Pregnant, 40+ and Proud: Fabulous Mummies Sign Up Here!

[Takenoprisoners]

Following Ms Dynamo's wonderful news of her pregnancy and all the rest of us who are coming out of the woodwork ...a new, morale-boosting thread for those of us in our 40s currently going through pregnancy.

Come on, sign up: we are 40+ and FABULOUSLY PREGNANT!!!

Welcome babycakes and wahwah

LOL @ didoreth and jeanjeannie re the conceiving tips! We used the lots of sex technique and my DH is 4 years younger than me There's a lot to be said for it ya know

wahwah I've managed to get pregnant twice over 40 although one resulted in MC but like you say, if you believed everything you read we'd be ready for the scrap heap by now!!

Oh I knew I came here to post something and promptly forgot (I forget everything these days).

I've opted not to have the triple test - it's just my personal thingy. Didn't want months of worrying over false positives.

Wondered what everyone has done and if you had it, did everything turn out ok when you got the results?

I'm having my 20 week anomaly scan next week and the hospital have said they WILL tell me if anything is wrong and I said fine, then I can prepare.

Just wondered what everyone has done....

Johnworf good question - I was going to ask about screening

I had NF at 12 weeks and got a high risk result for DS (combined with bloods 1:30). We decided against further invasive tests despite my Ob getting quite stroppy with me (yes he really did!). It was pointless really as we wouldn't terminate for DS so not worth the risk of MC for me personally.

I have my 20 week scan too in 3 weeks so I suppose we'll find out how things are progressing then.

I must say I now almost wish that I had opted out of all screening as the high risk result did initially cause me a lot of anxiety and sadness (dare I admit that?) which I seem to now be dealing with much better....but still have the odd mind niggles every so often. Anyone else had any high risk results or experiences to share?

like others here i refused a lot of tests like DS
i already have a son with downs hes 7 and lovely and my desicion was if it happens it does but all things indicate this baby has not got it.
the reason i was so shocked with this baby was we carry a genetic gene called crouzons syndrome and 2 of my boys have it including the one with ds
i have had 3 tests with this baby after 20 weeks and each one was inconclusive so i dont really know now having a final test on may 19th and hopefully we will know
i told the consultant im having him whatever the outcome but its been a hard time and my husband and i have suffered in our relationship because of it,
i know i am high risk but im st here 28 weeks now samuel as we are going to call him is kicking away and to me he deserves a chance,so thats what im doing
i have bad days like thinking what have i done but other days hes just a baby to me my new son soon to arrive.
i can understand your niggles and concerns.

as for the ladies saying they had a younger man well its strange and i guess just true for me but in my previous marriage (3 kids)ive had to have fertility treatment for and this time around i married a man 10 years younger than me and no problems at all 3 kids and nearly this one now with no probs at all apart from this surise baby i have fell pregnant within the first month everytime im very lucky.
this genetic syndrome happens 1 in 300,000 we have 2 boys with it so we might be compatible to conceive but we are also compatible together for the gene and how unlucky is that

Welcome Babycakes!

Wahwah - I so agree with you about the negative press there seems to be regarding 'older mothers' and 'leaving it too late'. Especially if they go through the IVF route, if anything goes wrong, the attitude seems to be that the woman has somehow brought it on herself, what can she expect at her age, etc etc blah blah blah. It really annoys me. It's so encouraging to read all the positive comments on here and problem-free pregnancies, and that for those of us experiencing any difficulties, how unlikely it is down to age, but more the unpredictable nature of pregnancy itself.

TheApprentice - thanks for your nice comments about our adopted DS1. I feel so, so lucky we've already got two gorgeous DSs and another DC on the way, too, after so manay years of infertility, I can't tell you. I was initially very reluctant to try IVF and we wanted to go through the adoption route first - which was an amazingly positive experience, one of those things that was 'meant to happen' and I think, subsequently, allowed me to be mentally at ease enough to tackle IVF. Did you conceive your DS with your first attempt or not? How amazing you conceived naturally afterwards, too!

Regarding the comments on testing ... my feeling was not to have any. I didn't even want a 12 week scan, but did opt for the 20 week one, as I thought it might be best to find out if the placenta might be in the way and be forewarned etc (it wasn't). But I was very very uncomfortable, personally, with the whole anxiety-inducing issue of testing, with this pregnancy and with my last, and whatever the final outcome with this baby, so be it, we feel.

The posts regarding testing are very interesting ones...

I decided at 9 weeks I was going to have the nuchal fold test and then changed my mind when I got to the appropriate weeks in my pregnancy to have it done. Don't ask me why because I don't know. Perhaps I'd decided there and then that what will be, will be.

When my consultant asked me at 15 weeks why I had told the MW I didn't want the triple test I just said, because I don't want to (with determined look on face). I'll take this baby however it comes out. She looked kinda surprised at this - a touch of paranoia on my part here but I swear it was a look of BA Barracus saying 'yo damn foo!'

The sonographer at my 12 weeks scan explained about the 20 week anomaly scan and then asked me (again, another one asking) if I was having the triple tests. Once again I said nope. He then, quite adamantly told me that he WOULD be informing me of any deformities and that if I didn't want to know about them then I had to refuse the scan as this was hospital policy.

Personally, and it really is personally as I would not wish to offend anyone, I just couldn't terminate especially now I've felt the munchkin using my bladder as a trampoline.

I don't see why anyone has to be pressurised into a test if they're happy with the outcome whatever it is. I dunno what hospital's/consultant's agendas are really.

I admire you all for refusing tests there are some interesting comments. I had cvs with dd1 and will be having cvs for dc 2. I just would worry too much I think the whole way through.
Well we also went for the lots of sex but since I became pg it has been keep away from me or I might throw up on you !!!

Hi there, can I join?
I'm 40 and 9 weeks pregnant with DC2, due date Dec 1st. Have DS 20 months. Both conceived naturally (am v. lucky) and basically just had lots of sex over ovulation dates.
Didn't have invasive tests with DS (but did have nuchal fold) but have have been referred to Kings (south London) this time for my 12 week scan incase I want a CVS as they do it there and then if you request it. I feel anxious over having it and it's such a personal thing but feel I would be too fretful throughout my pregnancy like Rosa said.
Feeling pretty tired and sick and can't wait to get these early weeks over with and start feeling a bit better (also to have scan etc and feel a bit more relaxed and less anxious). Can't believe starting to feel bloated already. Had to buy a stretchy pair of M&S trousers, elasticated waist and all (v. granny!!).
Really pleased this thread is here!
x

I don't recall even being offered a CVS. Maybe not all hospitals offer it?

rosa what's sex?

Last time I had it was just after New Year - seriously!

Had some bleeding early in this pregnancy (on top of my early worries about MC), then a bit more bleeding about a month ago so it's officially off the menu.

I told my DH we can do it again next New Year. He's delighted

When I went to see my GP to tell her I was pregnant we were just discussing the fact that I was 40 and therefore a 'higher risk' - I was just really asking about my options as I had no idea - and she told me that she could refer me to Kings who do it on the NHS.

Hi Pwcbird and welcome! You will be glad of those M&S stretchy trousers! I bought a (maternaity, mind you!) pair ages ago, found them way too big, even with the band folded over several times on the waist and cursed buying the damn things - now I'm filling them out and glad I've got 'em!

great thread, I am 44 and due to give birth the end of may. Not my first, had babies in my 30's plus one at 41. I have obssesed this pregnancy about being "too old" but after reading all this, I feel good. And according to the studies, I may live longer!

Hi Takenoprisoners. Am wearing stretchy trousers now. They come up to my boobs. I know high-waisted trousers are supposed to be in but this is ridiculous. . Can't chat now as DH waiting for wifely attention now that DS tucked up and asleep. Does it never end for us ladies?? (he's lovely really and no, I don't mean that sort of attention - there's none of that going on at 9 weeks preggers!).

Oooh, I wish this thread had been about when I was pregnant with DS2! Not preggers and don't want to be, but just wanted to pop in and say good luck to you all. I had DS1 at 39 and DS2 at 41, both conceived naturally (top tips: lots of sex and both of you to eat pumpkin seeds on everything).

Anyway, sending lots of good delivery vibes and just know you'll all be fabulous!
Bugmum xx

Interesting discussion about testing....it is soo personal isn't it? We opted for a nuchal scan with blood tests and for dd1 the odds came back around 1 in 3000..not bad for an old bird (then 40) But this time round we ended up with a 1 in 2 chance. Pretty scary - and we decided on a cvs - just so we'd know... and everything came back fine. But the angst testing causes shouldn't be under-estimated. And no one should feel obliged to have any tests by the medical profession...especially because of age...pregnancy itself brings enough stress. I don't think the triple test exists at my hospital....too many false positives...think it's the nuchal fold with bloods as an option.

johnworf rofl at your poor DH waiting patiently for next new year! My DP has already started looking into having 'the snip'....in hope that we can have sex again...without me getting preggers...and we've not been together 3 years yet

pwcbird with trousers that glamorous you should get yourself on the style and beauty topic!!

hello can I join? "Takenoprisioners" good thread name.
I'm 41 at the mo and will be 42 by the time this baby comes. I'm due the 4th Oct same as baby cakes. I have 1 DS who will be 5 when this one is born.
I had a nucal scan and blood tests this time, which I did also for ds but I was so more paranoid and stressed this time round. I have only just started to let myself believe that I'm actually having a baby!!
I was just having a conversation with my mom about how I think i need bifocals, it just felt a bit surreal the idea of a baby and bifocals

I have had a go at the list :
Wahwha - 15 May
Shulli - ClOSE!
jeanjeannie- 30 May
takenoprisoners - 4 July
Disneystar - 17July
johnworf - 15 Sept
iapanemagirl - 16 sept
Hedgepig - 4 Oct
Babycakes - 4 Oct

Hi Christie1 - welcome to you, congratulations and so glad you're feeling good about being 40+ and fabulous! So you should, too! You'll be one of the ones due pretty soon now, then - do you want to add your date to the list?

Hi to Hedgepig, welcome and congratulations. If you think baby and bifocals surreal, try my problem of baby and bunions (starting to really get me down now - my bunion, that is - especially with open-toed sandals beckoning ... I must find a way to keep my feet fabulous

TNP bunions sound horrid here is wishing you a lovely foot soak and foot rub.
Is anyone else feeling really tired? I can't decide if it my age our just running around doing too much.

hi all and hi kaz - other single mom to be !
my mom was v disappointed that i wasnt getting married or living with father - she wouldnt be if she knew what he was really like ! but she has now come to terms with things - she's v old fashioned !

i also decided against all the tests just because i probably would have got poor odds and then just worried sick so i am taking the ignorance is bliss approach and like others said wouldn't terminate anyway as i feel this is my last chance.
my midwife was fine about this but seemed very surprised when i didnt want to put the father as next of kin and put my brother instead! and kept asking if i was sure about that - yep i am!
i'm due 18 of sept and have a barely a visible bump at the moment!

Fab to read this really positive thread.
I am 46 with ds age 6 and dd age 9 months!
I'm loving it!

I have had a go at the list :
Wahwha - 15 May
Shulli - ClOSE!
jeanjeannie- 30 May
takenoprisoners - 4 July
Disneystar - 17July
Kaz196 - 18 July
johnworf - 15 Sept
iapanemagirl - 16 sept
Hedgepig - 4 Oct
Babycakes - 4 Oct

jeanjeannie My tip for conceiving naturally is give up trying and just have fun that's how this happened, I though my little monster was the menopause for over 2 months.

I opted not to have the triple test I had always said it was a pointless test as it does not give you a yes or no just a possibly not. My Midwife asked me once if I had thought about the various tests I said not having the tipple think it's pointless (blah blah blah) and would not consider an amnio or anything invasive because of the risk of miscarriage or a termination if I was given a high risk. No one has mentioned a thing since I said yes to was the abnormality scan. I am used to looking at scans and gave the poor lass doing it a running commentary. There are a very few things (life threatening) that would have made me consider ending this pregnancy but I don't think I could have gone through with a termination even knowing this little one had something not compatible with life.

lou What my parents said is quite frankly not printable but that is a whole different story

Hello fertile ones,

Today at work my stomach started out reasonably normal, by the end of the day it was a giant balloon, bursting through my shirt and fighting my too tight jeans. Time for the M&S stretchies methinks. Apparantly Gap also have some nice ones.

My spelling has gone out the window as has my concentration, I was nearly mowed down by a truck today as I wandered into it's path, oblivious. Pg really does shrink the brain then

I just saw this thread and wanted to pop on and say congrats to all of you! I had ds1 at age 38 and ds2 at 41. I think there's lots more of us older moms out there than the general population realizes

Good luck to you all!

I'm still chuckling at the bunions and bi-focals.

I've got varifocals and grey hair (which I obviously can't dye at the moment). My kids say the hair makes me look like a baddie out of a Fantastic 4 movie

I can't wait for someone to ask me when he/she starts school if I'm it's gran

Oh DEEP joy!

P.S. I'm still laughing away to myself