delivery, but then with the plan to opt for a cesarean at the time if it looks like forceps/ventouse might be involved, to avoid the high likelihood of damage in an assisted delivery. I think this should be possible - I have a friend who basically did this. Yet I am hesitant.

Either way, I'm definitely seeing a birth "plan" as more of a "decision tree", and will be printing one out for the hospital team. I really hope they take it OK!

I haven't had a spare minute to write on here but I love hearing everyone's news. I'm glad to report that last week baby took to scratching at my pelvis whenever I walked - it felt exactly like having a smear test but from the inside 😬 - but that he seems to have listened to my pleas to stop! I've also now spent more money on compression socks for my swollen ankles than I spent on our carrycot 🤣 (this is not an exaggeration, although the carrycot was secondhand...)

@CarrotySnack Oh god, your poor pelvis. That sounds deeply uncomfortable 😳 Glad the baby has stopped on command - he clearly knows which side his bread is buttered!

I queried about whether ventouse/forceps could have been used with my last birth and basically got told it’s quite hard in that you basically need instrumental or a c section most of the time.

A c section at full dilation can be quite risky I think, and it often comes down to whether baby gets far enough down the birth canal to be able to be helped out. Essentially, if they’re half way down, they need pulling out vaginally, if they’re not, a section is easier, as it’s very tricky to shove baby back up and then perform a c section (this happened to my cousins wife and baby was in quite a bad way when she was born).

Again, not saying it to frighten anyone (and I know a few people who’ve had instrumental deliveries and it’s been totally fine!) but just to try and help you all avoid the trauma of not knowing what’s going on if it happens!

I’m not a professional at ALL but I’ve researched quite a bit and spoken to quite a few senior midwives about birth etc so I like to think I’m vaguely helpful, please tell me to shut up if not haha!

@retrievermum Thanks for pointing that out - it makes perfect sense and, of course, it had not occurred to me. So there is a point at which an instrumental delivery becomes effectively inevitable, or at least extremely advisable for the health of the baby. It's good to be prepared for that/ prepared to make an early call to prevent getting to that stage if dead set on avoiding instruments.

I had a C Section at full dilation after failed forceps delivery, he was back to back and twisted so even with forceps they couldn't get him out. He had some breathing difficulties when first born and I didn't get to see him for what felt like ages after the section while the Doctors made sure he was OK, that bit was awful looking back no idea if he was OK although the midwife was very reassuring and did take some pictures for us eventually. No long lasting issues for him though.

Also had no idea the trauma on the cervix having a c section at full dilation until this pregnancy. It's the reason I have short cervix this time and have been on pessaries and risk of pre term labour!

I would most definitely advocate for heading for c section before it got too late if possible but my consultant already flagged this if baby moves and I do go down VBAC route, just not so sure how feasible that is.

Thank you so much @retrievermum and @elb1504, although really sorry to hear what a difficult birth you had, elb1504. This all makes a lot of sense and I'm so grateful because I hadn't worked this out at all, despite having also asked my midwife what happens if baby is already going down the vaginal route and you need a cesarean. I expect she was trying to be reassuring with her answer, which is understandable, but she made it all sound like it was a non-issue. Thanks for pointing out, @QuantumPanic, that this means we/I will need to keep an eye on when things start to get too late for a section - you're so right.

I had forceps last time with a lot of damage but still preferred that to a c section. What I wish is that I had been encouraged to move positions and try other things before it got to that stage! That's part of why we're using a doula this time around.

@UrbanSquirrel I've dmd you about the WhatsApp group

Brilliant, thanks @MaiaForEmperor - will go check x

@retrievermum @ridl14 @UrbanSquirrel It's so stressful not having a pattern isn't it. I've noticed my movements feel different recently too. Less kicks and more rolls or squirms I guess. Not sure if this is normal. Still get these random fast movements every now and again!

Regarding birth, I will defintely be having a c-section due to being very high risk and having an emergency c-section with my girl. I don't have a choice.

Hope everyone is ok.

Hi everyone, are you all starting to feel like it’s more real now or is it just me? 🥰
I almost feel like I’ve been in denial for most of my pregnancy 🤣. Like I knew I was pregnant but birth seemed so far away and now it’s dawned on me that I will be meeting my son soon!! I’m so excited, literally cannot wait to have him in my arms ♥️

As for birth plans, after talking to the consultant about the potential (big) size of our baby as well as having chats in our NCT class I decided to ask for an elective c-section when the time comes. I’m seeing my consultant on Monday to monitor my blood pressure but I think she wanted to wait for the next growth scan before any decisions are made. Still I feel like this may be the best option for our family (even if sometimes people give me strange looks when I express that) and after the NCT class I feel more confident about advocating for myself with this. I shall keep you posted. It feels so strange that soon we’ll be updating each other on actual births and I can’t wait!!

Thanks ladies very interesting to read about past births and current birth plans! Yes my last birth ended in a forceps delivery, baby was coming down with each push but then going back up slightly they said? I think he was perhaps a bit large for me to get out, but anyway they were very careful with the forceps and I was amazed they actually scan you as they do it to check the forceps plates are on the sides of babies head rather than face and back of head. It was all quite scary though and I remember the doctor talking to me about risks of forceps as she was about to do the delivery! At that point what are you supposed to do other than put your trust in the doctors? Anyway I do feel like my recovery was difficult which is why I've opted for elective c section this time. Plus this baby is measuring even bigger than my last at the moment! Eek.

As a former midwife and someone who very passionately didn’t want a certain type of birth, the most useful bit is thinking things through to know what you do and don’t want, an ideal scenario and then any requests if things go sideways.

If you’re midwife led, then do you want an epidural? If not & assuming there’s a midwife led unit where you’re planning to give birth - would you like to go there? Even knowing that and what options you have and what midwife led means is really useful. Worth thinking what analgesia are you open to trying? Water? Hypnobirthing? Gas and air? Same with massage, positions, any music you’d like. You don’t have to write this all down but I think the process of knowing your options and then making a plan A for if you just go into labour and birth a baby uneventfully, and then plan B/C if you need them.

For me, for example, I knew I wanted as physiological a birth as possible. So I started on the midwife led unit, had done hypnobirthing, had spent a lot of time in the bath relaxing in pregnancy so I’d have that water-relaxation connection, and knew I categorically didn’t want pethidine. As luck would have it the baby just arrived but knowing the benefits of not just going to the labour ward, for example, as a low risk first time mum was worthwhile.

Very long and rambly I apologise!

Thanks everyone who has commented with their experiences - you have all given me a lot to think about! @OrangeSlices998 Not too long and rambly at all - thanks so much for taking the time to type such a comprehensive comment. 💛 I've got some homework to do. 🫡

@Hhdxx about movements, yes!!! Completely agree. See, I felt like the baby is moving strangely and when I read your latest post I thought 'yes that's it' I feel she kicks less = kind of feeling of less movements but at the same time she's pushing more, making strangers moves and then rapid movements now and then. So, she moves but it's a completely different way to move than before. I guess lack of room.

@ThisLimeDeer I started to feel this is real a couple of weeks ago and it's freaking me out. Hahahaha on one way I want to meet my baby girl and having her on my arms and enjoy our new chapter in life but on the other hand I don't feel prepared for labour (I'm terrified tbh. I always knew I wanted to be a mum but I hated the idea of birth and pregnancy) I guess typical first mum worries. @ThisLimerDeer

The pictures are amazing!! Absolutely love the angry alien one bless her 😂😂

Very sore bump and very sore vagina today, feeling so sorry for myself! Hope everyone else is doing better than I am!

@OrangeSlices998 thank you for all these really helpful thoughts. I'm going to follow your lead on a few of them - having more regular baths to get used to associating warm water with relaxation sounds good.

@retrievermum sorry to hear this! I hope it will pass. I was feeling sore for a few days the other day, I assumed I'd reached a new level, but it seems to have eased again.

My movements are finally finding a pattern - at week 33+5 ! Wriggly bum time for 10 or so mins, sleep for roughly a hour, repeat. And ignore all attempts by concerned mother to rouse while sleeping. It feels much closer to a newborn's pattern, somehow.

Oh @retrievermum so sorry to hear you're suffering. That sounds horrible. Hope it eases off very soon and that you're feeling better in time for the weekend 🤗 x

On a lighter note, I have just made the (possible) mistake of watching the first three episodes of Motherland. Am now traumatised by the prospect of what lies before us all 😜

Anyone who already has kids - please tell me it isn't really this bad? 😂 x

@retrievermum Hope you feel better soon. It's all starting to feel a bit rough, isn't it? I think I've caught some kind of cold for the 100th time (outside of pregnancy I'm never normally sick). Can't tell what's back pain from heaving around a baby in a bag of fluid and what's aches from the flu.

I'm really leaning into the dramatic moaning/groaning. 😂

@QuantumPanic I'm also into dramatic groaning stage 😂 Last few days I've been waking at 4am and not going back to sleep so it's making me feel awful by mid afternoon! Definitely getting to the being miserable, achy and heavy stage but 2 weeks off after today for Christmas should help!

Hello all. Had my 32 week growth scan yesterday and little one is 5lbs now at 32+4!

Downside is I've been diagnosed with polyhydramnios which is very high fluid around baby but doesn't seem to be affecting him thankfully but looks like it'll be 39w induction unless he comes by himself beforehand or if an earlier induction is planned. No reason for my big baby or high fluid apparently so not too concerned, can't believe we are all so close now. I am so excited to meet him 😫

Had a 32 week growth scan, totally not worried about it because my daughter was small but my son was perfectly sized.

Well 3rd babies like to show you you don’t have a clue what you’re doing because she isn’t just small, she’s potentially growth-restricted small. Cried a lot yesterday, mainly just the fear and anxiety for her and wanting her to be safe. It will I think change my birth plans unless the next scan (in 2 weeks) says something drastically different. Her tummy measurement in particular was v tiny compared to her head and legs which can indicate she’s not getting enough to grow evenly. The placental function all seemed okay on the scan, fluids normal, and she’s very active. Just absolutely terrified now and hope she’s just small and mighty 😢