Due December 2024 - thread 2

[CatCaretaker]

Follow on from the first thread here:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5032929-due-december-2024?page=40

@Soontobemumof2kids I actually did think last night that labour could be starting. Back was aching and lots of period-like cramps, but no, false alarm.

I did read though that some people do vomit just before labour starts.

Anyone else have constant lower back pain? I've had 2 urine tests which have both come back as 'heavy mixed growth' so I have no idea if it's caused by a uti

@Bluesea14 yes, and it’s getting worse, had to take some paracetamol this morning which has eased it a bit. Have you had any other uti symptoms?

I have to say ladies, I'm struggling.... Feeling like abit of a failure. Baby boy is amazing, he's so content and easy, but my recovery is hard. I know it's only been 3 days, but I feel so redundant. I'm basically just managing to shower a day, and then staying around the bedroom. I am moving around, upstairs but that's it. I haven't been downstairs since I arrived home.
I feel like I'm loosing patience and getting overly frustrated and anxious about trivial things because I'm just in pain. The only time I'm not is if I'm laid down, still. Even going to the toilet feel momentous. Everytime I stand I struggle to straighten up, just feels like my incision is going to rip open. I've got a constant burning sensation in it. I've no idea what it looks like yet, as the dressing they applied has to stay on until Tuesday when someone is coming to remove it. Scared about that too, almost as if seeing the wound makes it feel worse and I'm scared about it being so open.. my milk has come in and my boobs are like rocks and so sore. Just feeling meh. And wishing to feel better so I can fully embrace being a mum. My DH has been incrediable, but I even feel guilty that he's doing almost everything. He keeps telling me how well I'm doing but I don't feel like it. Sorry to be miserable... just needed an outlet.

Oh @Lunamoon23 how you’re Feeling is totally normal. It’s the drop in hormones and tiredness. Day 3 after I had my DS1 I was an emotional wreck, felt like I couldn’t do anything right and was snapping at DP.

Is your midwife coming to see you every day? Talk to them about how you’re feeling. Try not to be so hard on yourself, you’ve just had abdominal surgery and birthed a human being, your body has been through a lot and recovery will take time.

@MaybeBaby2024 I haven't seen anyone since I've been home. Someone was meant to come on Saturday, which I was called about on Friday, and I declined. In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have but they rang me just after I got home and I was feeling completely exhausted, in excruciating pain and feeling overwhelmed. Id had a rough day the day of discharge, the hospital was a nightmare and I'd really just had enough, I'd just had to have my mum and sister help me shower and dry myself and the thought of having someone come over the following day was just too much. My midwife was fine about it. But I've got someone coming on Tuesday..

I'm glad to hear I'm not alone though. I've been quite snappy today with DH which I cried and apologised for after the fact. Just feeling a mess and can't wait to come out the other side!

Hi @Lunamoon23 sorry you're feeling this way. Post partum is brutal but remember in addition to the physical aspect of what your body has gone through, your hormones are raging as well. Days 3 and 5 are when you have a big crash of hormones and it's so, so normal (at any stage in the first 2 weeks but especially on these days) to feel really emotional. You've done an amazing thing, please give yourself time to heal and like @MaybeBaby2024 says please make sure you share with your midwife (and health visitor) how you have been feeling, they can support you.

Also honestly, managing to shower every day is a huge accomplishment in itself! You are doing amazingly, even though I know it won't feel that way right now xxxxx

@Lunamoon23 honestly how you feel is totally normal. The first couple of weeks are rough, exhaustion, pain, dipping hormones, trying to learn how to look after a baby when you’ve never done it before, anyone would feel overwhelmed.

I cried a lot in those first 2 weeks, I did end up needing to see my GP and the mental health team because it developed into post natal depression, but that doesn’t happen to everyone.

Don’t bottle up how you feel, being a new mum is hard. And you have all of us here to talk to as well. Helps chatting to people who are going through the same thing and understand.

@MaybeBaby2024 @HelterSkelter224 thank you ladies, just writing it down in this group and having you reply has helped. I had a good cry to DH and feel alot better for it.
I think I was putting too much expectation on myself to have the Caesarean and just feel 'fine'. I think the actual High level of pain has shocked me, and I think that last day in hospital really affected me. It really really overwhelmed me and come discharge I was feeling just cross and overwhelmed.
I'll try and be a-bit kinder to myself over the next few days. I think I need to try and sleep a little more too, during the day I'll try and squeeze in a nap for an hour over the next couple of days. I think the pain aswell as disturbed sleep is just depleting me. Thank you ladies. Sorry to moan x

@Lunamoon23 ❤️❤️❤️ never apologise x

@Lunamoon23 we are all here to support each other. No need to apologise.

Im sure I’ll be back on here in a couple of weeks myself feeling dreadful after my baby is born. But it’s good knowing it will pass. It sounds like you have a great family support system around you too which helps.

@Lunamoon23
Sounds all very normal to me from friends (and women on this thread).
You've had a major surgery, and the biggest life change possible.
You must be gentle with yourself.
You made a human, and now you're looking after your human.
Hormones aside, that's overwhelming enough to say the least.
It doesn't matter than you are staying in your room for a few days, each day your body will get stronger and eventually you'll be out and about again.
Proud of you!xx

@Lunamoon23 echoing what everyone else has said previously. Postpartum is a bit mental and the drop in hormones is crazy. It’s the largest sudden hormone change a person experiences in their life, and it's similar to taking 100 birth control pills a day!

Be kind to yourself, you’ve been through a lot and what you are experiencing is totally normal.

Sooooo over this!! Up at 4 am again!! For no good reason.

@LilyJessie I’ve got really bad insomnia as well. I’m usually awake for 2/3 hours in the middle of the night, or awake at 4am ready for the day.

Thankfully, it’s my first day of maternity leave today so going to take advantage of my toddler being in nursery and nap. However, it was brutal working on so little sleep and then having to parent etc.

@Firsttimetrier
it's my first day of Mat Leave too!
39 weeks today for me!
Happy Mat Leave Day!!
I think you're amazing to do this all this a toddler. It's my first and I have no idea how to manage it when we try for a second.
Women are warriors!!

Another one in the insomnia boat.

Was awake 1am until 5am this morning 😭

Off to triage today for RFM too.

What a Monday!

@OnNaturesCourse
Oh bless you.
Let us know, I'm sure it's all fine ♥️
Such a stressful time.
Hurry up babies and get here so we can worry about you and see you!!
Xxx

Thank you again ladies for your words of wisdom. It really helped. ❤️❤️

We had a rough night last night, little man just wouldn't settle, we tried literally everything and everytime we put him down he just wailed and cried. 4am we finally got him to sleep and then he was up again at 7.30am, and again, pretty restless and crying.
We think maybe he's got some trapped gas, but, really unsure as he's also been breaking wind alot. We've done everything to help relieve that too but he still seems unhappy. Currently in bed nap trapped as he's fallen asleep on my chest and I'm scared to move him through fear he'll cry again 😂😅

Serves me right for jinxing myself saying he never cry's 😂 he's found his lungs! Poor DH looks like the walking dead haha. We've got my sister and mum popping over late this afternoon, going to get them to do a couple bits and bobs to take the pressure off him a little, hang some washing out etc. it takes a village! X

@Lunamoon23 have you tried infacol for gas? Was an absolute lifesaver for us!!

(And enjoy the snuggles!!!)

We started using it very late last night as I forgot I had it.
Gave it again this morning with his morning bottle 🤞🏼 hoping come this afternoon it makes some difference.
Did you give it before every feed? Directly into his mouth? X

@Lunamoon23 sending you love.
be kind and gentle to yourself and please let others take care of you in this time.
Your recovery is so important and you will be so glad you took the time to do it. I know it’s frustrating when you’re used to doing it all.
the hormone crash is horrible, I cried for weeks with my last one! Speak to your GP and reach out to friends and family if you need to.

sleep- my DS didn’t sleep in his crib for 3 months!! Maybe even longer. I spent nights upon nights with him on me- taking shifts with my DH. It was madness.
they scare you so much about SIDS that you feel helpless and can’t do anything! This time it’s been different so I’m grateful but the constant holding was hard work because you can’t sleep yourself 😅
one thing that helped us was a sleep bag! And leveling the next to me with our mattress so I could feed to sleep in there and roll back into my bed - always close by for a hand on baby if needed.

baby boy just wants to be close to mama!
You’re doing an amazing job. It does get easier I promise!!

Haven't posted for a while because our little girl was born last Sunday 08/12/24 (a week old now, eek!!). Waters broke and contractions started at 23:30 last Saturday and she was here at 05:05 Sunday, so only a 5.5h labour, 1.5 weeks before due date, and she's my first!! I feel lucky to have had a quick labour but unlucky that we had a car accident on the way to the hospital (when my contractions were 3 mins apart) which totalled our car so I was on all 4s on the road for 40 mins waiting for the ambulance. My partner says they were brushing leaves and twigs off me between contractions in the delivery room!

Most importantly our little miracle is here and she's perfect and we're obsessed, so all in all I'm just so grateful for that 💞

@Lunamoon23 so sorry you're feeling rubbish :( I had a really tough couple of days on days 2 and 3 because I found breastfeeding so hard because she wouldn't latch. I think it's important to remember that yes, everything feels absolutely so much worse because of our hormones, but that these feelings are totally valid and we absolutely can feel this way. Sending love to everyone struggling 💞

@GammaTheGecko honestly sounds like something out of a movie! I can’t even picture how I would have dealt with a situation like this. Glad you are all okay and hope you’ve had time to process everything ❤️