Pregnant, 40+ and Proud: Fabulous Mummies Sign Up Here!

[Takenoprisoners]

Following Ms Dynamo's wonderful news of her pregnancy and all the rest of us who are coming out of the woodwork ...a new, morale-boosting thread for those of us in our 40s currently going through pregnancy.

Come on, sign up: we are 40+ and FABULOUSLY PREGNANT!!!

I echo much of what kaz1967 has just posted.

Must reiterate, it is personal choice but I think that perhaps as we get older we learn there is more to life and become more tolerant and yes, we have the confidence to stand up for what WE want

confusedmamma if you have a skim over some of the previous posts on this thread we've thrown a few ideas in the pot regarding our experience of testing (or not as the case may be).

It's a purely personal thing and something that you should think about before venturing into. I decided against testing for myself as I didn't want what will be my final pregnancy to be tinged with anxiety for months on end.

However I must stress that I (and importantly my partner) have accepted that if our child has disabilities then we will work around this and accept the situation.

You must also be more positive and look at the statistics; the chances of Downs at age 41 (which I myself am) is 1:80. The means you have more chance of conceiving twins (1:60). I've had 3 children, none of which are twins I am not sure at age 43 what the stats are but I am sure they are easily accessible on the net somewhere.

I'm sorry that you're not having as much luck as some of the ladies on here but bear in mind, I doubt there are many of us over 40's that conceived straight away.

Hi again - had dating scan and am 9 weeks pregnant due on 29th November - back in 3 weeks for 12 week and NT scan.
Hope everybody's OK you all seem like a very happy bunch - glad I joined !
Speak soon
Macca

OMG Johnworf ... I was just going to post that I fancied Jeremy Paxman and saw you had beat me to it! It's that craggy mountain of a face that I love, with the biting, cynical, take-no-prisoners attitude . MsDynamo, I can also relate to the John Snow thing, but Paxo is tops!!

Have just started skimming comments on buggies and more testing issues - am behind on reading up on all these wonderful posts, so will check back later.

hehe @ TNP. I especially like it when it starts with his 'come on, COME ON' on University Challenge. Does it for me everytime

I also like Andrew Marr but for different reasons (DH calls him 'my husband' as in 'oh look, your husband is on the tv').

confusedmamma Downs does not worry me it was not even a vague concern but then I know a couple of Mums who had a Downs child in their early 30's and older Mums who had children with no problems despite like me not having any of the tests. I am on my own too and we are all have our different tolerances. Downs is a very variable condition though Sars is a friends daughter who has downs. She is 14 at a normal senior school with a little support and expected to do 5 GCSE's at grade c

confusedmama I understand that age supposedly makes a difference to your odds, but judging by many of the threads I've read about testing it appears to concern most families-to-be whatever the age.

I had a 1 in 2 chance after NT scan and bloods - and yes, we went for a CVS as I have a very young dd and we just wanted to know what was what...and no, we'd not particularly considered a termination...just that it would give us time to adjust. DD arrived premature and spent some time in special care...so we knew what a nightmare being unprepared can be! The CVS was all clear....yet I have a friend who had a 1 in 2000 chance after bloods at 31 and Downs was confirmed at 20 weeks! So odds are just that...a gamble. And there are no guarentees that once your baby comes into the world that the little darling isn't going to present you with a million of other problems..!! You just do what's right for you...and GOOD LUCK

Oh lordy - I'm rather partial to Andrew Marr ...is it something to do with power...politics...only that i used to lust after Alistair Campbell too....

confusedmamma I think as others have said the decison regarding testing is up to the individual. I had PAPA blood test, a nucal scan and the triple test and ended with a low risk 1 in 2700 from the starting point of 1 in 80. If the figuers had not come our well I would have had an amnio and then taken it from there, termination would have been a consideration but I really don't know what the decision would have been. But any screening is not an absolute measure it is an indication, my friend just went straight to an amnio because she had to know.
Good luck with your conceiving, Lots of sex is the way to go if you can . There is a over 40s thread on Conception which is great for support

40+ conception thread is here

(Paxo, the mature, thinking-woman's crumpet.)

Pax doesn't do it for me. Now Johnny Depp is another thing completely, Ooo I have come over all funny I must go and have a lie down

Well can all but dream.....

I'm in skiving mode this afternoon and going through the reviews of re-usable nappies in the Reviews Section on here.

I'm a bit confused with the new re-usables. I used the old fashioned terry squares on a couple of mine (which were hit and miss) but I really fancy giving these new ones a try. It's all the wrap/nippers/fleece etc that confuse me.

I read that Tots Bots are good but have no idea where to start with them. Any ideas ladies? Please share

Going back to the post regarding testing, I'm going for my 20 (21) week scan next Tuesday and really not given it a second thought about Downs etc. (I've not had the triple test or anything else). I'm sure I read that there's a possibility of spotting Downs at the anomaly scan - possibly from heart defects???

Anyway as long as it comes out relatively healthy not that bothered really

They can often pick up Downs at the 20 weeks I think you are right heart problems possibly kidney also and lack of nasal bone.

I did try reusable nappies with my son but didn't really get on too well he kept getting eczema on his bum regardless of how much barrier cream I used or how may rinses I tried. And in the end it was just another thing to beat myself up about so I stopped!

But some local authorities have trial packs you can try for a couple of weeks, which have a selection of designs in so you can find something that suits the baby and you like. I would say if you do decide to buy just by a few and see how you go to make sure you have go the right ones for you.

I still have mine and I will try them again this time.

I have just had my nuchal test combined with a blood test and it came back with a very low risk, so I am not going for amnio or CVS.

I had to pay privately for the nuchal as the NHS round here only does the triple test at 16 weeks and I wanted the nuchal at 12.

(I have no patience!)

I really don't know what I would have done if it had come back as positive for Downs, but I suppose that it would be best to know.

Good luck confusedmama with TTC!

Yep heart problems as well as other problems can be a sign of downs but they can be there without Downs

Yes, Johnworf, they can detect Downs markers at the 20 week scan - the heart, and I think they also look at the nasal cartiledge, too. I was very nervous about going for the scan as I said, but talked myself into it as I wanted to know about the placenta, so I focused on that and tried not to worry too much about the baby - easier said than done.

Re nappies - for both my DSs, I used a combo of disposables (much more absorbent for night-time and easier when out) and the old-fashioned terry squares held in place by the new breathable-fabric wraps. New wraps much better than plastic pants, which are ... pants. I also have some shaped terry ones, with adjustable poppers on them, which worked quite well, too.

So it's a mixed bag on the re-usable nappy front?

I'm thinking that I'll have to go with disposable ones for the first few weeks anyway - I'm not superwoman with a caesarian scar! I'll see how it goes from there.

Btw, our local authority offers you nothing as an incentive to use re-usable (I checked )

I was talking to a friend last night who I bought some baby things off and she was telling me she was hoovering 9 days after her section!!! I don't want to hoover 9 years after mine

takenoprisoners good tactic and one I may use next Tuesday when I go for my scan. I'm rather looking forward to finding out the sex of this one - a luxury I never had on my other three. So I'll focus on that on not on bad things

johnworf I use both re-usables and disposables...a bit of mix and match. I think it's best to wait and see what shape the munchkin is when it arrives. I went for Motherease shaped all-in-ones with a wrap and they've really never been the right fit for her (and her thunder thighs) I liked the tots bots but once they'd got a wrap on them I found clothes so hard to fit as they were HUGE. I've just invested in some all-in-ones...that actually work! Got some called Bumgenius...a bit £££ but wash and dry really quickly and aren't remotely a faff to use....I'm really in love withe them! Shall get small versions for next dc.

Just got stuff for my bag...3 packs of maternity pads make it all seem very real...and close

Hoovering after 9 days....that's just wrong!

i was 33 when i had my son who has downs and yes on the scan they saw he had heart problems and only 1 kidney hes nearly 7 in july actually when this baby is due
i agree downs is a variable condition hes doing ok for a chid with his condition,it does have its limits,and you have to be reasonable in the expectations you have from them.
charlie is due to have open heart surgery next year,hes very small at only 2 stone dead on
when i went for my 20 week scan this time the sonographer had the consultant in there and he asked me what my choice would be if they found a problem i said straight whatever hes got i will cope
he turned the tv screen round so i could see him then
i know its a personal choice but to me hes my son i have been given a gift and no defects or downs is going to deter me from enjoying this pregnancy i cant wait till hes born seems ages away which is good in a way as im not mentally ready to do it just yet
we find out on may 19th wheher Samuel has a genetic syndrome or not
the only thing i feel guilty of is if sam has a problem which they are 50/50 of right now i will feel bad if he has to have heart ops like one of my other sons,
guilt is a terrible thing when it comes to making a desicion i want me child whatever but is it fair for him to be born disabled that was my dilemma but ive gone ahead and taken the chance i will love him no matter
what maybe thats the only thing that matters
what do you all think of this?

disneystar I think it's really personal I feel similar to you about this pregnancy that is is a gift and what ever is thrown at me I can cope. I have 2 friends who did not feel like that one had an amnio to test for Downs and did not tell anyone at work because she felt they would judge her and she was going to have a termination if it had Downs (I find that so sad what right has anyone else to judge?) to because she felt it would be detrimental to her daughter, The baby was fine a beautiful boy who will be hardly a baby now he must be at school The other was a girl in my previous job she already had a son with CF an felt she could not deal with a second child with this, not only because of all the health problems and medication they have but also the prospect of loosing another child at an early age. Her 2nd pregnancy was positive so she had a termination her 3rd was fine and she had a beautiful girl

I think that it's such an individual thing. It's incredibly hard. I was 38 when I had my DS and didn't have invasive testing (though had nuchal as it was given when had my 12 week scan). I was given 1:500 which was ok. I decided then that I didn't want any further tests though they were offered - whatever happened I would deal with it. I was anxious in my pregnancy though. DS born perfect and all was well. This time, age 40, I am booked for a CVS on 21st May at Kings. I am anxious over it and the thought of miscarriage or having to face agonising decisions terrifies me but I had to think that I have a 20 month son already, only just out of being a baby himself. He needs me and still needs time and I have to think of him his development. I have to think of the responsibility it would put on him as he grew up to have a sibling that he may need to care for and what that may do to his life. I have to think of DH and how he would cope. It's all hard, serious stuff. I can totally understand people not wanting to find out, especially if it's taken a long time to conceive or is a longed for first child. I think we all probably want to seek some kind of acceptance for our decisions. I have a friend who's pregnant (and 39) who gave me the 'you're mad' disapproving face when I told her of my decision to test. At the end of the day, it's up to us, individually and what is right for our own lives and whatever our choice if it's right for us then it's the right choice and raspberries to anyone else! Saying that of course, I've not had it yet - I could chicken out! Plus of course you can test and test and things can still go wrong. What we have to remember is that the percentage of things going wrong is much smaller than the percentage of things going right. Even at our advanced age!
Well, phew, I feel very serious. I fancy Dr Who (David Tennant), Andrew Marr (so glad I have found some Andrew Marr sisters here) but not Jeremy Paxman or John Snow. Jonny Depp is good.

Hi Minnie - great news about the very low risk on your nuchal - you must be relieved. How did your scan on Monday go? Get any good pictures from it?

Disneystar - for me, you sum it up with the words "gift", "taken the chance" and "will love [him] no matter". That is exactly how I feel, and probably made all the stronger by the many many years of having to wait for our family and what we had to endure to get it.