Would you become pregnant at 47 if....

[Noangelbuthavingfun]

You desperately know you've always wanted a 2nd child and it never went away ... tried but failed many times.... would you go for donor eggs and partner sperm and just do it ? Many celebrities do it late into 40s.... its now or never. I'm just thinking you regret the things you never did...

Personally I wouldn’t. I always wanted a second child but couldn't really go ahead for practical and financial reasons. Now that I’m 42, I do feel too old to go through pregnancy and birth again. It would be a high-risk pregnancy.

I might if I had celebrity-level money.
It will be exhausting, so I'd want rock solid childcare, probably a night nanny for the early days.
I'd want to have time to look after my own health and fitness properly, and to rest, so I'd want to be able to survive on very part time wages or even take a career break.
I'd want to be in a financial position to look after my own care in old age.
If I had all those in place, and it was something I really wanted, then maybe yes.
My own dad was in his 40s when I was born. I had 40 good years with him before dementia took him and I don't think that's too bad. But if course not everyone is so lucky, it's a risk.

Doing family history, the oldest natural birth I've seen was at 46. It would be exhausting, and heap peri-menopause on top of sleepless nights. I had a baby after 40 but no, I wouldn't conside that again at 47.

Agree with pp, only if I was in a position to pave the way for a smooth and easy ride.

I'm 48 and perimenopause is making itself felt, I wouldn't want to be trying to handle the early years alongside that unless I was incredibly well supported.

I have a friend who would have loved a second and it will always be a corner of her heart that remains tender. She has a cancer that means she can't ever do it. She has come to terms with it but of course it is the road never travelled and there'll always be that sliding doors thought in her head.

I think a baby that late in life could do easily be a 'careful what you wish for' decision, and it would be lower risk and so, likely wiser, to really invest in the life you have... Even if that means you are wistful.

Only you can answer what is right in your personal circumstances OP

No, no and no again. It hasn't happened, getting a donor egg and sperm to create a child at 47 just because you want one isn't fair on the child at all. For many reasons, but imagine pushing 60 and your child is still in primary school. That's if it was even a successful pregnancy, which it probably wouldn't be at 47.

I’m 43 I just couldn’t do it I don’t feel healthy enough.

I had my youngest at 41 and despite being a super energetic person who has always managed well with little sleep I would say definitely not. I'm in perimenopause with two kids, one of whom is a teen and it's really hard. I wish I'd been a few years younger but absolutely no older. Sorry

Absolutely not.

If I had the money for a cleaner and a nanny to help me when they were young. If I had enough money to guarantee the child a good life even if I die when they are relatively young.
Then yes.

This thread is a duplicate isn't it ?

I don’t think I would actively pursue it after 43. But it’s personal choice. My dad had me in his forties and is going strong. My mum was ten years younger and died early.

No. 39 when Our youngest was born. Totally different experience to our first, 9 years earlier. He’s been an absolute (and totally unexpected) blessing but physically it was much harder. 60 and 65 now, he’s making his way in the adult world and we can finally step back and relax.
The idea of having to hands on parent for another 10 years is frankly horrific.

Wasn’t this posted yesterday as well?

No I personally wouldn’t- I had my DD at 38 and often have guilty moments that I won’t be as hands on a grandma as she has if she has kids and won’t see her age as long as I’d like to so an extra almost ten years is a lot and not fair on the child in my opinion.

You are thinking of your wants - wanting a second child not the wants/ needs of another child . You may need to see a therapist to deal with the loss of the idea of a second child

Many celebrities hire a surrogate a fake a pregnancy. They give the false impression it comes easily to older women to conceive, carry a child, give birth and rarely admit the truth.

Nope

Maybe. I would want a nanny/ babysitter/
family though (but this is because I like going out, socialising, having food, drinks, etc.)

It would be harder but not impossible.

Just edit to add I’m 46.

Only if I'd had one child in 40's already.

No, I wouldn’t want to be dealing with a teen in my 60s. But I had my children young and my youngest will turn 18 in my mid 40s. I’d possibly have a different opinion if I’d started having children in my 40s so that chapter of my life was already ring fenced for parenting young children

God absolutely not
For me op but everyone's different.

My dc are mid teens older teeens and adult now and I've def gone past that stage but it would be different if I hadn't already had dc.

It totally depends on your lifestyle,health,fitness etc and if you already have dc

So much judgement…it’s a bit harsh and quite unnecessary, this is supposed to be a mums support and advice network!

OP, as one sage mimsnetter wrote, only you can decide. But you asked for views.::

I had my one and only child at 49 (DE, 3rd round IVF). I truly wish id been 29 or 39, but I wasn’t. And what utter joy I’ve had the privilege of for the past 4+ years. I’m so grateful that I’ve had this chance/option

you’re already a mum so you know what you’re in for. If you use a donor you’re risks decrease massively, and carrying your child makes her yours with the generosity of another woman x

I say yes, go for it!! don’t look back in regret, look back with tired eyes and love in your heart and be glad you gave it a go, whatever your outcome

good luck

For me it would be a definite "no".

My mother had me later in life and as a child I was embarrassed that my parents were so much older than the other parents. I would be mortified when they were mistaken for my grandparents! My poor mother just didn't have the energy (understandably) to be an active parent; she looked and acted exhausted.

And of course by the time I had my own child she was quite elderly and mostly missed out on being a grandparent. And as a mother with a very young child I was also dealing with eldercare issues.

This may sound harsh, but having older parents is often hard on a child.

No. I’m 47 and I absolutely wouldn’t.

I don’t mean to be harsh, but if you haven’t done it by 47, it’s not meant to be. ‘Celebrities’ with millions can farm out all the shitty bits of parenting and housekeeping and dogsbodying…but even then I just can’t see how being in your 60s with teenagers is a good thing.

There is a cut off age for having babies, and I personally think 47 is way past it.

I think it depends on the individual, at 43 I was superfit and would have had no problem with having another child, at just turned 48 my energy levels are lower and if I had a baby now then no housework is getting done at any point in the next few years, but if at 47 you're very energetic it might be right for you.

Many celebrities do it late into 40s....

They use surrogates.

Not a fucking chance.