I wake up every morning thinking I want an abortion.

[noirmum]

I think I’m about to be 8 weeks but I’m not 100% sure until I get a private scan in 2 days. Every single day when I wake up and feel nauseous and whenever I try eat anything until about the 20th mouthful I feel it coming back up in a horrible way but I know it won’t come back up which is torturing me the most. I’m 18 years old and I was so excited for a few weeks about my pregnancy until morning sickness hit. Day 1 I was nauseous from early morning to late late night to the point I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t lay down because I had to get up because of how sick I felt. It went on for a few days then disappeared. Me and my fiancé now sleep on the couch together so I can sit up straight and also lay down and I love him for how caring and supportive he is so far. As this is his child too having an abortion is a conversation we both have and I find it’s become daily. I can tell he’s sick of it but from being healthy and active to being in bed sleeping during the day and eating my first meal past 4pm because of the sleep I can’t get at night it’s a big change and a nightmare. I have emetophobia a fear of throwing up which is making these few weeks terrifying. My fiancé is in the military and works 12 hour shifts 4 times a week so I’m alone in the house dealing with it alone and his work give no care about it whatsoever. In those 12 hours he’s on shift for 4 hours of it which I think is terrible. The person who deals with it has a kid with her boyfriend who’s also in the military so she’s bias and can take him off when she wants but not my fiancé when he just wants to look after me during this horrible time. I know I don’t want an abortion at all but there’s times where I’m literally crying to my fiancé saying I can’t take it anymore telling him how much I want to sleep and be able to eat food again. How much I want to go out to museums and castles again. Thinking pregnancy literally makes you bloom I fell into it and now I’m trapped knowing I will never mentally recover no matter what I do. Thinking of abortion daily because of my sickness is horrible. Has anyone else experience this type of mental breakdown?

Hey, i was 17 when i found out i was pregnant with my first, unplanned, i also had really bad morning sickness all day everyday, until about 18 weeks, it was awful and i really feel for you, i struggled through (alone as my ex is/was an abusive twat) she is now 14 and well worth the awful pregnancy, and it honestly didn’t leave any permanent mental damage as i went on to have 4 more children with my current partner lol, you will get through it, try travel sickness bands, they do help take the edge off, i used to nibble on ginger nut biscuits but it was a struggle to even bring them to my lips most days, little n often as not eating anything will make it worse, hang in there he/she will be worth it xx on a side note, i have 3 girls and 2 boys and my sickness was always worse with the girls xx

I can’t exactly do anything if you read the post I’m bedridden.

My fiancé is 21 and working in the military and I’ve baby sat children since I was 9 years old sometimes for 1-2 weeks at a time I have a good idea what being a mother is like.

It's not clear from your posts if you are feeling nauseous or actually vomiting, you said you know it wont come back up so that suggest nausea. Also being bedridden will not help if you are trying to eat, you need to keep upright after eating. So I'm not clear if you have hyperemesis gravidarum or normal pregnancy sickness made worse by being an emetophobe and by lying flat. Even if it is hyperemesis it's possible it will stop between 13 and 20 weeks.

What have you dried? Ginger biscuits and eating little at a time, cold foods may be tolerated when hot foods are not, medication? Are you tolerating liquids? If you want the baby then try to manage it until 13 weeks in the hope it improves.

Confused what her job has to do with anything @pinkfleece ??

@noirmum

OP I am so sorry you feel this way and I want to say I understand a little.

I am 36 years old, been trying for a baby for years and had a m/c last year. I am almost 7 weeks pregnant and the symptons are making me so so miserable.

My morning sickness kicked in at 3w 5d, I am terrified of having another miscarriage, overthinking ever little pain and really emotional.

My husband is ex forces so I am very used to being on my own and sometimes prefer it but he is due to go away a few days this weeks and I am so scared in case something goes wrong.

If you look through mumsnet, loads of posters have a horrible first trimester regardless of age.

I do agree with checking in with your gp though to see if they can give you anything to help.

Sending you lots of love.

Honestly OP, some of the replies on here are so awful! But what can you expect from Mumsnet. I've had my fair share of nasty replies on here!
I had my child at 18... me and my (now) fiancé were young, yes. But we knew we wanted to be parents, and so she was planned.
The morning sickness was horrific. It is so hard to do anything when you're going through it, so I do empathise with you. I remember how horrid it was.
I have friends with emetaphobia, and I know how difficult that is for them also, so I can only imagine how awfully that and pregnancy sickness go together!
There is help out there, you can speak to your GP or your midwife about this and they will help you - so please try and get some help for that, so you can get back to feeling like yourself, and get excited about your pregnancy again.
My sickness started to lay off at around 9-10 weeks and I didn't get it back again. I hope it's the same for you.
Don't listen to the silly replies on here, implying that you're not ready to be a mother because of your age. Only YOU and your fiance know if you are ready or not. These people do not know you 🩷

Ability to support a child?

Still don't see the relevance of that to this particular thread. OP is asking for advice around how negative she is feeling while she is experiencing sickness in her pregnancy. She has made it abundantly clear her abortion thoughts are directly related to wanting to end the sickness, and that the child is very much wanted. She isn't here to be judged on whether or not she is ready to have a child. She has already made that decision!

I didn't have HG but plenty of other shite that has made pregnancy very, very difficult. I am 35 and married with a much wanted child and even I had a moment where I thought wtf have I done, I can't do another 6 months of this. But I did, and I'm almost there now and very happy.

That being said, your age is relevant. I have made it through because of a very supportive hands on partner, money to throw at extra help (private physio etc) and a supportive circle of friends. Having a baby at 18 is tough. The fact you didn't expect pregnancy to be really hard work speaks to the fact you are very young. Every woman I know talks about how incredibly hard work pregnancy is; if anything, I was moaning everyone is too negative!

You do what you want but 18 and far away from your support network is a recipe for disaster. You may become a very strong woman and you may overcome whatever life throws at you, but you are purposely making your life much much harder, so be aware of that.

And how exactly are you going to cope with a newborn when your fiance is out working such long hours?

I mean, you will cope. We can all cope. But life doesn't need to be this hard. Life is not just about coping. You are choosing to make it harder.

@noirmum OP why are you posting your phone number?

You should be taking folic acid too

Babysitting other people's children is very different to raising your own child, especially when they're a baby. It concerns me that you're only 18 but live several hours away from your family and don't have financial independence. I can't believe you haven't even registered with a GP. You sound like a very young 18 year old. Don't you want to go to university to gain a degree, make friends? Or do an apprenticeship?

I was sick until I was around 20 weeks pregnant. I did end up taking anti sickness tablets which helped a little bit.

Just to add - had my baby in my mid 20s, really slim and healthy. Childbirth made me really unwell. I really liked having my parents nearby.

We’re financially completely fine. We’re in the middle of moving to a different part of the country so we don’t have a gp to register at. My age doesn’t change a thing about being ready for a baby or not and yes baby sitting isn’t like my own kids but I spent weeks looking after the babies myself while parents were away so I have a good idea on how to look after children. I’m guessing you’re American and 18 year olds don’t have financial responsibility for themselves at 18.

I am English. The majority of 18 year olds in the UK don't have financial security unless they have an older boyfriend with a good job.

having a baby at 18 isn’t that young, i was 18 when i had my first, im 32 now and my youngest is 7 months, and there isn’t much difference regarding my age to how i parent, age has nothing to do with parenting/ how you handle pregnancy in my opinion xx

You can ask to be seen by any gp as a temporary patient. https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/gps/how-to-register-with-a-gp-surgery/

You're getting very defensive about your age but it absolutely does make a difference in how you cope, the kind of support you have etc. And this will affect how you experience pregnancy and deal with HG. Please see a GP asap.

And the part about your fiance being in the military is very relevant too. My own DH is ex military so I know a bit about it. Being the trailing spouse is extremely hard and isolating. You will be raising that baby alone for a lot of the time. And many marriages fail. You can undo a house move, you can get a divorce, but you will never, ever completely break it off with a man you have a child with. Given how young you both are, it would be prudent to give the relationship a few more years before having kids.

Your body, your choice. Everyone here is just trying to help as we are all 10-20 years from where you are.

Good luck and go see a GP asap. Don't suffer unnecessarily.

How are things, @noirmum?

how are you? I am sending love.