Still not conceived after a year of trying

[MinnieMouse32]

Writing on here because I don't know who else to talk to.
It took 1 month with trying for my first baby
Been trying for a second for 1 year now and still not had a successful pregnancy (has a early miscarriage 2 months ago)
Blood tests say I'm fine etc and there's nothing the dr can do
I came on my period again today and I feel so so low about it all and have hit rock bottom
I don't even know what my Q is to ask I just need help and advice on getting myself through this. Had someone tell me I should be grateful ive at least had one child as I know some people haven't been successful at all
Please help me x
-guilty mama

I fell pg early 20s within 12 months with my 3 healthy boys. Now at 37 we started ttc again in march 23 and concieved august 24 so 1.5 year's unfortunately we lost baby last week but hope this helps you feel less alone not all of us fall quickly at any age. İ hope you have a sticky healthy baby soon and fully understand how it feels when the ugly period shows month after month x

It's so shit and the thing about Secondary infertility is you aren't really in the infertility community (which is fair enough) but it can still be pretty hard. Guilt around age gaps and constantly surrounded by baby friends getting pregnant with a second can make it really hard.

I do think that if you had a recent miscarriage, whilst very upsetting, then that is a good sign that things are working. Hopefully you will get your bfp soon. You could always have some tests for peace of mind.

It has taken us 18 long months second time around and I'm older and there was a problem with DH's sperm it turned out- that has probably always been there but we did get pregnant without any help. Sometimes it's just a bit random.

So sorry you're struggling, that sounds really tough.

I'm not sure what conversation you've had with your GP, but after 12 months of not having a successful pregnancy they can/should refer you to a fertility consultant, so feel free to push for that.

However the fact that you had an early miscarriage, whilst really upsetting (I know, I've had 3 miscarriages), is reassuring from a medical point of view as it means your tubes and his sperm are working. Miscarriages sadly are really common, but there's a really good chance the next pregnancy will be successful and so if you want to keep trying naturally you can. 80% of couples conceive within the first year of trying, but of the 20% that don't, half conceive naturally in the second year.

Whilst having a child already means you won't qualify for IVF on the NHS, you do still qualify for all the fertility investigations and IVF isn't the only thing that might be needed when you're having fertility issues. And there's a really good chance that you will have a successful pregnancy while you're waiting for the NHS clinic appointment, but it's nice knowing that's there in the background in case you don't.