Did anyone have a drink or two in third trimester?

[loub91]

Tbh not looking for any backlash or judgment, just trying to understand views. So, I am going on holiday to Rhodes next week which will fall over my birthday and I will be 31 + 6 weeks. Now one of my friends said treating myself to a birthday cocktail or a couple of glasses of wine would be totally okay (I haven't touched a single drop of alcohol throughout and found out when I was 2 weeks as well) and that even having a glass of wine with dinner isn't totally frowned upon.

I even spoke to my midwife and she also said its really not the end of the world to have a glass of wine here and there in the third trimester, but she advised there isn't a "known" amount of alcohol that is deemed safe hence why its not recommended.. but she told me she had some prosecco at a friends wedding when she was in the 3rd trimester so its really down to how I feel about it as well.

And if I'm being totally honest I have been craving a little drink every now and then! I've always been a sensible person but being pregnant throughout the summer has been a bit depressing and I have struggled in the pregnancy quite a lot with various, aches pains, nausea, you name it.. so I can see why I feel like I want to have a cheeky little tipple on hols!

I just want to know if anyone else did this and what your views are (again no nasty judgment please). I feel as though I should be able to enjoy a little drink on my birthday especially as I am on holiday too but I still feel some guilt around it? Any advice or feedback is welcomed🙂

I had a small glass per trimester. One on my 40th birthday. One at Christmas. A glass of champagne to celebrate a good friend's 50th.

No judgement from me OP.

Ah I totally understand the paranoia, I just feel like people would think I'm the worst person for thinking or asking these questions. It is definitely a hot topic but nearly all of my friends enjoyed a tipple or two in the last trimester as well and I want to do the right thing but I also feel that I'm not really doing anything wrong.. say compared to the women that smoked through pregnancies, and didnt care about getting drunk lol

Thank you lovely!

yes, the Royal College of Obstetricians and the NHS state that flying is safe in an uncomplicated single pregnancy before 37 weeks

I had the occasional glass of wine in the third trimester with both of mine. I was pretty gung-ho through both pregnancies and certainly went to Italy at about 6 months, but I don't think I'd have gone so far so late.

I had a lovely glass of Prosecco for my 30th birthday and when I was 38 weeks. I enjoyed it, didn’t feel guilty and felt fine afterwards. Other than that, I didn’t drink anything through pregnancy, but I felt I had earned that and enjoyed every drop guilt free!

I had one small glass of red wine on Christmas day, I was 38 weeks, had my baby 2 days after.
No one can say if it's safe etc due to lack of research for obvious ethical reasons.
So you just need to be mindful.

I didn't, it wasn't worth any potential risk to me. I've judged people for drinking when pregnant, only in my head though. You're free to make your own decisions.

No not a drop. I just thought it wasn't that long to wait

I would be fine with this but would ensure I only drank with food and only after I’d started eating so stomach not empty. The goal is to keep blood alcohol low so with food is key (just think about all those times pre-pregnancy that you got drunker thank you expected, usually because drinking on an empty stomach!). I have had a few half glasses of wine here and there this pregnancy but sipped so slowly, like half a glass over two hours with a three course meal. Never enough to feel the effects just for the taste. And super picky about the wine as it’s my only glass!

Personally i wouldn’t fly or drink but I appreciate that’s due to my own losses and experiences - wouldn’t be worth the risk for me for the sake of a drink.

It’s your decision, your body, baby and life, can’t imagine a glass of wine would cause any serious harm but it’s your risk to take. I think most health professionals would advise against it.

No but more because I don't really see the point. There's lots of nice alternatives to alcohol instead. I had a night out with work at 36 weeks pregnant and the bartender made me some lovely mocktails like a proper cocktails. I'd rather just have one of those when pregnant, and I wouldn't really enjoy drinking alcohol in that situation anyway as it wouldn't feel right to me. But if it's something you want to do, I doubt there's any real harm in it. It just seems a bit unnecessary I suppose for the sake of a few weeks.

As PPs have said - in 70s and 80s doctors often recommend Guinness and all of those babies were fine! I also know that in other countries (France, Spain) they are far more relaxed about the occasional glass of wine or champagne.

Having said that, I’ve have been pleasantly surprised by how many really realistic non-alcoholic options there are now (seems to be so much more since COVID). Lots of nice non-alcoholic beers, cocktails and gins to try. Martini even has a really decent alcohol free spritz! This has helped me feel like I’m not missing out, particularly in summer / while on holidays.

I didn't in my pregnancy but my mum had a pint of Guineas every week when pregnant with me.

I drank a couple of small glasses of wine once or twice a week throughout my pregnancy, as recommended at the time. My twin DDs are early 20s. Absolutely fine and a fab weight for twins (both over 6 pounds).

I think the guidelines changed to reduce any doubt about the amount. It's easier to have a blanket 'no booze' rule than a low guideline that might be abused or misinterpreted by some.

Enjoy it OP, it won't do any harm.

No, I didn't personally, as I've family members with FASD. It was a bit too close to home to feel comfortable with that risk and it's just not something I would have enjoyed. I got absolutely and viciously slagged off for that choice by quite a few people. I learned early on that no matter what I do, even when it's the 'right' thing, I would get shite for it by some.

Back then (my oldest is 20 so it was FAS, Pre-natal Alcohol-related injury and a few other conditions at the time which were brought together as Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder in recent years) there was such a big stigma around those conditions, I think even larger than now as back then it was treated that the mother has to be a severe alcoholic for FASD to happen, which has since been proven not to be the case - it's a risk like certain foods or activities that increases the more it's done, but it's always there. It's still quite stigmatised - it's roughly as to twice as common as Autism, but it's far less likely to be tracked or get support and last I checked England only has one place for the whole country that really deals with it and handles diagnosis of non-infants and it's nearly impossible to do as it requires evidence the mother drank - but I think we've slowly moved towards recognising the risks in-line with others during pregnancy, just the birthing process itself has far more risks leading to disability than enjoying one glass.

As PPs have said - in 70s and 80s doctors often recommend Guinness and all of those babies were fine!

No, not all of them were fine. We can discuss alcohol in line with other risks during pregnancy rather than treating it like the ultimate sin without erasing that it is a risk at all or that in the past, children who were significantly impacted were often put out of sight and out of mind or just treated as many with learning disabilities were then as being lazy and just in the need of more discipline.

I had a small glass once or twice a week without feeling even the slightest bit guilty from second semester.

My one rule was that if I was going to only have one glass every few days, it had to be a bloody good one! No cheap house white for me!

For what it's worth @loub91 I've never judged or would in the future when seeing a pregnant woman imbibe at all, I'm just not fussed about alcohol myself and I've obviously reached the stage where the guidelines for breastfeeding are outdated, ( it was inevitable) we were always told to pump and dump but at least you don't have to worry about that.

I've read too many horror stories of perfectly uncomplicated pregnant women ending up in early labour half way around the world to take the risk myself but I think so long as you have decent insurance you should enjoy your holiday, sounds like it will be a good bit of fun.

I don’t particularly care about what other women do, so wouldn’t judge, but for my baby, absolutely no way.

Please dont, read about FASD, it is not worth it. It is International FASD Awareness Day today so hoping this thread is for awareness!
https://nationalfasd.org.uk/get-involved/international-fasd-day/

Goodness, and I see from reading this thread awareness is needed! Remember doctors also used to advise smoking in pregnancy, just because things were done in the 70s and 80s doesn't make it ok!
FASD is more prevalent than autism its such a hidden disability but so easily preventable.

I wouldn’t, and didn’t, mostly because I wouldn’t be able to cope with the guilt and the ‘what if’ if there was something wrong. I would blame myself!

If your child turned out to have some development delays or other challenges as many do, would you be forever looking back to those cocktails on holiday and wondering "What if...." The chances are those challenges would have happened anyway but would you put it down to that drink and not forgive yourself?

DD is autistic, we have (highly likely but undiagnosed) autistic family members and it's a condition that is largely genetic, but I still look back on the hyperemesis I had and the fact I couldn't eat properly and was on various medications and wonder "What if..." And that's for something I had absolutely no control over and there are often many threads on this forum of new parents asking similar.

Personally if I were you I wouldn't, I'd have mocktails and 0% and be as healthy as possible, and then the following year go all ok it (if a baby sitter can tag along on the holiday!)

It could be the flying rather than the alcohol though.

The OP is going to be in the air for a couple of hours.

Flying is horrible on your body even if you aren't pregnant.

Edited to say: If your child has autistic blood relations, regardless of side, then yes they are more likely to be autistic. It isn't your or their father's fault.

Please don't, there's no safe time and no safe amount.
FASD is so under diagnosed due to the stigma surrounding it, no one really looks for it in children living with their mum especially if she's not an addict, but it can cause such a wide range of difficulties. Enjoy your holiday and order a mocktail!