Pregnant, 40+ and Proud: Fabulous Mummies Sign Up Here!

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Following Ms Dynamo's wonderful news of her pregnancy and all the rest of us who are coming out of the woodwork ...a new, morale-boosting thread for those of us in our 40s currently going through pregnancy.

Come on, sign up: we are 40+ and FABULOUSLY PREGNANT!!!

msdynamo
Just to say, my thoughts are with you at the sad news of your M/C, the silent M/C are so frightening as they can happen as yours did a while before any signs show up. Would love to see you on this thread again in the future.All the best x

Hi ladies,

This thread seems to move so quickly it takes me ages just to catch up!

Firstly, msdynamo I'm sending you a big hug. I too had a MC at 9 weeks before this pregnancy and it wasn't a pleasant experience. My thoughts are with both you and your partner and hope that in time, it'll happen for you.

Hi rosebury. We are fortunate that the hospital is 20 minutes away and they've given us a free parking pass. She'll be at this hospital until 32 weeks and then moved to a nearer hospital (the one she is in now is a neonatal centre of excellence).

To quickly update on Katherine, we saw her this afternoon and shes holding her own. Here are some numbers which don't mean much to me but I'll try and translate as I've been told by those in the know

Her sats are at 25 which I'm told is quite minimal help on her ventilator. She is trying her best to hold her own b/p but has struggled a couple of times so they've put her back on the medication, then off, then back on etc etc. Pulse is 156. And she is in air most of the time. her humidity is set at 71. Now all that is pretty confusing to an amateur like me but the consultant assures me that's she's not in bad nick for one so tiny

With anything like this, they'll give no guarantees but have said they're optimistic.

As for me, yeah, it scared the f**king life outta me!!! She danced on my fanjo right up to her breech birth and they gave up monitoring her on the strap as she just kicked it off. This girl has serious attitude And to top it all off, demands a helicopter ride at less than 24 hours old. I mean, Shirley Bassey has nothing on her!!!

On a more serious note, my milk is here today and my hormones are up in the air so I'm spending the day crying over nothing much. I miss having her near to me but I'm scared to touch her when I see her - she looks like she might break

All the clothes I bought for her, well she could live in the leg of a normal babygro! Hopefully when she starts guzzling my milk, she'll get a wriggle on and grow like a weed

Hubby is trying his best (he missed the birth as we had DSS with us and it was all a bit gory for an 8year old). He's done me a pizza tonight and had to ask if we 'cook the cardboard as well or take it off'. Classic!

I'll check back with you all soon and hope that you are all looking after yourselves.

I'll second the speed of this thread. Ms Dynamo, I am so sorry to hear your news and my thoughts are with you.

Johnworf, my goodness-I blink and you have a baby. I'm a bit shocked, so I can't imagine how you and your family feel! I'm really glad to hear she's doing so well and my best wishes go to you and yours.

Johnworf Ok going to go through this for you incase it helps.

Not sure about the sats they may use a different measure to us or you miss heard what that figure meant you must have so much info being thrown at you, I am wondering if the 25 is the last figure of her blood pressure it would make sense as it is normally about the babies gestational age plus a bit. It is very very common for them to need medication to maintain blood pressure at this gestation but minimal ventilation is good as is being in air most of the time.

Humidity as 71 is normal they need it slightly higher than we do to help protect their skin which is quite thin saying that normal atmosphere (not air conditioned or artificially heated) is 52%

Pulse will fluctuate depending on time of day what has been happening to her etc it may go up to 180 if she gets hot or upset equally it is normal for it to drop if she is not happy. Things that will help it the most are probably the voices of you and your partner (because she could hear them in your tummy) so no matter how daft you feel talk to her get in a routine of saying the same thing when you arrive and go when you are brave enough to touch her tell her what you are going to do later on you will really see her react to you positivity as when will begin to recognise this is my Mummy and she does nice things to me.

You may find she gets over stimulated easily try doing one thing at time so if you talk to her don't try touching her initially at the same time you may just scare yourself but you will get to know very quickly what she likes and does not like.

When you are brave enough to touch her and help with things like changing a nappy you may find that putting your hand on her rather than what we are all tempted to do which is stroke is tolerated far better.

Watch her face you will very soon begin to work out her I don't like that look even with a tube in her mouth and eyes fused, you also find that they do things like put a hand over their face when they have had enough or hold it out in front of them again as if to say that's enough as well as setting the monitor off bleeping.

When she is stable if someone asks you if you would like a cuddle ask about kangaroo care it just means Katherine will be put on your chest right on your skin in just her nappy. Keep one of your parters shirts there for when they say she is ready it won't be until she has those lines out of her tummy button at the very earliest and different hospitals and different nurses have different policies and feelings about getting ventilated babies out I used to when it was quiet as long as there was a doctor around but I know not everyone was happy doing so. Babies sometimes take about 15-20mins to settle but once they do your smell your heartbeat and the warmth of your skin really stabilises them and most importantly they sleep so so much better something these little ones really struggle with because of their immaturity and everything we do to them as nurses and doctors. It is most therapeutic for them and you if they are out for 45 mins to 1hr (not at home so no access to my usual links but massive benefits re-bonding milk +++ for you too) Dads can do this too but initially we used to prioritise Mums for this type of contact until baby was that little bit bigger and stronger.

There's so much more I could tell you please ask if you think I can help or just tell me to shut up, It's worth checking out the BLISS website.

msdynamo words are not enough but thinking of ou both

MsDynamo so very,very sorry about your loss,take care x

Greetings from España!
I´m in an internet cafe but just couldn´t resist checking in. I´ll keep this sweet or it might cost me over 1 euro if I go over my 30 mins (hee hee).

So, just quickly - mysdynamo I am so sorry to hear about mc. Very sad news and I send you lots of hugs ((())))

johnworf you are one lady that doesn´t do things by half! many congrats on baby Katherine and hoping she goes from strength to strength - sure she will with a mummy like you. Hugs too ((()))

jeanjeannie just gasping to hear....

babycakes can´t read a message from you without tears welling - maybe the hormones don´t help but you are being so strong and everything you write is so warm and positive. More hugs (((())))

Everyone else - hello!. Spain is delicious and warm and we languish by the pool and eat cheese and lovely bread and spanish meat and yesterday I gorged on delicious fish. SLURP .

xx

Morning ladies very cloudy at the moment here in Bristol it looks like it is going to pour down any minute.

Kaz1967 the message you have written is lovely I am sure that johnworf will appreciate it a great deal. I have come across you before on another thread it was when I first joined mn and did not know my way around very well.

bye for now xx

Hello everyone, I am very touched and grateful for your kind words, it means a lot to me, I do not feel alone. I am lucky to have support from my Mum and my other half too.

I am feeling a bit better today, and I think after my D&C tomorrow I can begin to think about the future in a positive way.

winegumss I thank you for your positive message too.

See you all soon,

love msdynamo xxx

MsDynamo - I am so sorry to hear what has happened. I had the same thing happen with my previous pg - started bleeding at 12 weeks and discovered it had been a silent m/c some weeks before. I hadn't even realised such a thing could happen. You may not be ready to begin thinking about it yet but you do hear a lot of people saying that they can fall pg gain quite quickly after a m/c. Take care xx

kaz1967 - Im sure jw will find that very helpful - and its probably the sort of thing that the nurses may not always have time to explain.

johnworf I am so glad everything seems to be going as well as it could be expected so far. You and your LO have been in my thoughts every day. I was reading the story the other day of the American woman who gave birth at 21+6 (the most premature ever to survive) and she said that she left a recording of her voice to be played to the baby in her incubator when she wasn't there. I don't know if this is something that you would be allowed to do here but you might want to consider it at some point. Take one day at a time. xx

MB we have had similar things done by parents as you describe and they made an amazing difference to babies even real premmies. One little girl I remember both her parents made a tape where they said hello in the normal way they greeted her then they read a story in this case both read a Beatrice Potter one and finished with what they usually said when they left. Mum was on one side Dad on the other and they both had the most amazing effect on her, She would to from this tiny screaming child in an incubator to a wide awake, calm and looking around little girl until the tape finished and then she fell asleep.

You will need a player with speakers because electricity and oxygen do not mix and the hospitals maintenance department will probably want to check it out. But from my experience it is well worth doing and at least something positive parents feel they can do.

It is not something that you want running all the time either because extreme premmies don't cope well with too much stimulation at once

msdynamo glad that you popped in and that you are feeling a little better under the circumstances. I will be thinking of you tomorrow while you have your D&C and send you a big (((((hug))))).

kaz1967 thanks for all your wonderful information, tips and suggestions! I've been to see Katherine today and they've changed a few things and stopped a few things as they do. I meant to say that 25 is the number of breaths per minute the machine is doing for her....the rest she's doing herself. She's off the antibiotics now and on the insulin drip. Again they say this is normal. Both her head scans show 'smooth' and no bleeds so far. Her Hb came back at 11.1 today but she'll probably need a transfusion at some point cos of all the bloods they take from her.

Her humidity is now down to 65 and coming down gradually each day. They are today starting her on lipids (?) to fatten her up. She does rather resemble a baby bird at the mo

Her eyes seemed to be fused but I did think that when she was delivered they were half open but I can't be sure. I've managed to touch her in the 'containment' hold I've been shown rather than stroking her but she always looks so comfy I hate to disturb her.

They allow us to put a teddy bear in her incubator so I've bought 2 - I'm going to get my DH to put one under his tshirt tomorrow and take it in next day...then she has his smell and I'll do the same with the other one.

We're not allowed to hold her yet as she's all wired up through her umbilical cord still and that will remain until at least next week.

Other than that, I'm having a crying day today. No reasons at all just my body doesn't know what day it is!

Milk is coming thick and fast now so I've got a freezer drawer stockpiling for her when she's ready for it. She can't yet have milk cos of the b/p medication I'm told.

Thanks once again ladies for your comments and kind wishes. wahwah yeah...I'm an awkward so and so and always take the hard way even if there's an easy way to be found! Katherine is showing the same traits and is one tiny baby with a giant attitude already. DH thinks she's already got him wrapped around his little finger

that's what I imagined - a little bedtime story or something. I imagine it would also be comforting for mum and dad to know that baby can be soothed by their voices while they can't be there.

evening I've just logged on after a week away. I reeling from all that has happened over the last week. Babycakes I am so sorry, we were due at the same time I just don't know what to say. ((((Big hug to you and DH))).
Msdynamo I'm so sorry for you too, I hope tomorrow isn't too traumatic.
Johnworf blooming heck girl what a dramatic entrance for Katherine. I hope she has been OK today

MsDynamo and Babycakes not sure if you already know this, but there's a M/C thread (in the conception topics) I joined that thread when I had my last M/C back in September, I still pop in from time to time. I found the thread to be of great comfort, there's lot's of ladies in the same boat as you both and they all offer each other support and reassurance. I know you would both be made very welcome if you were to join the thread, there are some truly lovely ladies on that thread. It's just a suggestion, there's no rush, just hope you are both coping ok. xxx

Just popped in after some computer probs and shocked to read all the news
babycakes I'm devastated for you. There are no words to help...I lost a little girl, Robyn, at 17 weeks and was besides myself with grief, "Eris's thread for bereaved mummies" here on mn has been a source of consolation since though you may not be ready for it yet. You and your dh are in my thoughts.
msdynamo ditto. I'm so sorry. I hope the hospital staff give you all the comfort and support possible as you go though this terrible time.
Johnworf OMG! Drama queen or what? I hope Katherine continues to progress well (though I know it is very tough for you not being with her 24/7 and in fear for her)but if you are in either St Marys or Hope you are in the most wonderful place (well the St Ms building may not be wonderful but the specialist staff are the best)I know because my cousins 28 wks daughter was born and cared for at Hope and is now the most lovely bright and outgoing child imaginable and I had my son at StMs last Sept and they were just fantastic. I will be thinking of you all and look forward to reading your updates

Hi FloriaTosca. Katherine is at St Mary's neonatal and so far, the staff have been fantastic! Very reassuring and answering all my questions even though I ask the same ones about a million times I think they'll transfer her at 32 weeks to Hope (where she should have been born, or to Fairfield, which is the closest).

Rang this morning and she's had her ventilator turned down again so she's doing a lot more for herself on the breathing front. Her b/p meds have been reduced as well. Staff seem happy with her progress so far. I am told that girls have the edge over boys as they're stronger...no surprise there really is there girls?!

I've posted a pic of her on my profile if you can see her behind all the machinery (robobaby )

johnworf it's over 2 years since I worked in neonatal intensive care and that picture brings it all back.

The fluids she is getting are all made specifically for her needs from bloods taken in the morning and contain not only sugar and salts as you normally see but protein and now the white lipids, Don't know what their policy is but the lipids may stop and start if she goes back under the lights. Girls do usually do better than boys but be forewarned it can be a case of 2 steps forward one back with many this tiny it is an exhausting roller-coaster.

Johnworf I think we must live quite close...Fairfield is my nearest hospital (though being in Rossendale (Lancashire rather than Manchester)officially we should go miles out of our way to Blackburn or Burnley)St Marys is a hell of a treck but at least parking is no longer a nightmare and as you already know the staff are second to none. (roll on the new building to match the top class care!) I'm thrilled to hear how well Katherine is progressing and pray that she is the exception that proves the rule in that she gets continuously stronger and gives you no more heart stopping moments. If there is anything you need or anything you need help with I would be more than happy to assist if I possibly can.

johnworf Katherine is so beautiful, I now know what you mean when you said you would be frightened to pick her up, I have never see a baby so small before. I had a baby born at 39 wks that weighed 4lb 13oz I thought he was small, he was only in scbu for 1 week and I would be in tears every time I left him, my heart goes out to you, I know you will cope, both you and Katherine sound like fighters, lots of love to you bothxx

Hi ladies,

Thanks for your comments

Katherine is having her long line put in as I post...her blood gases are the best she has ever had today (after some sodium bicarb to mop up some acids in her blood). Her skin has now become like ours and less red in colour. Her umbilical line is being taken out as well and they're talking about putting her on a CPAP soon...but not yet.

Sorry about all this jargon, I barely know what I'm talking about !!!

kaz1967 she's off the lamps now her bilirubin levels have come right down but I know what you mean about 2 steps forward and 1 back....She's started on the lipids today so we'll have to see how they go on with them. Still not taking milk cos of the dopamine...but she's not got her flying goggles on anymore

FloriaTosca I live in Unsworth (part of Bury) so yep, it's a bit of a trek at the mo but one that we can cope with. Hadn't realised you were just up the road from me

I'm taking weekly photos of her to see how she changes so Wednesday is when she is 1 week old and hopefully you'll all be able to reassure me that she's turning into a looker! Bit like me naturally

jw - thanks for taking the time to update us. It's a bit mad how concerned you can get about the progress of the baby of someone you have never met!! - even my OH is now asking me regularly whether you have been on and how Katherine is doing

She is beautiful - fragile but somehow determined looking at the same time...so glad she is progressing well.

Johnworf so pleased to hear that Katherine is doing well and you are entitled to have a cry every day if you want to your hormones must be up the wall.

Johnworf and Floriatosca I now live in Bristol but come from Bury and Tottington I went to East Ward school and my dh went to the Derby I so miss Bury market potatoe pies and steak and kidney puddings.

rosebury I'll send you some Chadwicks black pudding now you're a southerner...you'll prolly just eat caviar and quails eggs or something....I can even do tripe if you like

mrsboogie that is so lovely that even your OH is asking (mightily impressed a man would be interested!). Thanks for taking the time to keep up with Katherine's progress. When she's 14 and asking for money (at least a £100 because 'dad, you do know I nearly died when I was born') and doesn't come home and roams the streets with lads...I'll remind her ...and she'll sigh and go 'WHATEVER'!

hi johnworf, saw pic of your Katherine. she is gorgeous...

Rosebury:commiserations on going southI'll pop down to Bury market and eat a pudding for you this week
Johnworf: I hope the line went in without any trouble and that your darling tiny Katherine keeps up her marvellous progress.I'll check in tomorrow to see how she is doing. Thanks for taking the time to keep us updated.